Full 90 - Extra Time

Is time real? Are birds real? Is any of this world real? Harry Shipp left the Sounders to go wrestle with some of life’s existential questions and left the rest of us behind IN ORLANDO WITH CALEB PORTER. Sounders sign two new players, but really they just signed one really tall man who is 100% definitely old enough to buy beer. You can tell by his mustache. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Quick, three beers! The New Episode of Full 90 Soccer Time Tournament is back and we are taking a look at all groups of the MLS is Back tournament, except stupid boring group A, which sucks. We STILL don’t know how to watch the soccer, but the soccer is coming. We also discovered a lizard bird, so you’re welcome.   See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dallas, Vancouver, and San Jose all walk into an Orlando for some freaky group stuff with Seattle, Fartland gets picked last, and we’re going to tell Group F we are just going out for a pack of smokes then leave them in Florida. MLS is Back Tournament draw is...back? No Gregr, so go give us 69 stars on iTunes k thx. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

MLS is Back and Chicago finally has a chance to win the World Cup. Scuba Steve knows that July and August could spell disaster for the Sounders, but we’ll all be up at 6am to see how it goes. Would you want to see this tournament every year? Also, hot jaw massage! See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our DEFINITELY weekly look into Seattle Sounders FC. We could be getting close to an MLS return unless players and the league can’t figure out who gets Danny Leyva in the custody battle and how to spend as little time in Orlando as possible. Also, find out which stadium in California is certified for you to do your business in! See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Times are bleak when even our biggest-bois can’t compete. If one player were to have no impulse control and get a face tattoo, we all know who it would be. Somehow we got Roger Levesque to talk to us this week, but you have to sit through our insufferable bits before you get to hear him. Sit down, tune in, and draw us like one of your French girls. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, this was uploaded to the wrong feed so it never went live here. Good job, Gregr. We don’t know when we’ll soccer again, but we do know that Sumo has not, will not, and shant ever let us down. This week on Full 90 Sumo Time we talk favorite wrestlers in no particular order, why we should glorify their fatness, and we give the well deserved shoutouts to David’s mom, Dijanet. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Seattle’s third most famous celebrity joins Full 90 Soccer Time this week as we break down the hottest soccer league hopefully getting some of that foreign royalty cash. Quarantine has made us terrible at small talk, but great at joking about the inevitability of our eventual death, so we have that going for us. Please bring soccer back so we have something to talk about.    See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you miss sports? Do you miss haircuts? We can’t fix either of those things, but we can make dildo jokes and talk about Nico’s new facial hair. We’re all trying to make sense of the world and our new lives right now, and we can’t fix the sports thing, but come goof around with us for a few minutes and we hope it makes your day a bit better. Stay safe. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Coronavirus has postponed the MLS season, at least for now, but what will the state of the league be after 30 days, and do we all need to buy bidets? The 25th season of MLS will be one we’ll never forget, but probably not for the reasons they wanted. Wipe your butts, wash your hands, and stay away from us for this special edition pod that no one asked us to record. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’ve been practicing mandatory social distancing for years! This week on the pod, we learn about the fat slap, Branden’s Green birthday, and Miguel Ibarra learning to do the robot. Nouhou becomes the chaos and earns a point, and our Scottish Sounders are getting all the red cards. You’re going to need a fat slap after this weekend’s pie day match. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Japan found the cure for coronavirus*, injury (duty) issues are already a concern, and finally Branden can stop with the fear poops - it's a good thing because Seattle bought up all the toilet paper in the region. Does anyone need any left shoes? Bonus points if you score a goal involving the Crew Coach who smells like farts (probably). Also, how'd Jordan Morris get so thicc? *Japan didn't find ****. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sounders FC legend, Brad Evans, took a year with his wife to hop in the airstream and see all the parks. He's back with Sounders FC as a brand ambassador #BrandEvans and judging by this chat, he's gonna kill it. What jersey should we buy? Why is Champions League important ($$$)? What team did Brad almost single handedly fight? See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

While the hype train pulls from the station fresh with a second star painted on the coal car, another season is about to swing into action in Pierce County. Tacoma Defiance look to generate a little upward momentum this season after finishing so strong in 2019. Dave is a chief content creator and Defiance stat machine for the USL squad but also is well known for founding Sounder at Heart - the biggest source of passion driven Sounders FC content. He's back and just the best! Defiantly #notgarbage. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Like that annoying alarm clock that starts screaming at you to let you know the off-season is over, WE’RE BACK! With an off-kilter star on our chest and a fast-food milkshake all over our big bellies, we break down all the new signings, sacrificing one trophy for another, and you don’t get to hear a joke about Kenny Cooper as a clone trooper! Season 3 gets off with a (grandma) bang. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Saturday 3-6p Flatstick Pub (21+) Pioneer Square Free shirts (while supplies last) See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sounders will lose one player, but who will it be? Find out next week on true survivor! Or skip ahead to 24:00 as we dish out our end of season awards to see who won “Most Handsomest,” and the “Worst at Drug Tests” (really was a one-horse show). Come to our end of season party if you’re legally allowed to (21+) and beat us at games we were better at as kids! See you Saturday at Flatstick Pub in Pioneer Square. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Come to our party on November 23 at Flatstick Pub! 3pm-6pm, 21+, free games! Sounders won the cup, but more importantly, does that make them Yokozuna? We disagree about whether or not the first half was bad, but agree that trophies are good. Hold my Turfboni, I’m going in. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The grudge match to end all grudge matches, at least until the 2020 MLS Cup Final between these two teams again. Tune into EhBC to watch the Rave Green take down Michael Baldley in the three-match. How early is too early to drink, and what infinity stone gets released when Roman Torres and Xavier Arreaga run into each other at full force? All hail both Nouhous. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In the least probable outcome, Seattle Sounders FC beat LAFC and Toronto dethroned reigning champs, Atlanta, meaning that for Seattle fans, the cup stops here! Pay Raul Ruidiaz every one of the Peruvian Sol he signed up for (it's a lot - like 20+ Nouhou's worth), Nouhou uses Train-volley +6 to defend the team from LAFC range attack Flying Beer Can, and we scramble for a plan that involves all of us drinking beers together before the final! See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices