Horror Movie Night

It's Halloweentime again at the old HMN place, and the guys have once again agreed to subject themselves to an appropriately questionable kids' movie in honor of the best day of the freakin' year - this time around, it's Ernest Scared Stupid from 1991. It's no Spaced Invaders, but Adam and Scott have reservations, while Matt is, as usual, awashed in a golden shower of nostalgia. Bust out your miak, troll boogers, and weird multi-costume expositional montages, it's the annual Horror Movie Night Halloween episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brothers can be such a pain... Always needing rides everywhere, always bugging you telepathically while you're on a date, eating 10 gross hamburgers in a sitting, hiding in the toilet; you know, typical brother stuff. The HMN brothers-from-different-mothers try to keep a lid on Frank Henenlotter's 1982 cult classic Basket Case in this week's episode, even though one of their ranks has been chopped in half by a homemade saw device that has the police stumped. If you're rolling around in your brother's girlfriend's guts, you know what time it is - it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, it must be Adam's week to pick a movie, because nothing else could explain the inextricable and excruciating experience endured by your hosts at the hands of 1996's Island of Dr. Moreau. The excellent documentary Lost Souls makes an appearance wearing the same clothes as Marlin Brando while stealing the show. Come WILSON with the rest of the castaways on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The leaves are changing, pumpkins are ready for carving, and your hosts are taking over the October picks, starting with 1988's Halloween 4! Leave your love of John Carpenter at the door, as he pretty much had nothing to do with this film. Dust off your clown costumes (hello, relevant!), it's October on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Life got you down? Can't seem to get ahead at work? Girlfriend not letting you commit vehicular homicide as often as you'd like? Dweeb at the gym getting in the way of your regular regimen of benchpressing, karate and cigarettes? If everything is stressin' you out, man, Uncle Llyodie's got a present for you - the HMN boys are bringing you their sludge-covered two cents on Troma's 1986 B-grade masterpiece The Toxic Avenger! The guys are decked out in their best sissy stuff and are ready for some action in the locker room, join them and get slimed on another episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We heard you like head explosions - here's a movie with one in the first scene! The guys burn their way through 1995's splatter quasi-commentary Evil Ed, while ruminating about their own dark futures if they continue down their current path. Oh, and Bill Moseley's voice. Grab an umbrella, because loose limbs are falling like manna from heaven this week on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a random, humid evening in September, perfect for watching a Christmas horror film about a killer snowman and the dumbasses he terrorizes on a tropical resort island. We're apparently barbecuing, because Adam is back on the sauce and picking 2000's direct-to-the-$2-Walmart-bin crapshoot Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman! Kick back with a piña colada, soak up the sun, and get pummeled with wave after wave of crushing regret for letting your cohost subject you to this pointless, awful dreck. Just don't engage in any mouth play with your ice cubes or your head might explode on this week's episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The masses have spoken, and we have answered: we bestow upon you a parable of prolonged police persecution in the bustling beaurocracy of the burgeoning Big Apple, also known as 1988's Maniac Cop! Highlights are Bruce Campbell and the lady cop's undercover prostitute hair; definitely not the plot. Cross the thin blue line, thrill me and borrow your cellmate's shank, it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Remember the days when you were scared to use the toilet? When you you were certain there was something evil lurking just below the porcelain bowl, waiting....just waiting...to EAT. YOUR. BUTT. Feels like yesterday to the HMN boys (and probably WAS yesterday for at least one of them). Join them this week as they discuss 1988's Ghoulies II! Bring your drunk uncle, your stripper with a heart of gold, and your bigger monster to defeat the smaller monsters, cuz it's another carnival-themed episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you ready for a group of insufferable teens (?) to get mutilated creatively by a ridiculous plot twist? If not, too bad, because this week, we're talking Killer Karnivals From Outta Jersey, also known as 2006's DARK RIDE! Adam and Scott have so many questions, but Matt and the writers of this film ain't answering. Turn on all the lights, ignore the sticky body fluids that have been spilled all over the floor, and hop on this ride, cuz it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hope you're hungry, because we're serving up a big helping of the grossest stuff you can imagine being spewed into your open mouth with Sam Raimi's delectable 2009 outing, Drag Me To Hell! Does Justin Long redeem himself for his Tusk-y crimes? Find out on this episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes there are directors who truly can do no wrong. Their careers are chock full of great films executed flawlessly... The director of The Exorcist is not one of those people, as evidenced by Adam's pick this week: 1990's baby-stealing opus The Guardian! The guys have a lot of criticism for the 90 minutes of film on either side of the biker gang deaths at the spooky tree, as they're all too jaded to be swayed by baby-crazy naked witches. Come bathe in front of your shirtless employer on a new episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever scraped the bottom of the grease barrel at a minimum-wage, burger-flipping, hate-your-life job? Watching this week's film was a lot like that. The guys chew their way through 2007's killer clown flick Drive Thru, leaving them with a gross taste in their mouths and a case of the runs like you wouldn't believe. Bring your awful fashion choices and inappropriate racial slurs, as we troll an ICP wannabe, cuz that's how we roll on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the guys are digging an oldie but goodie out of the archives and watching from the rafters as their past selves discuss Brian De Palma's inimitable 1974 rock opera Phantom of the Paradise! If you've followed the show in any capacity, odds are you've heard this film brought up at least once, and here is the seed of HMN's collective obsession. Fall in love with Plain Jane, get your teeth knocked out, your voicebox smashed and your face horribly disfigured by a record press, then try to foil your abuser's sexy plot on this week's retroactive episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holy tomato, we're heading back to the days of paper classified ads, genuine interest in music videos, and the seductive lure of satellite television! That's right, we're going intergalactic and eating everything with 1986's TerrorVision. The French exchange student from Better Off Dead, the Wolfman from Monster Squad, and Beef from Phantom of the Paradise do their best to avoid becoming space monster poop, and the HMN guys do their best to find something, anything critical to say about this charming 80s time capsule. Now, mother's going to make you take your pill so we can all enjoy Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever dreamed of your terrible father and stepmother being dismembered by an 8-foot-tall, remorseless teddy bear, then this week's pick is for you! Matt picked Dolls (1987) so that he could talk about how great this early draft of How I Met Your Mother is. He also wanted to talk about the trash punk girls with bad teeth. We think. Hold onto your porcelain eyes, it's another episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today is the one year anniversary of Horror Movie Night, and what better way to celebrate than to frankenstein some of the best moments from past year into a supercut of embarrassment, drunkenness and awkward shouting?! If you're new to the podcast, this is your chance to learn the inside jokes and strange mannerisms of your hosts without slogging through 50 episodes. Sit back, crack a cold one and assume the position - it's Horror Movie Night's first bday! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Episode 50 of Horror Movie Night! We all survived our first year and haven't gone on too many murderous rampages yet, and for our anniversary, we discussed the fantastic camp slasher SLEEPAWAY CAMP from 1983. Matt is overjoyed that he's surrounded by so much young fresh chicken, Scott is hoping to score with counselor Meg on her night off, and Adam is just hanging out in the background pumping iron. Let your hair down and get some head by the lake - it's Horror Movie Night's 50th episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're a regular listener to the show, it's likely you have spent at least one quiet evening at home surrounded by hordes of feral rats. This week is your week, as the guys get torn up by 2003's Willard! Things get Crispin Glover-level weird and everyone thinks of ways to take the air out of their jerk boss's sports car tires- bring some snacks and don't worry about dropping any crumbs (the rat-bros will handle cleanup), it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been fever-dreamed that one of the most beloved horror films of all time got a sequel that was so head-scratchingly bad, the writer/director even apologized for it? Well, we're here to tell you that was no fever-dream, it was Tobe Hooper's insane 1986 bucket of guts and bullshit, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre II! The guys choke down this long-awaited discussion, and try their best to not think too hard on Leatherface's chainsaw hip thrusts. The saw is family on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices