Spoilerpiece Theatre

Sean Burns joins Evan and Kris this week, vowing to up the episode’s profanity quotient since he’s filling for Dave. But Evan does a pretty good job of that himself, cursing out M. Night Shyamalan’s found footage horror film THE VISIT. Although Evan can’t stand the movie, Kris doesn’t actually hate everything about it and manages to sell Sean on seeing it. After they get through that slog, Sean talks about how entertaining Lily Tomlin is in GRANDMA and how crazy it was seeing her around Sundance with Jane Fonda. Then he wraps everything up with 90 MINUTES IN HEAVEN, the boring Christian film that stars Hayden Christensen with a creepy mustache and drawl. How boring is it? Sean needed three tries to get through it without falling asleep. Given its lack of excitement, it’s not surprising that the guys end up hitting a number of tangents instead of discussing the movie in depth.

This week, the guys develop a new expression after Dave shares how common his last name is in Indiana. Then he leads off with his take on Alex Gibney’s documentary STEVE JOBS: THE MAN IN THE MACHINE, which he alternatively dubs THE MAN IN THE MIDDLE. Then Kris discusses how THE TRANSPORTER: REFUELED has more memorable product placement than fight scenes before Dave dives into the Korean action film A HARD DAY. In the process of talking about it, he realizes that he probably should watch more Korean movies. Last, but not least, Evan closes things out by pondering the inexplicable age gap between the characters in A WALK IN THE WOODS and their real life counterparts. He also laments its total lack of conflict, while simultaneously celebrating Nick Nolte’s performance in it.

The guys open this week’s episode with a discussion on Deez Nuts’s candidacy for president. Then Kris and Evan rip into WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, which they agree does NOT star Zac Efron as a young Robert Loggia. Their agitated commentary is enough to leave Dave “slack-jawed and open-mouthed.” After Kris expresses confusion over more celebrities (this time Brian Austin Green and Ian Ziering), Dave takes over to share his thoughts on two fucking horrible movies. First up is TEN THOUSAND SAINTS, where the most interesting character dies 15 minutes in and Ethan Hawke plays almost the same character he did in BOYHOOD. Second is DIGGING FOR FIRE, one of the whitest movies Dave has ever seen. Joe Swanberg’s film is about dull white people with dull white people problems, and it’s so bad that it makes Dave’s soul die a little bit.

Movies like woah on this week’s Spoilerpiece. First, Evan teases the book about 80s films that he’s been working on with his friend Bryan Krull, prompting a deeper conversation on 80s movies. Then Dave shares his thoughts on THE TRIBE because he finally saw it. Evan’s up next to talk about how THE GIFT subverts expectations before Dave goads him into spoiling the movie’s big twist. After that, Evan and Kris discuss why they weren’t fans of AMERICAN ULTRA (hint: it’s about a stoner secret agent and plotted like a stoner wrote it). Dave follows up by quickly exploring why PEOPLE PLACES THINGS is so sluggish and by-the-numbers. And last, but not least, Kris reviews CALL ME LUCKY, a great documentary by Bobcat Goldthwait about Boston comedian and activist Barry Crimmins.

Dave is back again on this week’s Spoilerpiece (which makes two weeks in a row)! The fellas talk about silly t-shirts they wish they could own, including one in particular that Kris wanted as a kid. Then the guys take on a bumper crop of movies. Kris and Evan are up first with their thoughts on Guy Ritchie’s hyper-styled adaptation of THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E, which has a great performance by Armie Hammer and one of the worst car chases Kris has ever seen. Dave delivers praise for PHOENIX, while wondering what the plural of the word is (phoenices?). Once he’s done talking up the film’s perfectly composed photography, interesting post-World War II story, and its Hitchcock-ian flavor, Evan and Kris round things out with STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON. Both of them discuss why they love the movie (because fuck the po-lice) and how its casting is fantastic.

On this week’s episode Kris shares his plans to weaponize peeing babies with Dave and Evan, before Evan tears FANTASTIC FOUR a new one. The film is terrible in many ways, but Evan just can’t let go of one particularly obnoxious plot hole. After the three of them engage in some Tenacious D-inspired swearing, Dave talks about SHAUN THE SHEEP, a delightful movie that everyone should see. Kris then discusses how Meryl Streep’s Republican grocery store cashier safely rebels through rock music in the confusing RICKI AND THE FLASH. Somehow that leads to Dave and Evan singing about squirrels. Finally, Evan closes everything out with THE STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT, a picture that would work better as a documentary, rockumentary, or shockumentary than the flat, repetitive narrative that it is. For some reason all the roads lead back to urine and squirrels in this episode.

Boston podcast legend Steve Head from the Post-Movie Podcast and Diabolique Webcast almost gets stuck in cement on his way to join Evan and Kris for this week’s episode. After he and Evan swap SIMPSONS references, Steve shares some of his famous stories from working in the film industry. Then the three of them discuss MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION’s exciting set pieces, its fantastic female lead Rebecca Ferguson, record store names, why Tom Cruise probably works out like gerbil, and how the film series is just a chance for Cruise to show off. Kris spends some time talking about how Woody Allen’s latest film is “all over the fuckin’ place,” which somehow leads to tangents about Wikipedia and Paul Feig, before he wraps things up with a quick summary of Joshua Oppenheimer’s documentary THE LOOK OF SILENCE, a companion to his doc THE ACT OF KILLING.

