Best Frenemies

Johnny and Christopher are dropping this episode to shut up their “fans” who take pleasure in harassing them to put out more episodes. Shut up already! Johnny and Christopher have lives. They do stuff. You’ll get the damn episode when you get the damn episode. They give their Top 5 bald people (Christopher thinks it is funny that he doesn’t make Johnny’s list). They discuss the Paramount+ series The Offer. And they recommend some stuff. 

Johnny makes it clear that this episode is late because of Christopher. While Christopher will not confirm nor deny this charge, it was his fault because he has a job and stuff. The boys give their Top 5 conspiracy theories, they discuss HBO Max’s Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty, and they recommend some stuff. 

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known that Johnny is why this episode is so late! Christopher was ready to rock ‘n’ roll, but Johnny always had a reason for shining recording (those Tinder dates aren’t going to date themselves). In this late episode, the boys give the Top 5 celebrities they’ve met. They discuss the television and comic book series Deadly Class. And they recommend some stuff. 

Johnny and Christopher finally do their first episode of the new year. It’s been a month since they released a new episode, or, put another way, Johnny has gone on 27 Tinder dates during that time. The boys give their Top 5 cheesy things they own. They discuss the new season of Cobra Kai and the new series Peacemaker. As always, they recommend some stuff. Christopher thinks Johnny is suffering from atrophy from his long sabbatical from working. If interested in joining the intervention for Johnny, drop us a line at bestfrenemies69@gmail.com. 

Johnny and Christopher squeak in an end-of-year episode. You’re welcome! They give their Top 5 favorite fight scenes. They discuss all their homies who were promoted to black belts. And they recommend some stuff. 2022 is right around the corner, and it’s going to be a challenging time for Johnny because he will have to get a job. Our thoughts and prayers go out to him in this trying time. If you’d like to contact Johnny with words of encouragement, shoot him an email at bestfrenemies69@gmail.com.

This is our special Thanksgiving episode, but we don’t mention anything about the holiday because Johnny and Christopher are way too self-centered to be troubled with Thanksgiving. Christopher is thankful that he’ll be out of town and won’t have to deal with Johnny over the holiday. Johnny is thankful for home STD tests. The boys do Top 5 animals they wish they were. They discuss the television show Yellowstone. And they recommend some stuff. As always, Johnny is whining that I put our email address here: bestfrenemies69@gmail.com. 

Johnny and Christopher find time in their busy schedules to record a new episode. All the Tinder profiles aren’t going to swipe right without Johnny’s help, and Christopher and the Utah Jazz took the summer off to think about their relationship, but they’re back together and trying to make it work. The boys give their Top 5 teams/players/fans they hate. They discuss the new Dune. And they recommend some stuff. Johnny is being a little bitch and demanding our email go in this blurb: bestfrenemies69@gmail.com. Please send us an email saying how much Johnny annoys you. 

After getting harassed by their most loyal fans, Johnny and Christopher grudgingly recorded a new episode. This is episode 60! Holy crap! Sixty episodes of gibberish. They do Top 5 Chris and Johhnys who are better than the Best Frenemies. Johnny thinks it’s funny that Chris’ favorite movie is about music—Almost Famous; they discuss the 20-year-old film for no particular reason. And they recommend some stuff.  Download for free on iTunes, Spotify, and GooglePlay. 

Well, well, well, look who got promoted to black belts. Johnny might be the first person promoted to black belt who felt he deserved it. This episode clocks in over an hour because Johnny and Christopher talk about themselves. They do top 5 excuses, and then they recommend some stuff. Please hit them up with questions and suggestions at bestfrenemies69@gmail.com. 

Johnny and Christopher sit down with their Jiu-Jitsu professor Tainan Dalpra, who is a world-class Jiu-Jitsu competitor and all-around good guy—two things Johnny and Christopher are not. They give their Top 5 emotional scenes from movies, making the Best Frenemies come across as emotionally fragile. And they recommend some stuff.   

Johnny and Christopher are trying to get their act together to get more podcasts out to their tens of fans. In this episode, their friend Jean Patrol is mentioned twice. He claims he's from Brazil, but they have reason to believe he’s French Canadian. He’s worried being mentioned on the podcast will make people not like him “like how they don’t like Johnny and Christopher” (See?! He’s rude like a Frenchman.) The boys do Top 5 white trash guilty pleasures. They discuss the FloGrappling series Daisy Fresh: An American Jiu-Jitsu Story. They recommend some stuff. Johnny was a little put off by all the dick pics to his email, so they have a new email: bestfrenemies69@gmail.com.

Johnny and Christopher are back after an unplanned hiatus. A lot has happened. The Utah Jazz are still in the playoffs. Johnny is requesting dick pics be emailed to him at johnny.c5678@gmail.com (or a listener who doesn’t know Johnny or Christopher, please send a note telling us who you are). In this episode, they do Top 5 hobbies they should have started instead of Jiu-Jitsu. They discuss the FX show Mr. Inbetween. And they recommend some stuff. Download for free at iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, and Amazon’s Audible.

Johnny and Christopher are coming in hot like an elderly couple making a run at the local joint for the early bird special. Top 5 things they love AND hate about the NBA season this year. They discuss the Hulu documentary Sasquatch. They recommend some stuff. Christopher proves he’s a #musichead by correctly guessing the 8-bit opening song—it was quite the moment.

Johnny and Christopher prove once again they will butcher most last names when they welcome brothers Alexis and Gustavo Fonseca of Autore Jiu-Jitsu. Top 5 things you wish your younger self knew. They recommend some stuff. And Prof Jeff drops by for #Comichead. Full disclosure: There aren’t any hoes in this episode unless you lump Johnny into this category. Christopher can’t be considered a hoe because his recent vasectomy won’t allow it—he’s a little too tender for hoeing.

Johnny and Christopher are back after a month's hiatus because Johnny couldn’t get his act together. Seriously, Christopher is over him canceling times to record. Worst podcast partner ever. It’s fitting Top 5 insults is on this episode. They discuss Nico Walker’s novel Cherry that’s been adapted into an Apple TV movie. They recommend some stuff.

Johnny and Christopher are back and show their singing range during the Top 5 best karaoke songs. They are seriously considering bringing back their band, the “Sh&tty Triangles.” They discuss the new Netflix series Murder Among Mormons. They recommend some stuff. And they record one of their worst segments to date with the return of Sebastian.

Johnny and Christopher are back from their winter hiatus to ring in 2021! Hopefully, this year won’t suck like 2020. In this episode, they give Top 5 annoying things about the pandemic. They discuss the recently released Ernest Cline novel Ready Player 2. Ms. Jamie Reese stops by to defend herself from Johnny’s airing of grievances. And they recommend some stuff.

This is the 50th episode! How did that happen? Let’s be honest: Nobody thought Johnny and Christopher would release five episodes, much less 50. Well, screw our doubters! In this episode, the boys give their Top 5 Metallica songs. They discuss the television series Yellowstone. And they recommend some stuff. Also, they agree Boba Fett is dead and hasn’t returned from the Sarlacc Pit. Furthermore, they decide the Utah Jazz will win the 2021 NBA Championship.

Johnny and Christopher outdo themselves in this episode. They discuss the new Bravo series The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Really? Whose idea was that? What’s next? Keeping up with the Kardashians? Their loyal listeners are well within their rights to never listen to this podcast ever again. I’d love to claim they redeem themselves with the Top 5 movies they wish were real, except Johnny has Twilight on his list. You know, the tween love triangle story between vampires and werewolves. Jesus. Your estrogen levels are going to spike listening to this episode. Maybe Prof Jeff will add much-needed testosterone when he stops by for #comichead. What’re Johnny and Christopher going to recommend? Midol?

Johnny and Christopher bring you a very Australian episode. A shoutout to Christopher, who worked through some Aussie issues; he harbors resentments with Qantas flight crews and one Australian jiu-jitsu professor who antagonizes his foot lock game (the professor will remain nameless). The boys give their Top 5 favorite Australians. They eat a slew of Aussie treats Juggs sent them. And they recommend some stuff. Full disclosure: Johnny and Christopher go off on some tangents, but that’s fitting for this episode because Australians are always going off the rails.