Random Assault

You can't keep two good jagoffs down! Matt and Mitch make their triumphant return with The Career Suicide Podcast! New name, new format, but same basic show. This week on The Career Suicide Podcast, we're basically taking this baby for a test run, as we invite almost all of the regulars on our Discord to call in and say their piece about whatever they feel like! Giant Rat tells some amazing stories about working for the phone company, Dylan convinces us to buy Travis Strikes Again, and we're pretty sure Newt is gonna end up on the news one of these days. Be sure to join us on our Discord server, so you can be on the show too! https://discord.gg/DdryYUd SHOW NOTES: - Matt's workout habits - Blake has a boyfriend - The end of Random Assault - Rat's literally gay telephone story - Red Dead 2 - Shanghai Joe - Chinese racism - Travis Strikes Again - Hellboy - Dad jokes - Messing with Alexa - Marathon - Aquaman - Vento Aureo - New theme song - Glass - Ben Shapiro

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, we bid you all adieu! Bob from Germany joins us on this final episode of Random Assault, to talk about podcasts cucking out and getting soft, Wandersong, and how country girls make do. Don't worry, though. Matt and Mitch will be back in The Career Suicide Podcast! SEGMENT 1: - The last episode - Alexa - The age of entitlement - Podcasts selling out and getting soft - Rage-baiters - YouTube and the algorithm - Pixel horror games SEGMENT 2: - Threesomes - Wandersong - Master System - Mario vs Alex Kidd - The games that started us on this dark path - Castlevania - Smash Bros - Scarface - Nintendo and ROMs - Earthbound - New 3DS - Saboteur - Amiga and chiptunes - Knock Knock - The Missing - Haunting of Hill House and Netflix dramas - Horror flicks - Tiny knives and tattoos - Country girls make do - Cultural differences between Canada, UK, and Germany

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, new listener ZimZam hops on the show right before we have to start shutting this whole thing down! We talk about the sexual chocolate that is Seal, everyone's favorite forsaken internet personalities, and how Randy Newman is gonna take this country back for the white man! SEGMENT 1: - JoJoposting - Vento Aureo - HP Lovecraft's cat - Fanfiction - The Nostalgia Critic - Jontron - Obscure Disney characters - Morrowind - Mass Effect - Our future children - Limp Bizkit - Seal SEGMENT 2: - The show's Twitter - Door-to-door politicians - Facial hair - Record players - Anime - Rick and Morty - They Who Shall Not Be Named - Forsaken internet personalities - Change the Channel - Shrek - Randy Newman, the white supremacist - Antifa - Elon Musk

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, MegalaDan joins us to discuss crossover games, the terror of sleep paralysis, when the critics don't agree with the general audience, and the sexy Japanese Grinch from a forgotten Game Boy Color game! SEGMENT 1: - Urinary tract infection - Healthcare - Wario Land - Pooping at work - The Long Reach - Crossover/fan games SEGMENT 2: - Animal Crossing - LEGO Overwatch - Goblin Slayer - Castlevania - Nightmares and sleep paralysis - The transition to Career Suicide - Animated emoji's - Christmas - Flashdrives SEGMENT 3: - YouTube - Music - Internet history - Star Wars Battlefront 2 - Critics vs audience - Japanese sexy Grinch

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, Mitch and Matt are flying duo as they discuss that terrible Sabrina show on Netflix, the eternal war between LEGO and Playmobil, and how King of the Hill is one of the greatest shows ever made. SEGMENT 1: - LEGO and Playmobil - Halloween - JoJo Part 5 - Smash Direct - Taiko no Tatsujin - Bothering the neighbors - YouTube Poop - Sabrina the Pandering Witch - HP Lovecraft - Holes on radio SEGMENT 2: - King of the Hill - Apu - Shenmue - LEGO Island - Book fairs - You Don't Know Jack

This is a bonus aftershow, recorded after Episode 316: Why My Pee Pee Make Boston Cream? Enjoy!

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, Bombastic Blake joins us again to talk up subjects like the new anime on the block, Castlevania Season 2, Phantasmagoria, and the wonderful world of Source Filmmaker porn! SEGMENT 1: - New anime - Kamen Rider - Witches Brew Frappucino SEGMENT 2: - Castlevania Season 2 - Etika - Smash leaks - SFM porn - Charmed - Phantasmagoria - Miami Connection - Christmas specials - Political stuff

This is a bonus aftershow, recorded after Episode 315: Witch Mask Throat F**k. Enjoy!

