Horror Movie Night

Maybe it's because we're 3 clueless dudes, but does covering up a murder lead to you not washing your hair for a year but still being totally cool with wearing crop tops and belly shirts? We don't know, but these are the hard-hitting questions we aggressively drive towards in this week's discussion of 1997's beautiful-people-screaming-at-nothing-and-quipping-like-it's-a-romcom Kevin Williamson slasher I Know What You Did Last Summer! The best part about this movie is that no matter how many times you watch it, the plot points and character motivations are so inscrutable and inane that your brain doesn't retain much of anything, so the killer's third act reveal is always fresh. Plus everyone is super attractive (except for the actual killer...OR IS IT). Grab your galoshes cuz this flick's slicker than a bucket of lukewarm chum and we're going to chug it on this week's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dracula is alive. In fact, he plans to rule the world and that is why he seeks the help of other legendary monsters. However, a bunch of kids regarded by their peers as losers uncover the devious plan and prepare for a counter strike. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 99 so it should surprise no one that we went with Sleepaway Camp 2, the delightful sequel to episode 50's Sleepaway Camp - now with 100% less baseball montages! SAC2 is arguably less transphobic, less homophobic, and definitely way more boob-filled than its predecessor, but one thing remains the same...Kids these days are only trying to get someone to touch them where they pee. For this sin, all must die. Join us as we decide which grossly inventive kill is the best and wonder how every camper appears to be 25 on this week's episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you like zombie movies? Really? In 2017? Well, OK, but even you will probably be unable to find much of value in this week's pick, the head shakingly odd direct-to-video messtorpiece The Video Dead from 1987. The guys do their best to explain the plot of a relatively plotless film, and ask questions like, "Why don't the zombies actually eat anyone?" and "Are any of these people actors?" Get the dry ice and your grandparents' vacuum tube TV set, because the HMN boys are going to reenact the one good scene from this film on this week's episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

While at Wizard World Matt grabbed a quick chat with Ryan and Andre of Monster Squad and Squadcast. Beyond that He also shares a quick story about meeting Chuck Russell (The Blob, NOES3 Dream Warriors) and how he has no issue killing children in movies. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The late 90s were a simpler time for Americans; we were cool with most of the world and could spend entire summers backpacking across Europe trying to do EXTREEEEEME stunts with our douchey friends and chase foreign tail without fear of incriminating photos being posted on social media. Plus, you could dress like a homeless person and still have a chance at getting laid (thanks Seattle). Yes, the 90s were pretty swell, unless you're Tom Everett Scott in 1997's An American Werewolf in Paris. Or really most of the movies he starred in during this time period. But he did get to make out with Julie Delpy and Liv Tyler, so he had that going for him. In any case, we tackle another questionable werewolf flick this week and spent more time discussing its soundtrack and quoting Dead Man on Campus than anything else, but longtime listeners will be completely unsurprised by this. Check your bungie apparatus, because it's time to get Eiffel Towered on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.

