Marriagepath Radio

Description: If gratitude is not the most important ingredient for a successful manner of life it is one of the most important. When you naturally see and act upon goodness, your influence increases. Your emotions become more steady. You find contentment more readily. In this podcast you will be challenged to examine your levels of gratitude. Something to Think about:   Gratitude is not a behavior to try; rather it is a deeply rooted attitude. When you experience gratitude, a multitude of good things follows. Gratitude allows you to keep envy and tension minimal.   Let’s Talk Question: What are the top 4 or 5 aspects of life you are most grateful for?

Description: In every close relationship there is the potential for being misunderstood, dismissed, or scolded.  When those moments occur, it is common to respond with defensiveness or anger. As an alternative, though, you could learn to adjust your thoughts in a manner that would allow self-directed trust to guide your responses. In this episode we will explore how inner trust leads to calm reactions. Something to Think about:   When responding to a confrontation, argumentative words imply that you are threatened by the other person. When your character is right, you can choose to sidestep the temptation to justify the legitimacy of who you are. Your calm response to another person’s aggression can have a disarming impact.   Let’s Talk Question: Why is it difficult or unnatural to respond to an unfair confrontation with calm self-trust?

Description: Once an extra-marital affair is exposed, emotions become erratic and communications can be difficult. Because of the sensitivity of the situation, reason needs to be applied. This podcast gives an overview of twelve areas that need to be addressed so the people involved will have the highest potential of responding to this marital intrusion as constructively as possible. Something to Think about: Responding to an emotionally loaded situation with no plan in place will only increase frayed feelings. A broad array of topics need to be explored so individuals and couples can move forward with confidence that growth can happen in the aftermath of an affair. Once an affair has happened, the couple faces a fork in the road, with one possibility leading to further disruption and the other leading to maturation. Let’s Talk Question: As you face the prospect of responding to an extra-marital affair, what are the top issues that you feel need to be examined most carefully?

Description: You can tell much about a person’s character by observing how they manage the seemingly small matters in relationships. You cannot expect people to be at their best in difficult moments when they give low priority to goodness in mundane incidents. This episode will highlight the good that develops when individuals develop a habit of goodness in small relational episodes. Something to Think about:   Rather than seeing a stranger as a nobody, you can treat them as a somebody, even in just that small intersection of time. Choices become trends which become habits which becomes character. What you do in minor moments can predict how you handle large incidents.   Let’s Talk Question: What impact do you feel when you are a part of a random act of kindness?

Description: Many people allow events and circumstances to bring out qualities that run counter to what they want to be. This implies that others are setting their pace for them. In this podcast we will look at the alternative of you establishing who you want to be even when it means not going along with the prevailing mood. Something to Think about:   Sometimes when we let others influence our behaviors, it is normal. It illustrates our inter-connectedness with others. Too often we lose sight of wise personal choices to the extent that we become swept into patterns contrary to our core values. Setting your own pace is a matter of choice. You do not have to be a chronic reactor to life.   Let’s Talk Question: When are you most susceptible (at home, in public, with extended family) to letting someone else set your pace?  Why do you suppose that happens?

Description: When individuals act impatiently they are so intent on pushing events to the finish line that they actually make the task all the more difficult. Living with balanced patience might  feel like you are taking a slower path, yet the results can be much more satisfactory and timely. In this episode we will discuss the ingredients that go into the making of a patient manner of relating. Something to Think about:   The patient person is cognizant about the wisest ways to manage anger. Becoming patient requires a curtailing of control and rigid expectations. Patience implies that you give attention to higher priorities like love and goodness.   Let’s Talk Question: What adjustments will you need to make so patience can be a more consistent trait in your relationships?

Description: When strains and tensions arise it is very common for couples to lean into the conflict with agitation and stubbornness. It may feel counter-intuitive, but those are precisely the moments when your calmness is needed most. This episode will explore the traits needed to create peace instead of volatility. Something to Think about:   When your partner is clearly in a disagreeable frame of mind, you are not required to become disagreeable too. Strong defenses and controlling communications indicate a lack of peace within yourself. As you offer calmness to a potentially difficult situation, your influence increases greatly.   Let’s Talk Question: Why do you suppose it is difficult to remain peaceful when another person seems to be in a combative frame of mind?

Description: Official studies confirm what common sense tells us:  Homes that give priority to expressions of thanks have higher levels of contentment.  As simple as this notion seems, many minimize a grateful spirit as criticism and annoyance dominate.  This episode will highlight various ways to set the stage for gratitude to be center stage. Something to Think about:   Gratitude includes the quality of thankfulness, kindness, and the appreciation of things that are good. Given the truth that some people forget the importance of gratitude, you will need to be intentional in your communication of positive sentiments. As gratitude remains an ongoing ingredient within the home, conflicts are more readily resolved.   Let’s Talk Question: What happens within you when you are the recipient of your partner’s expressions of gratitude?

Description: There is no shortage of scenarios requiring self-restraint.  You may have unhealthy emotional outbursts, quick judgments, spending sprees, poor eating habits, or excessive alcohol consumption (to name just a few).  With each situation, measured choices are greatly preferred over impulses of the moment. This episode will discuss the need for self-restraint and  how to attain it. Something to Think about:   Self-restraint can happen only as you emphasize humility and empathy. Your ability to discern between needs and wants is crucial in maintaining self-restraint. Self-restrained individuals actually like the idea of being responsible.   Let’s Talk Question: In what circumstances is self-restraint difficult for you?  What adjustments will you need to make as you tackle this issue?

Description: When strains are openly addressed within marriage, it is far too common to focus on what the other person should do in order to make things right.  The alternative is to have a clear self-focus anchored in wisdom and discernment.  As you plan who you want to be despite unfriendly responses, you can become a model worthy of following. Something to Think about:   Sometimes it is impossible to make others change, and continued efforts to make that change happen can lead to your own demise. There are times when the best way to contribute to relational wholeness is to think solo. As you rehearse healthy responses in your private moments, you can be prepared to respond well in tense situations.   Let’s Talk Question: Why do people press so hard to make others change, as opposed to focusing instead on personal initiatives?

Description: Anxiety can be understood as a result of unresolved conflicts.  Specifically, anxious people tend to struggle with fear, anger, and control.  In this episode we will identify the nature of anxiety for the purpose of learning how to keep that emotion from playing a prominent role in your primary relationships. Something to Think about:   Anxious individuals have not learned to have a full measure of trust in their decision making abilities. Accompanying anxiety is a fear of being controlled and a wish to somehow find control. You can minimize anxiety as you accept your truth about limitations.   Let’s Talk Question: In what circumstances does anxiety become problematic in your life?  What healthy alternatives do you have in those moments?

Description: Rather than looking at life as driven solely by function and duty, spiritually minded people have an understanding that life is guided by an overarching meaning.  They are driven by a desire to accentuate love in each element of daily living.  As spirituality takes over, their influence becomes enhanced because others can more clearly appreciate an outpouring of their respect for human dignity. Something to Think about:   Spirituality represents a transformation of the inner character. Spiritual people are known as wise, discerning how to respond to humanity in a manner that promotes goodness. A simple goal of spiritual people is being a giver of joy and encouragement.   Let’s Talk Question: As you have aged, how has your understanding of spirituality changed?

Description: While you cannot always choose what your circumstances will bring, you can choose your attitudes.  This podcast focuses on 4 primary beliefs espoused by the late Viktor Frankl who penned his thoughts about a successful life after living through the horrors of the Holocaust. You will be challenged to receive his message of meaning and apply it to everyday life experiences. Something to Think about:   Success and happiness are not the goal, but the byproduct. You can learn to predetermine how you will respond to any situation. Meaningful choices can be made as you ponder any common situation in your home.   Let’s Talk Question: What key beliefs do you hold that give you a sense of meaning in your roles within the family?

Description: Differences in close relationships cannot be avoided. When they arise, what is your tendency?  You can use the moment to be destructive or you can use it to destroy.  In this segment we will examine how to respond to relational differences in ways that can make you a more well-rounded person and can take your relationship to a higher plane. Something to Think about:   Too many individuals respond to differences with invalidation and control. Every person has blind spots, including you. Differences present opportunities to grow and learn. Your maturity level is most on display in the midst of differences.   Let’s Talk Question: What adjustments could you make as you choose to respond to differences constructively?

