Jason And Todd Talk Through Lousy Films

[[:encoded, "Sinbad of the Seven Seas is one of the last gasps of The Cannon Group, and it is intensely stupid. For some reason, Jason and Todd spend a lot of time talking about suicide. Kinda concerning."]]

[[:encoded, "Striptease is a movie that was marketed on one thing and one thing alone. Jason and Todd get excited and then uncomfortable watching it when they aren't yapping about what's wrong with their brains and how they keep screwing up the world with them."]]

[[:encoded, "The Shack is Christian propaganda movie with an impressive cast that still doesn't do much to clear up what exactly The Holy Ghost is. Jason and Todd talk about being terrified of getting older and bigger, Charles Grodin, and how confusing Christianity is."]]

[[:encoded, "Killer Sofa is a New Zealand movie about a murderous piece of furniture that is clearly a chair and not a sofa. No matter, because there is much to discuss, including somebody's upcoming colonoscopy. Enjoy!"]]

[[:encoded, "The Witch Who Came from the Sea is a movie about a lady who murders dudes because of a horrible thing that happened when she was a kid. No matter, Jason and Todd are just excited to have recorded their first ever live episode, and they are so stoked about it they don't shut up for an epic three whole hours. Look. They do it for them. Not you."]]

[[:encoded, "Killdozer is a movie about a bulldozer that gets possessed by an evil space rock. Jason and Todd are not sure they haven't done this movie on the podcast before, and they aren't sure they won't do it again. What they are sure of, is this movie is pure television magic. Clint Walker!"]]

[[:encoded, "Staying Alive is a sequel to Saturday Night Fever that was directed by Sylvester Stallone and ends with John Travolta telling his girlfriend to back off so he can \"strut.\" In addition to marveling about this bizarre dance movie, Jason and Todd talk about vaccine chasers, how society indoctrinates us with certain prejudices that screw up our taste in movies, and then they trade stories about turning in papers on time."]]

[[:encoded, "Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw is a movie about a former child preacher and a future Wonder Woman going on a road trip crime spree. Doesn't matter, though, because Jason and Todd talk about other stuff, like politics and feeling intellectually superior, and they don't even shut up when Wonder Woman is naked. I mean, come on, right? Happy Christmas!"]]

[[:encoded, "Intimate Agony is a TV movie from 1983 that is a lot like Jaws, except instead of a shark terrorizing a vacation island, it's a an outbreak of herpes. Be warned that Jason will discuss in detail his own experiences with VD, and Todd will probably giggle about Jason's misfortune because he is a total dick. Anyway, let truth by your Judith Light, and set down with these two idiots for a dose of it."]]

[[:encoded, "Strays is a movie starring Timothy Busfield about a bunch of murderous alley cats. Jason talks about Busfield, Todd talks about Kathleen Quinlan, and they both agree cats are too cute to be scary even though we know they will bite you right in the eyebrow out of nowhere sometimes."]]

[[:encoded, "Vivarium is a movie about two young beautiful people stuck in the suburbs because of nerdy aliens. It hits a little two close to home for Jason and Todd who, while perhaps not young and beautiful, are stuck in the suburbs. So they talk about Bill and Ted 3, TV movies of the week, and sending children to their deaths."]]

[[:encoded, "Double Jeopardy is a movie starring a lady whose career was killed by a Hollywood monster. Jason and Todd watch it for the second time in a row due to technical malfunctions, so really this is Double Double Jeopardy. Is double double jeopardy even legal? These guys do not care, and proceed to talk about movies from the fifties versus the eighties, VP picks, and the virtues of choosing a cocaine habit over gainful employment. The boys are back together! Well, virtually, anyway."]]

[[:encoded, "The Apple is a musical that involves an apple. It's really quite awful, and the Andersons are up at bat. Todd, Hilary and Colby take on\nthe challenge from Jason and Corey with what can only be described as difficulty. It takes a very long time for Hilary to make the penicillin, and while the conversation starts off with some\nthoughtful ruminations on art and music, it ultimately descends into an argument about whose turn it is to clean up the cat vomit."]]

[[:encoded, "Beyond the Door is a spaghetti rip-off of The Exorcist, and led to a huge lawsuit when it was an international hit at the box office. Jason and Corey rise to Todd's cruel challenge, and manage to talk through the entire dumb movie while staving off the threatening insanity that comes with quarantining in America. That's right. We just made your weekend."]]

[[:encoded, "Joni is a movie from 1979 about a woman who was paralyzed in a swimming accident, and it stars, was produced, and is based on the autobiography of Joni herself. For quarantine times, Jason has challenged Todd to watch this with his family, Hilary and Colby. It's kind of crazy, and halfway through the Andersons realize they are horrible monsters."]]

[[:encoded, "Spenser Confidential is a Marky-Mark Netflix movie show and we are in quarantine. Jason and Todd can't suffer with each other right now, so they are forcing their leading ladies to suffer their tangential yapping instead. We weren't going to stop hurting each other, you guys. This time, it's Jason and Corey!"]]

[[:encoded, "Wicked Woman is a movie about a really tall blonde lady who is...wicked, we guess? Jason and Todd hunker down to talk of film noir women, the grieving process, and Hal Holbrook. It's a lot to talk about during a movie with a very short running time. They even touch on overweight white people!"]]

[[:encoded, "Chill Factor is a movie with the tag line, \"Two guys, one bomb, and a whole lot of ice cream.\" It has Skeet Ulrich. There is also a UPS truck involved. It's hard to follow the dumb plot if you are incessantly talking about other movies, tragedies in Los Angeles, and feeling superior. So Jason and Todd get lost. They get really, really lost."]]

[[:encoded, "The Fanatic is a movie directed by that Limp Bizkit guy and starring that Scientology guy. Fitting that Jason and Todd should end 2019 by talking through one of the worst reviewed movies of 2019. They talk about Tarantino's latest, war movies, and even mention the movie Tiptoes again. Have a great holiday!"]]

[[:encoded, "Dragon Wars: D-War is a movie about a dragon war that Craig Robinson is heavily involved in for some reason. Todd and Jason talk about Godzilla movies, a bad experience Todd had seeing Parasite, and Jason's fucked up back. Dragons!"]]