Don't Waste Your Pretty

CONTENT WARNING: Blunt conversation about rape, sexual assault, domestic violence.   This week we’re joined by Kara Lyne Szabadi to delve into Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture, a collection of essays edited by our favorite Roxane Gay. We try to wrap our minds around rape culture- from our personal experiences on college campuses, at work and in dating to the cultural watershed moments of the 2016 election and #metoo movement. We dive into the notion that it's not just the elephant in the room, but the room itself. Why have we internalized the belief that the global epidemic of sexual violence is “not that bad?” What’s “bad enough?” Why are we SO MAD?    If you need help now:  National Sexual Assault Hotline 24 hours a day  1800-656-4673

We all know women earn less than men for the same work, but what about all the other ways the patriarchy screws us financially? From makeup to waxing to bras to birth control women spend serious money to meet the demands society makes upon women. How do we make the men pay up? What’s the cash money value of emotional labor? Also, how often should we be washing our bras???

  This week we are blessed with the presence of Brenda Marie Davies, the creator of the sex-positive Christian YouTube channel God is Grey. We discuss the political power of Christianity today, the historical roots of the Bible-based bigotry, and how to separate power-based institutions and hierarchy from deeper faith teachings. Also, why is a woman's worth based on her virginity? Was Jesus a feminist? Are we going back to the times of Eden? All will be discussed and more.    Check out God is Grey on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Xf6ScN9riYhTOUsvhkhaw

Our favorite sex educator is back!  Angel Kalafatis-Russell joins us with advice on talking  to your friends about mental health and how to stick through our own individual process and healing. Also, moving beyond monogamy as default- what are some alternative relationship models? How do we make sure consent is an ongoing process?  Should we be burning the house down in response to #metoo? Lastly, Angel shares her experience with sexual assault and what she’s learning about advocating for one’s safety.  Content Warning: sexual assault and fire arms.  If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please call: 1800-273-8255

What the Devil is Satanic Feminism? Alexandra James, front woman of the Satanic doo-wop band Twin Temple, joins us to talk about the unholy union of Satanism and Feminism and how she brings her dark magic to the church of rock and roll. From witch hunts to sex magick and embracing the power of the outsider, Alexandra illuminates the darkness of our souls. http://twintemple.com/

Nathalie Antonia is back to bare all with us about the struggle to accept our changing, messy, imperfect bodies. From the parental and pop culture influences that shaped us early on, to our unresolved questions and issues now- this isn’t a show with easy (or any!) answers, but we know there are hard truths in getting honest about where we are right now. And we hope you’ll join us in this process of getting comfortable with the space we take up in the world, and start to shift our energy from obsessing about our bodies to fighting the patriarchy that causes that obsession in the first place.    Content warning: body talk, disordered eating, unresolved issues    Roxane Gay essay :  https://medium.com/s/unrulybodies/the-body-that-understands-what-fullness-is-f2e40c40cd75   Resources/help: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

This week we’re joined by filmmaker Melanie Zoey Weinstein to talk fetishes, bodies, and learning to communicate honestly in the art we make and the sex we want to have. Melanie discusses her new film, Spanko about a misfit teacher exploring her spanking fetish, and explains how watching Sex and the City with her mom and discovering pole-dancing were part of her process in embracing her body and fueling her fire to make feminist films. Plus, we reminisce about some of the ways we discovered sex and our individual kinks- from I Love Lucy to the dictionary to Dan Savage!   Why I Dance: https://vimeo.com/119494981 insta: @melaniezoeyyy Spanko FB: https://www.facebook.com/pg/SpankoFilm/about/

This week we're joining forces with Suzee Dunn of the 'Act Like A Girl' podcast to grow our patriarchy-smashing army! We talk about everything from her political awakening as a teenager in Michigan to questioning our heroes and the quest for the perfect birth control. We play the most disturbing version of Shag/Marry/Kill we could come up with: Kelly Ann Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Ivanka Trump...what would you chose? Also, which person psychically does Rebecca think sex robots should be based on?

Why do men have global permission to masturbate and women don’t? How can connecting with your clit heal your body, mind and spirit? This week we sit in bliss with creator of Clit Sit Meditation Aidi Kansas. She joins us to share the wisdom and practice she’s developed by trusting her intuition and touching her clit. From the perils of religious oppression and male spiritual leaders to developing your sixth sense and committing to your Kegels we’re getting deep into our bodies, minds, spirits and sex. 

This week is all about the Stormy of the Century- our heroine and maybe last hope of salvation from tyranny- Stormy Daniels! Beyond the tabloid headlines why does this story matter? How has Stormy’s background in adult films prepare her to take on the President? How is Michael Avenatti so sexy? And which Real Housewife was he fucking? All this and obviously a bonus Kardashian Konnection (TM)!