This week Dave tells everyone more about why he loves HIDING OUT with John Cryer and poses an interesting theory about Jim Carrey before Kris shares that he was wearing flannel before it was cool. Evan kept his promise to see THE TRIBE so he can’t wait to share his thoughts about how fucked up its graphic scenes of violence and sex are. Then he tries to summarize the plot for PIXELS, while explaining how terrible it is to Dave and Kris. Thankfully Kris shifts momentum to discuss SOUTHPAW, which is about a boxer who isn’t a southpaw, but he does have his own entourage. Dave wraps up the episode by reviewing INFINITELY POLAR BEAR, a film he enjoyed where Mark Ruffalo plays the kind of bipolar father who tells rivers to go fuck themselves.

Fan favorite Dede Crimmins from All Things Horror and Cinematic Essential joins Evan and Kris in this week’s episode. The three of them reminisce about QUANTUM LEAP and UNSOLVED MYSTERIES before Dede discusses her upcoming trip to the Fantasia International Film Festival. Once Kris and Evan recover from the recover from hearing the number of movies she plans to see, they ask her about some her favorites from the festival. Among them are DEATHGASM, SUBURBAN GOTHIC, and ABSENTIA. First, they cover Amy Schumer’s comedy TRAINWRECK, which is formulaic but a consistently funny human experience. After they get a chance to discuss Judd Apatow’s shortcomings they move on to reviewing Marvel’s ANT-MAN, a heist flick that’s also a superhero movie. Kris thinks it has a breeziness that’s been desperately lacking in Marvel movies. Evan and Dede agree, while adding that Paul Rudd has evolved from just a pretty face into the total package as an actor.

This week Spoilerpiece turns 1 year old AND Dave is back! The guys talk about whether it’s okay for him to make "Your Mom Jokes" now that he is a dad. Then Dave jumps into STRANGERLAND, which he dubs “the cinematic equivalent to spit up.” He jokes about how acting skills don’t run in the Fiennes family and wonders how Nicole Kidman is still making movies considering she hasn’t had a good one since 2004’s BIRTH. Dave did see something good though: A PIGEON SAT ON A BRANCH RELFECTING ON EXISTENCE, which has a terrible title but a really interesting premise. Evan covers MINIONS, a film that stars characters who work better in small doses. Finally Kris wraps up the show by reviewing MR. HOLMES, where an elderly Sherlock Holmes has a housekeeper that’s definitely NOT Scottish and he flashes back without acid. Stick around after the closing music for an added bonus.

Jaskee Hickman of Cinematic Essential joins Evan and Kris this week to talk about Russian jokes gone awry before jumping into MAGIC MIKE XXL and TERMINATOR GENISYS. No one knows whether MAGIC MIKE XXL should be pronounced “ex-ex-el” or “double ex-el,” but either way Kris makes it sound like a fun movie ‘for people who want to watch the guys be awesome sexy dancer dudes.” Then the three of them examine TERMINATOR GENISYS. Evan asks nagging questions about various plot points, Kris confuses Matt Smith with Matt Walsh, and Jaskee talks about the parts that worked for him. Everything wraps up with tangents about DVD menus and what other movies we’re looking forward to this summer.

Megan Kearns from Bitch Flicks joins Kris and Evan on this week's episode to lament HANNIBAL's cancellation by NBC before Evan shares a story about Mads Mikkelsen using his creeping powers for good. Then Kris and Megan give him the lowdown on TED 2, which Kris says is filled with "uncomfortable sincerity, along with a lot of failed jokes." After that Evan and Megan talk about how much they enjoyed Queen Latifah and Mo'Nique's performances in the HBO biopic BESSIE. Kris follows up with a brief interlude about foam penises and failed orgies in THE OVERNIGHT. Finally, Megan brings everything together with Kate Winslet's A LITTLE CHAOS, which she appreciates for showing more than telling.

Charlie Nash of Movie Mezzanine, Edge on the Net, All Things Horror, and Cinematic Essential joins Evan and Kris this week to take on INSIDE OUT, DOPE, and ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL. The guys start by bitching about jerks who spoil GAME OF THRONES before they share why Pixar’s film INSIDE OUT moved them to tears. All three enjoyed it so much that they can’t think of a single bad thing to say about it. Next up, Kris and Charlie summarize DOPE, while attempting to separate its promising parts from the misfires it makes and detours it takes. Then they wrap things up with the abhorrent ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL, a picture that’s so bad it makes Kris angry for once. He and Charlie spoilerpiece what makes it so awful for Evan, which gives him some pretty awful ideas of his own for what to do with it when it comes out on DVD.

The one and only Bob Chipman aka “Movie Bob” joins Evan and Kris for this week’s episode about JURASSIC WORLD and THE CONNECTION. First up is a game of “Get to Know Your Guest Host,” where Bob shares how he got into reviewing movies. After that Bob and Kris spoilerpiece JURASSIC WORLD, a film that Bob enjoyed despite its silliness. Just how silly is it? Well, there are weaponized dinosaurs and Chris Pratt basically plays “Velociraptor Dundee.” After Bob and Kris get all the spoiling out of their systems, Evan fills them in on THE CONNECTION, a movie which feels like the French version of Michael Mann’s HEAT. Chekhov’s Gun discussions and Indiana Jones references are in ample supply, as are tangents about BLOWN AWAY and THE GODFATHER.

Before he escapes Boston for NYC, Sam Cohen makes his first ever podcast appearance as the special guest on this week’s episode. Being the yougin’ that he is, Sam shares his experience watching BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA for the first time. The guys discuss its impending remake along while comparing Kurt Russell and The Rock. Then Sam tells Kris and Evan about Cameron Crowe’s degeneration as a filmmaker with his nonsensical movie ALOHA. None of them know what a gate opening ceremony is or how music by David Bowie can blow up a satellite, but apparently both are important plot elements. Thankfully Kris and Sam saw SPY, which pleasantly surprised both of them. After they tell Evan all about why he should see it, he and Sam finish up the show by talking about KURT COBAIN: MONTAGE OF HECK. Want to find out why the documentary gave Evan all the feels? Then tune in.

Longtime listener Sean Burns joins Kris and Evan as the special guest on this week’s episode! The guys talk about remakes like POINT BREAK and why one particular remake made Sean wish he was fired earlier from a gig. Kris leads things off by describing how Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson fights the elements in the disaster flick SAN ANDREAS, a movie which quintuples down on bad science and plot. Then Sean spoils the trippy biopic SAINT LAURENT aka “the gay DOORS.” He couldn’t get enough of its sex, drugs, and fashion. To round out the show Evan and Sean spill the beans on the Michael Fassbender western SLOW WEST. Bon Jovi references, tales of an epic last half hour, and comparisons to both pizza and sex feature prominently in this segment before Sean and Kris do some last-minute griping about ME, EARL, and THE DYING GIRL.

This week the Spoilerpiece Hotline receives a call from Dave?! He has a special message for our listeners, so please excuse the audio quality. Then guest Dede Crimmins joins Evan and Kris to talk about the MAD MEN series finale, the state of horror movies in 2015, and the Brad Bird film TOMORROWLAND starring George Clooney. If you don't want MAD MEN spoilers, fast forward to 13:20, where you’ll hear Dede tell the guys about 2015’s hits and misses in horror. You can also learn the plural of Duplass and why THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE is “the most tasteful ass to mouth you can find in the theatre.” While talking about horror, the gang swaps stories about movies that scared each of them growing up and Dede shares how she got into writing about horror. Everything gets wrapped up with discussion about TOMORROWLAND, which everyone thought was an overbearing pessimistic film with delusions of Randian and Orwellian grandeur.

This week Evan debates wearing a G-string while discussing MAGIC MIKE with Kris. Sadly, Dave has a last-minute change of plans and can’t make it, leaving Kris and Evan quite literally to their own devices. This leads to some slight audio issues (sorry if you hear a minor buzz at points), but the guys soldier on to talk about how holy-shit, fuckin’ amazing MAD MAX: FURY ROAD is before they explore the strange similarities between PITCH PERFECT 2 and THE WARRIORS. Finally, they end up randomly referencing Joe Piscopo in JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY. Once…just once.

This week Kris starts off by recommending a title for Dave's autobiography. Dave gets a good laugh out of that before explaining why he doesn't watch bad '80s John Travolta movies (except "Urban Cowboy") and why Debra Winger is one of his least favorite onscreen presences. After that he talks about how "Hot Pursuit" tries to subvert buddy comedy cliches and fails. In the process, Kris describes how he got accidentally hooked on "The New Girl." Then he and Evan talk about the layers and complexity in "Far from the Madding Crowd" that make it such an enjoyable film. Finally, Dave wraps things up with his take on "Playing it Cool," a romantic comedy which has some decent moments, but mostly gets demerits from him for "being dumb as shit."

This week the guys all agree that they would be better off never seeing another Adam Sandler movie after discussing Dave's op ed on Sandler's project THE RIDICULOUS 6. Then they move on to talking about THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON, which Evan forgets to refer to by its full name. Dave likes the film a lot, but Evan and Kris have some issues with it. Next, Dave fills them in on Alex Garland's EX MACHINA, leading Kris to wonder aloud "Why does a robot have a butt?" No one really has a good answer other than sexism. Finally, Kris wraps up by talking about stuff he caught at IFFBoston like WELCOME TO LEITH, CALL ME LUCKY, and THE TRIBE. One of these films almost made Kris lose his burrito dinner because it was "astounding, gripping, and holy shit disturbing." Tune in to find out which one it is.