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, Chuck (aka Largo) joins us again to talk about Pokemon Sun and Moon, The World Ends With You, dragon dildos, and what our activation phrases might be! SEGMENT 1: - Political assassinations - Pokemon Sun and Moon - Layers of Fear - The World Ends With You - Downwell - Sega AGES - Luigi - Goblin Slayer - Vento Aureo - Nicholas Cage SEGMENT 2: - Xenoblade Chronicles - Records - AVGN - Mitch the detective - Racial casting - Castlevania - Dreams - Dildos SEGMENT 3: - Furries - Doug Walker - Red Letter Media - Bad Dragon - Activation phrases

This is a bonus aftershow, recorded after Episode 314: City Folk. Enjoy!

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, Jamie joins us from across the pond to discuss a whole lot of spooky things, just in time for Halloween! This is totally being uploaded during the month of October 2018, and not the day after Halloween of that same year. We're totally not a month behind on this podcast. No sir-ee Bob. SEGMENT 1: - British dialect - Matt's s**tty day - Scooby-Doo - JoJo - Leprechaun - Halloween Horror Nights - Fortnite costumes - Halloween - Let's players - Voice actors - Wandersong - Lindsey Lohan movies - Gross habits SEGMENT 2: - Microdrift - Skrillex - Podcasts - Vine compilations - Elder Scrolls - Violent games on Wii - City folk - Spooky movies and games - Independence Day - My Bloody Valentine SEGMENT 3: - The Predator - Mandy and Argento homages - Spiders - Nintendo waifus - Pokemon - The state of comedy

This is a bonus aftershow, recorded after Episode 313: When I Cum Abroad, I Get on a Big Boat. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: THIS EPISODE IS HIGHLY VISUAL-BASED, AS IT INVOLVES A LOT OF VACATION PICTURES. IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT YOU LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE TO GET THE FULL EXPERIENCE. This week on the Random Assault Podcast, it's a heartfelt reunion, as Alex joins us to talk about his vacation in glorious Nippon! Kate also stops by to witness the weebery! Come with us on a whirlwind tour of the sights and sounds of Tokyo, Osaka, and Kyoto! Bear witness to the beauty of Engrish shirts! Wonder at how Alex and his girlfriend somehow completely missed the typhoon!

This is a bonus aftershow, recorded after Episode 312: Cucking is my business... and business is good! Enjoy!

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, we accidentally double-booked our guests, so we're joined by both Bombastic Blake and MegalaDan! Dan shares some great Star Wars Galaxies stories, Blake shares his Grindr horror stories, and Mitch gets into Megadeth. Nice story... tell it to Reader's Digest! SEGMENT 1: - Broadcasting - Star Wars Galaxies - Baahubali - Adventures in Grindr - Blake's stream SEGMENT 2: - Destiny 2 - Mega Man - Stands - Cartoons - Sonic SEGMENT 3: - Vince McMahon - Megadeth - Horror movies from childhood - Cuckery - Dating sims - YouTube recommendations - Discord drama - Nintendo Direct - Rose City Comic-Con

This is a bonus aftershow, recorded after Episode 311: Phil Dies Live On Air. Enjoy!

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, Phil-Angie joins us once again to discuss his crippling Fortnite addiction, how Naughty Dog is bad at making games, and then his dad rips him out of the podcast, so Mitch and Matt discuss things like Streets of Rage 4 and the movie Society. SEGMENT 1: - Bojack Horseman ripped off Phil - Holidays - Pokemon - Naughty Dog is bad at making games - Spyro Reignited Trilogy - House Party - Delayed Nintendo Direct - Death Grips and stupid songs SEGMENT 2: - Dead by Daylight - Discord - Adventure Time finale - High Guardian Spice - Trigun - Destiny SEGMENT 3: - Society (the movie, not the place we live in) - Streets of Rage 4

This is a bonus aftershow, recorded after Episode 310: Tricum. Enjoy!

This week on the Random Assault Podcast, listener Brooks returns to talk about metal bands, bad anime, and living in the hellscape that is Pennsylvania. Mitch complains about Uncharted, and Matt rockets his unborn into the night sky with the announcement of Simon Belmont for Smash! (You can tell we recorded this like, a month ago, huh?) SEGMENT 1: - 311 - Trigun - Outlaw Star - Huniepop 2 - Smash Bros Direct - Uncharted - Living in Amish country - Pennsylvania stories - Sucking your own dick SEGMENT 2: - Coming out - Music talk - Podcasts are dumb - Disenchanted - Hardcore Henry - Graffiti Kingdom - Castle Rock SEGMENT 3: - The worst anime - Anime games - More anime

This is a bonus aftershow, recorded after Episode 309: I'M CUMMING. Enjoy!