Rebecca got some needles in her face and it led us on a journey into the weird world of cosmetics, body modification, and pubic hair! From Queen Elizabeth’s lead-based “Mask of Youth"  to Botox and Mayan skull-modification to the Kardashian Kurves we get into the extreme history of trying to look hot. Plus, Ancient Egyptian wrinkle cream, Indian nose-jobs, and are all the asses in LA fake now?

Are you good at dating? Do you go straight to crazy town after sex? Has swiping ruined love? Our fave British babe Nathalie Antonia joins us to talk about dating— its evolution from formal courtship rituals to app-facilitated hook-ups—  and our individual neuroses, fantasies, and forecasts for the future. Plus find out how to become an accidental Scientologist and what it's like to have sex with a micropenis!

Book club! We’re talking with doctoral student/psychotherapist Rebecca Miller about Kate Manne’s Down Girl and its revolutionary redefinition of misogyny. How are sexism and misogyny different? What is himpathy? Why do we spend more time trying to understand rapists and murderers than the experience of their victims? Why is choking/strangulation so hot/terrifying?

You’re on a cross-country road trip with your girlfriends and out of nowhere you have a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. Before you know what’s happening, your car is plunging off the side of a pier, straight into the ocean below… This is Chaya Lubow’s story and she’s here to tell us how her brush with death put her on a journey into spiritual practice and emotional healing that continues in her work as a Marriage and Family Therapist and meditation teacher. We talk about how traumas live in the body, how to heal, and how to develop the superpower of our own intuition.    https://www.kathrynlubow.com/ Chaya’s Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/awakenings-in-real-life/id1314156180?mt=2

In this week’s episode we’re joined by cultural critic Clarkisha Kent— she created the Kent Test, a new system for determining to what extent a film or tv show adequately represents femmes of color. Using the Kent Test we break down the ways mainstream media fails people of color— looking at Jessica Jones, This Is Us, Sleepy Hollow, and others— and how we can start to do better and tell better, more diverse stories. Plus, Clarkisha tells us how she became Lena Dunham’s foe!      Follow Clarkisha: @IWriteAllDay_ Blog/Podcast: https://sublimezoo.com/ Representation Resources: http://equalityforher.org/ The Kent Test: http://equalityforher.org/resources/the-kent-test

We’re time-traveling back to the ‘90s to unpack the story of Monica Lewinsky- how the media and much of mainstream feminism did her dirty, why Bill Clinton is a sexual predator, and how re-framing the scandal relates to the #metoo movement and our collective shifting understanding of power. Plus, which Presidents would we fuck?

Student midwife, lactation consultant, childbirth educator, and women's health activist Kimberly Durdin is here to talk about the ways women can be empowered through the birth process and long after— and how the patriarchy has cut women off from our bodies and each other. Drawing from her vast experiences as a mother, birth worker and activist Kimberly gives us major insights into soaring c-section rates, the racism and politics of the medical community, and how midwifery and other woman-centered traditions can be resources and pathways to connection, progress, and power.    kimbelrydurdin.com   Birthing People Foundation:   https://www.gofundme.com/7njaz-help-train-birthworkers-of-color  

This week Nathalie Antonia is back and we’re unravelling Rebecca’s tale of a surprise dick video turned teachable moment. We find ourselves trying to understand all the ways we unconsciously default to performing emotional labor- attempting to manage or assuage the emotional experiences of others (often men)—  and how that reflects society’s expectations, our own fears, and how we respond when threatened. Plus, we learn Nathalie’s mantra for social media mental health!   Do you have drama in the DMs? Want us to deconstruct your text/facebook/tinder messages? Send us those screenshots and tell us your story and get on the show!

Happy Valentine’s Day! We’re joined by Dixie Perkinson for a good old-fashioned radio play—  celebrating VDay by reading Eve Ensler’s landmark feminist masterpiece The Vagina Monologues. Since it was first staged in 1996 the play has provided a platform for expression and empowerment through acknowledging the many possible experience of  living in a woman’s body, having a vagina (or not). Since 1998 Ensler and women around the world have staged productions of The Vagina Monologues to raise awareness and money to fight violence against women- if you are motivated by this episode we encourage you to make a donation to Peace Over Violence, a Los Angeles-based non-profit dedicated to “building healthy relationships and communities free from sexual, domestic, and interpersonal violence.”  Donate here: https://www.lifewithoutdv.com/

Fiber artist, activist, mother (and longtime favorite of the pod!) Shelly Georgopulous joins us this week to talk about her evolution as a feminist artist. Shelly uses embroidery as a gentle form of protest to fight the misogyny, racism, and relentless chaos of T****’s America. We delve into the creative and political legacy of “women’s work” and how we’re learning to channel our anger, model activism for kids, and stay sane so we can keep fighting. Check out Shelly: https://www.shellysellslemonade.com