Description: When a person engages in an extramarital affair, it is inevitably accompanied by deception and deservedness (an attitude of entitlement).  For healing to move forward, these two ingredients need to be removed as thoroughly as possible.  This episode will explore the nature of deception and deservedness so you can learn if trust can be rebuilt. Something to Think about:   As difficult as it is to come to terms with the act of adultery, secrecy and deception can be and even more troublesome quality to accept. When an offending spouse responds to the problem with an in-charge or demanding nature, it illustrates a lack of true contrition. The offending partner will need to maintain patience, perhaps for an extended time, as efforts are made to get a broken marriage back on track.   Let’s Talk Question: How much questioning and probing is fair as one partner tries to come to terms with the other partner’s infidelity?

Description: When conflicts arise, communication can be laced with strong emotion which can then lead to badgering (griping, accusing, bossiness, repetitions, insistence, etc).  Your task is to recognize the futility of badgering so you don’t make a bad situation worse.  This episode will explain 5 key ideas that will set you up to be a calming presence in a potentially volatile situation Something to Think about:   Badgering illustrates a form of deep insecurity. You can choose to join in a counter-badgering style of communication or you can choose to be the mature person in the relationship equation. Your boundaries can be established without a harsh, punitive attitude leading the way. Let’s Talk Question: When the communication in your home becomes too agitated, what poor responses might you offer?  What are your better alternatives?

Description: Unfortunately disappointment and tension is inevitable is close relationships, especially as unwanted circumstances arise.  In those moments, some succumb to the word “can’t.”  They can assume (falsely) a complete lack of choice in the moment.  This episode will explore four ways to reorient your thinking so you will not become emotionally paralyzed by “can’t.” Something to Think about:   People who assume they can’t manage their circumstances are commonly focused on changing their externals, not their internals. “Can’t thinking” sets you up for behavioral extremes such as people pleasing, withdrawal, or emotional explosions. Coming to terms with undesirable circumstances usually requires giving up reasonable ideals.   Let’s Talk Question: In what circumstances do you falsely conclude that you have no choice?

Description: One of the great minds of the 20th century was that of Alexander Solzhenitsyn.  While he is most known for political commentary, his philosophies are amazingly relevant for the home life too. In this episode we will identify 10 life lessons that are a direct spin-off from his core beliefs about dignity and the life of true contentment. Something to Think about:   Life is best lived as part of a well-conceived scheme, not just random preferences. High control is a bankrupt way of life, as so is freely chosen greed and self-absorption. Rather than majoring on what society should do differently, it is wisest to reflect on what I as one person can do to impact the world around me.   Let’s Talk Question: If you prioritized respect for others and a willingness to be content within yourself, how would your behaviors and communications at home be most powerfully impacted?

Description: Marital partners may say they trust each other, yet their communication can consist of chronic bickering, or perhaps there is little personal disclosure, or maybe they struggle to find points of agreement.  For trust to be trust, it has to be demonstrated in real life situations. In this episode, we will examine ways that show if trust truly is (or is not) an integral ingredient in the marriage. Something to Think about:   Trusting partners have few incidents of defensiveness. When you develop trust in a relationship, it is the result of truly knowing each other from the inside out. Trusting partners naturally seek for clarification when communication breaks down.  They don’t readily become argumentative.   Let’s Talk Question: What would you say are the top 3 or 4 indicators that trust is fully intact within a relationship?

Description: When you and your partner disagree it can be easy to slip into a win-lose manner of communicating.  When this happens, control and stubbornness become central as listening and cooperation fade.  In this episode we will explore how efforts to win ultimately lead to relationship loss, and we will then identify healthy alternatives. Something to Think about:   An unwillingness to concede that others have differing preferences leads to a tendency to lord over that person. Marriage is not a battleground. You are helping no one as you attempt to vanquish your own teammate. True winners show honor to the other person by trying to learn that person’s truth.   Let’s Talk Question: When you and your partner go into a conquering form of communication, what common patterns emerge?  What are your better alternatives?