We joke a lot about coke-fueled 80s cinema, but we may have finally found the ultimate example of what a drug fever dream could lead to - 1985's insane lycanthrope 'n little people extravaganza, Howling 2: Your Sister Is A Werewolf! Between the shots of Christopher Lee smirking in a pair of awkward new wave sunglasses, on-top-of-the-clothes love scenes while the whole town smells sex in the air like creeps, werewolf threesomes, threats of forced werewolf oral and possibly pervy gargoyle staffs, Stiran struts around in as little pleather as humanly possible in what looks like reused heavy metal video shoots. This just scratches the surface of the depths this film sinks to, in the most ridiculous ways possible. We hope you like Devo, because the house band sure seems to on this episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some days, life really gets you down. No one believes you're a scientific genius, your coworkers laugh at you, you're chased by the friendliest wild dog ever... All because your mom caught you using your telescope to watching the neighbor girl strip down erotically to 50s music when you were a child. What's a guy to do?! Maybe inject himself with invisibility serum and molest his way through the remedial physics class at the local high school? Yeah, that sounds like a plan! If you haven't guessed, we watched 1990's The Invisible Maniac, and IT. WAS. AMAZING. If you're not hyped for this episode, there's no saving you, so you might as well choke on this subway sandwich here, cuz that's how we roll (while invisible) on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We here at Horror Movie Night understand that our listeners are a diverse group, so what's a little innocent neceophilia between friends? In honor of you delightful deviants, we're talking about arguably the sexiest zombie flick ever - or at least from the 90s - Return of the Living Dead III from 1993! This pick harkens back to our recent commentary track for Bride of Re-Animator, as director Brian Yuzna wanted more screen time for the Bride and wrote this as a sort of spiritual successor. Thanks, Mr. Yuzna, we love ya! Hope you're hungry again, because racist stereotypes and DIY body mods are on the menu for this week's episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As you may have gathered from our Jason Takes Manhattan episode, we did a live taping recently after Monster Mania 36; in the likelihood that you, dear listeners, weren't able to make it to the live show, we were thoughtful/sadistic enough to tape the show, and this week's episode is the second half of our set, in which we lovingly eviscerate 1991's ironically-named "final" installment in the NOES franchise, Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare! The hits come faster and harder than Breckin Meyer doing bong rips, so get yourself a drink and fire up your Powerglove for another episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whoever said that gamer nerds would never live through a horror movie? We're not sure either, but they were pretty spot with their predictions. This week, we are joined by the incredibly knowledgeable Liz Finnegan of The Escapist to discuss Frankie Muniz's agent's terrible decision-making skills and the unbelievable game mechanics In the 2005 video game ghost killer flick Stay Alive. Liz and Adam chew the pixelated fat over horror games while Matt and Scott try to keep up and not sound dumb. It's time for a good old fashioned LAN party, so bring the Doritos and Mountain Dew for this week's episode of Horror Movie Night! Oh, and the virgin blood for the ghost of Madam Bathory, how could we forget? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Friday night, you're a high school football star, and you have a hot date with the pretty-but-takes-no-shit head cheerleader - what do you do?? Probably get eaten within the first 15 minutes by a mutated bacteria that was shot into space and has now crash-landed and gruesomely begun dissolving your friends one by one, that's what... If you haven't guessed, this week's film is none other than the fantastic 1988 remake of The Blob! For once, your hosts are in agreement that this movie rules, and spend most of the episode excitedly fawning over the gross ways the blob digests half the town. If you have the stomach for it, meet us at the local diner, but beware the clogged kitchen sink (that's totally not up to code and we hope they have an inspector come write them up once the blob-crystal cleanup is done but what if the inspector got killed in all of the commotion and now health violations will run rampant?) this week on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We here at Horror Movie Night believe in the sanctity of religion, so on this extra special Easter episode, we want to discuss the holy cycle of death and rebirth by watching a guy in a bunny suit get eaten crotch-first by monster hedgehogs and then crash through a church's stained glass window as parishioners in their Easter best scream in terror. That's right, we're talking about Critters 2 from 1988! What better way to celebrate the end of Lenten fasting than by gorging yourself on humans and the occasional frozen hamburger pile as you and your bros combine to form a gigantic ball of fuzzy murder teeth? Maybe the topless shapeshifting bounty hunter that looks like a Playoy model and has a very phallic-looking laser gun (if you're into that sort of thing). Rejoice, as Crites have risen on this holy day, or (Horror Movie) night, I guess? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If there's one thing the world of horror needs, it's a movie where an undead killer stalks teenagers on a boat that can teleport from a closed lake to the open ocean. Really, there MUST be a market for that, right? To the people clambering for such a film, we bestow upon you this live discussion of Friday the 13th VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), taped at the Brickwall Tavern in Burlington, New Jersey - that's close enough to NYC, right? Matt and Scott are joined by punk rock supervillain Johnny Neutrino, whose last name Matt battles the entire episode. If you missed the HMN crew at Monster Mania 36, here's your chance to get in on that strangely bloodless teen-killing massacre of a weekend. You're at a bar with friends and weirdos are on stage making somewhat inappropriate jokes, better make it a double for this week's (live) episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You ever watch a movie where someone's hand is mutating into a crazy snake monster and just think to yourself, "dude shouldn't have jacked it so much..."? No? Well this week you may find yourself thinking just that as we wrap ourselves around the sequel-in-name-only Curse 2: The Bite (1989). Screaming Mad George isn't a guest on this episode, but Matt does his best impression of him and if you close your eyes and dip your hand in a bowl of room-temperature KY, it feels like he's really there! Bring your weird Amish accent and terrible singing voice, we'll be downing all the fly-beers we can stomach on this week's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lactose intolerant listeners, beware: this movie stinks more then your bedroom at night after drinking a whole milkshake... It's been far too long since our favorite weirdo has graced us with his onscreen presence, so we struggled through Clint Howard's "acting" in 1995's The Ice Cream Man. There's implied cannibalism, malpractice lawsuits everywhere, oh and Cool Chris from Punchline quoting the douchey older brother's best lines! Seriously, Chris Fafalios is our guest, and we're on our best behavior. Kinda. Get your oral fixation under control with a push pop or rocket pop and settle in for another creamy episode of Horror Movie Night! Episode Ends with No Stopping Us off Punchline's album THRILLED Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This St. Paddy's, we're taking a trip to the Emerald Isle to do battle with a pagan wrestling god in the form of a walking dick joke in Clive Barker's second attempt at not getting screwed by a studio - 1986's RAWHEAD REX! The plot is incoherent, the acting abysmal, and the rubber suited monster incredibly ineffectual, but that's all right, because we have a screaming, insane priest chewing every goddamn scene and we're going to take full advantage of the situation. Get ready for your 98 degree baptism, because we drank all the communal wine on this week's episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This past weekend Scott and Matt attended Monster Mania 36 and while we were there decided to record some content. We talk about the convention, interview a girl who made the walrus suit for Tusk and go on Facebook Live. We answer some of your questions on Facebook Live covering such topics as "What would we cosplay as", "Favorite John Cusack movie" and "what horror movie would we turn into a musical". You can only find the answers by listening! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week continues our streak of godawful early 90s sci-fi/horror as we dive brainfirst into a new technology called VIRTUAL REALITY and immediately get to cybering with any warm body nearby. That's right, we're discussing 1992's not-a-Stephen-King-adaption-even-if-the-posters-say-it-is The Lawnmower Man, and we have help from our new buddy, Jesse Cornett! Jesse, or as we like to call him, The Golden Voice, is an established podcaster himself and decided to slumbit with us for 45 minutes as we barely discuss the incomprehensible garbage that constituted a Stephen King adaption in the early 90s. We also discuss Jesse's set-upon wife, who watched this drek with him, and his Kickstarter campaign for an ongoing animated horror anthology show called Chilling Tales For Dark Nights. Come get your mind ripped apart by the Digital Godhead known as Jeff Fahey's hair, and enjoy the soothing tones of Jesse Cornett's Golden Voice on this week's installment of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit me

Get this... sniiiiiff ok, a werewolf, right? With skin as strong as steel! A literal metal beast! Everyone in agreement? Great, let me call my dealer, we're going up need more snow than Aspen to film this... Is probably how storyboarding went for this week's movie, 1995's Project: Metalbeast. Of all the coke-fueled cinematic romps we've endured, this may be both the most absurd AND the most straightforward. Not necessarily a compliment in this context, but we make the most of it, as we always do, so prepare yourself for silver bullets, cryosleep and totally believable scentific advancement of skin graft technology on this episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices