Full 90 - Extra Time

Who knew that the best defense was not playing defense at all?! Turns out single-elimination soccer is super fun (and terrifying but mostly fun), especially when you unleash the choo-choo. This week, Sounders could pull the plug on Rimando’s career if anyone is still able to walk after 420 minutes of soccer on Saturday. Bring your kids, bring your wives, because Utah’s in town. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, the Sounders go into the SINGLE ELIMINATION playoffs on the back of two 1-0 wins, but more importantly, Jordan Morris might own Cuba now? Frisco, Texas, is a place where both GI Joe Cobra and Cobra Kai live (and apparently are beloved) and Canada is a place where the gravy is king!  Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to Turfboni, let’s rub some grass. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Say no to kids robbing you, and yes to Roman Torres! Nico’s beard gets the attention it deserves, and we preview the infinite void created by the small vacuum that are international breaks before the postseason begins. As our players travel far and wide through the infinite, unending space (and Sweden), we celebrate Kelvin Leerdam winning the inaugural Golden Clog! Don’t tweet, and don’t get fired. See you never! See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ozzie Alonso’s force ghost is back and he has a chip on his shoulder. Sounders sneak away from the Longest (not underwater) bar in North America because of Jordan Morris’ sexy feet, and they need three points to secure second in the west. Arreaga has a case of the soft reds (hey, Pepto Bismol) just in time for our Big Boi’s LITERALLY historic dreads to return to action. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sounders FC are in Pemco commercial standoff “you have the last piece, no really I mean it, you sure? Does anyone else want it? No no I’m actually full anyway, are you for real sure?” fight for a spot in the playoffs with six other teams. Seattle travels to the Longest Outdoor Bar in North America Stadium to find a Mai Tiebreaker and we are forced to get serious...AGAIN. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The army of clones in Rave Green march their way back home to decisively (and terrifyingly) beat the Red Bulls, but it’s the next few that count. We talk fans leaving, V-Rod coming back, and the weird feels of a quiet stadium. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A ragtag group of children go to Colorado and get beat by a bleached brazilian who may or may not have a brazilian. We join Fan Outrage to get mad at international breaks and talk about just how much the next 5 matches mean for the Sounders. Buckle up, because Wavictor Wadriguez has the wheel, and who knows what New York is bringing. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A ragtag group of children go to Colorado and get beat by a bleached brazilian who may or may not have a brazilian. We join Fan Outrage to get mad at international breaks and talk about just how much the next 5 matches are for the Sounders. Buckle up, because Wavictor Wadriguez has the wheel, and who knows what New York is bringing. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Just like Sumo in September, we’re back! Just in time to see LITERALLY (not literally) EVERY PLAYER leave. Sounders break out the jazz piano for Kitman to play left back (‘member when we had 3?) and Cristian Roldan is best friends with Ciara. Colorado is bad, but Hey baby, they hear the blues a-callin' Tossed salads and scrambled eggs with their new coach. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yes, we had THAT conversation. Could you fire your own dad? Sounders‘ new dad is Zlatan and they are one bad result from being below the line. Cascadia Cup is up for grabs as Sounders travel to a LITERAL butt to play the Timbers, a team they haven’t beat this year. Don’t buy Timber Joey’s Etsy wares. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Russell Wilson completes takeover of Seattle buying part of the Sounders from Joe Roth, which paves the way for linebacker Roman Torres. Listen to Ciara do 1-2 Step-overs while figuring who exactly owns the Sounders now and if we should be cool with this. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sounders are facing the two biggest matches of the season and could end up anywhere between second and eighth depending on how it goes. Fan Outrage is BACK and it’s pissed about three matches in eight days. Sounders made two new signings, and playing FIFA might have told us how the next two matches go (hint: Nouhou hat trick) See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No more GAM or TAM, it’s all about what we do with the BAM. Roman Torres got Samurai Jacked and now the Sounders back line us up against it this week. Bruce and the Revolution visit to make Doves Cry. Revs are heading up as Sounders head down, it’ll be a match that could show for both teams what they have in the tank for the rest of the season. Buckle up and  drink your pickle juice, and pray to Brad Evans’ force ghost. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have we seen the last of Brad Bradsmith? Sounders get three points in Houston with a Jordan Morris sombrero, and another dude coming untucked, but next up it’s some people from Kansas (or Missouri who tf knows) with a weird old mascot! A new signing could be on the way, but that could mean the end is nearing for our big Swede. Preview the Sporks with us and our Crystal Pepsi Ball! See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hint - if you see a Portland goalkeeper outside the CenturyLink parking garage, tell him he sucks. We preview the match against Houston who are doing an opposite Sounders, but who effing cares we’re all still mad about last week. Where is Arreaga? Can we all do karate like Zlatan? Buy Clint Dempsey’s house! See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Sounders play moneybald and it pays off against Atlanta. Learn German and why Harry Shipp is the Charlie Day of Seattle as we break down why Fartland sucks and you NEVER LEAVE AT HALFTIME. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sounders are back in Seattle and we burned down an apartment! Not really, but it was close. Seattle faces Atlanta who are playing outside the comfort of Megatron’s Butthole where they haven’t fared too well. Transfer window talk, Cridan Mordan is back, and congrats USWNT who deserve to be the drunkest people ever! Also. sup Brian? See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Seattle Defiance FC are ok at soccer, but not too great at baseball it turns out. To their own demise, they did not take our advice and start Big Boi up top, or start anybody we thought they would for that matter. Off to Columbus to face an angry toddler coaching a bunch of dudes who may or may not have lost their last 6 (or 7) and still employ Gyasi Zardes. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Seattle packing up the Young Boi's and sending em to the big city in hopes of some road points. At least one extra "forward" will be available... See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Sounders’ designated survivor Alfonso Ocampo-Chavez is the last forward left on the roster, and he’s our only hope as the Sounders host Whitecaps in the Chad Marshall Memorial Cup (He’s not dead, just dead to us). Now that he’s retired, can Gregr borrow his hamstrings for karate? Stefan Frei is amped after seeing Aerosmith in Vegas, let’s hope this weekend, he doesn't "...want to miss a thing.” See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices