Pirate Monk Podcast

On this episode: Nate cleans before the house cleaner arrives. Aaron knew a fella. Our Guest: Andrew Susskind, clinical social worker, therapist, author, podcaster, and blogger. Discussion includes: not just sobriety, finding life. Reclaiming childhood longings. “Social media is basically lite porn,” or other ways we escape. Sexual blueprint, sexual health and sexual discussion. More connection and less shame. The masculinity of yearning. Book: Its Not About the Sex: Moving from Isolation to Intimacy after Sexual Addiction Andrew Susskind’s: contact, podcast, blog, practice.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pira

On this episode: Nate is concerned about getting his @ss kicked. Aaron draws conclusions with Disney’s Pocahontas. Encouraged by the relapses of the saints. When and what qualifies you in ministry with returning guest Tullian Tchividjian. “If we aren’t attracting the same people as Jesus attracted, we aren’t preaching the same message Jesus preached.” The Sanctuary Church, Jupiter, FL Fallen and Free Conference Feb. 17-19, 2023   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider

On this episode: Aaron interrogates Nate. Nate sings a very heartfelt song. The guys talk to guest Andrew Bauman, speaker, therapist, writer, and author. “The owning of your *ssholeness doesn’t lead to toxic shame. It leads to humility not humiliation.” How to define narcissism. Addressing couples work AFTER a lengthy period of sobriety. Andrew J. Bauman Book: How Not to Be an *ss: Essays on Becoming a Good & Safe Man Film: A Brave Lament Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 5

On this episode: Nate feels gratitude. Aaron remembers a super cool smoking trick learned during Shakespearean acting classes. The guys have a deep discussion with George Bitar about healthy couples' communication despite traumatic backgrounds. Learning to discuss disconnection cues and trigger moments in emotionally focused couples therapy work. How to repair and reconnect. Feeling delight and joy in the relationship. Tapping into emotions to point to our needs and values. Providing hope for healing and growth emotionally. https://connectcouplestherapy.com/ Books: Hold Me Tight The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Other Resources: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/261/the-sanctity-of-marriage/act-one-1 https://connectcouplestherapy.com/are-you-a-pursuer-withdrawer-or-a-bit-of-both/ http://carolinaeft.com/pdf/Where_Does_Love_Go_Wrong.pdf https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-the-sound-relationship-house/     If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or s

On this episode: Aaron caps that. Nate shops amazon. The guys interview Chris Bruno, counselor and author of Sage: A Man's Guide into His Second Passage and Man Maker Project: Boys are Born. Men are Made. Nate shares his experiences from the Italian Samson retreat. “The task of the second passage, is to find the boy within the man, and bring him home.” “When we are hijacked in this phallic state, we are not looking for sex, we are looking for connection.” “The more we dissociate, the more it’s a flight from the goodness of God.” "It's not because the sage knows all the answers to all of the things. The sage is not a sage because he has good advice."    To sign up for the Virtual Samson Retreat on Dec 8-9, 2022, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-virtual-retreat-dec-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contribut

You can join us for the Virtual Samson Retreat with Roane, Eva and Roe Hunter on Dec 8-9, 2022, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-virtual-retreat-dec-2022 to sign up. Q&A How did Jason Gray get chosen as the musical guest? Any worries about losing the mission of the Samson Society with the scope of ministry expanding? Can we have some focus for single guys at the next retreat? What alternate format meetings have you seen that have been successful? How do you handle a situation where someone abuses your trust or vulnerability within Samson? How can I cast a vision for a Samson group for guys who are not necessarily dealing with sexual brokenness? Is there a place or need for a "group conscience meeting" in the context of Samson? How can I discern when it's time to make a change in my recovery plan? Is there a place for women who need something like Samson Society? Are there materials available for how to be a Silas? Where can fathers whose children also deal with addiction connect

"Porn is like the junk food of healthy sex and relationships." Aaron and Rob interview Ian Henderson, founder of the Naked Truth Project. about how he got involved in this work of opening eyes and freeing lives from the damages of porn. While Naked Truth is based in Manchester, UK, they work with people all over the world.  The "open eyes" aspect focuses on education to combat the normalization of porn by presenting in schools and elsewhere to raise awareness of the dangers of porn.  The "freeing lives" portion focuses on those who have already been trapped in addiction, and also help for their partners.  The work goes well beyond just stopping the behavior, moving individuals to healthy growth and reclaiming what was lost.   To sign up for the Virtual Samson Retreat on Dec 8-9, 2022, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-virtual-retreat-dec-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a no

Nate and Aaron interview Andrea Ashley, host of the Adult Child podcast, about the trauma of growing up in a dysfunctional alcoholic family, the maladaptive coping mechanisms she chose, such as alcohol and unhealthy dating relationships, and her path to recovery.    If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

Nate and Aaron interview Juris S, author of Happy, Joyous and Free: One Man's Journey and Guide to Ultimate Spiritual Health.  Topics include: bullying, alcoholism, and integration of faith and recovery.   For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

"I want to empower my partner to show up freely, not disempower her by withholding data that might affect the choices she makes and how she shows up." "If you don't have a shared understanding of the past, you cannot have a shared trajectory for the future." "The human brain is wired so that even a perceived threat to a primary attachment relationship registers as a survival issue." We welcome Jake Porter of Daring Ventures to the show.  Topics include: secondary addictions, couple-centered recovery, the importance of attachment, and power imbalance in the relationship. (jake@daringventures.com)   For more information and registration for the International Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-international-retreat-italy-2022 For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for fu

We welcome back a great friend of the show, Michael Cusick to talk about trauma, whether addiction exists, and attachment in all areas of life.  You can also check out more about Michael's Restoring The Soul Weekend Intensive.   For more information and registration for the International Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-international-retreat-italy-2022 For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a

"You cannot become masculine until it's given to you." Aaron and Justin have a fun conversation with Roe Hunter, therapist and son of previous guest, Roane Hunter (Episode 330).  We get to hear the other side of the story as they discuss topics like forgiveness and repair, family recovery, the critical nature of brotherhood, and the transition to manhood.  (Note: the episode that Aaron referenced with Scott Dente is actually Episode 115.) For more on Roe's practice, visit https://lifeworks.ms/roe-hunter-lpc-csat For more information and registration for the International Retreat in Italy, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-international-retreat-italy-2022 For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat in Eva TN, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   Th

Nate and Aaron have a fascinating conversation on topics of Story, Attachment, and Attunement with Adam Young, therapist and host of "The Place We Find Ourselves" podcast. For more information and registration for the International Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-international-retreat-italy-2022 For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.

"We have this work to do with God around our stories, around our hurt and our pain...Every person is in the pain management business whether they know it or not...If I don't have a relationship and walk with God where I can process that hurt and pain in a healthy way - an appropriate, truthful, redemptive, kingdom way - then I process my pain in unhealthy ways...We learned to use sex as a primary pain management tool of our life...using sex to seek emotional equilibrium." Nate and Aaron drop some big news about a couple of exciting happenings within the Samson House community that you won't want to miss. Then they welcome guest Tony Ingrassia of The Power of Purity ministry, who shares his story of the practical importance of the gospel in community.   For more information and registration for the International Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-international-retreat-italy-2022 For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfo

"We want to Re-Solution people with Biblically-based, research-informed answers to their  hurts and struggles." The guys open the show with a great discussion about the importance of knowing and sharing our stories in community. Then guest Ben Bennett shares his story of faith, multiple addictions and the solutions that he has found.  You can learn more about Ben and his ministry at resolutionmovement.org.   For more information and registration for the International Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-international-retreat-italy-2022 For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit 

"We're shoving more knowledge into our heads and we're becoming more and more stupid. There's just no inner wisdom." Nate, Chris and Aaron have a great visit with guest Eli Machen, one of the pioneers in sex addiction recovery, as they discuss sobriety and its role in recovery, understanding the truths we already know, and how to rebuild trust in relationship. You can access Eli's videos on the Show Up 365 channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Showup365.   For more information and registration for the International Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-international-retreat-italy-2022 For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Soci

"I don't know of a more discombobulating, imprisoning power on the earth than shame. To me, shame is personalized demonization." "Here's the good news: When you really get the proper diagnosis, Grace becomes all the sweeter. You're never going to shock the Father. You may know 4% of your sin - He's taken on the other 96% as well." We've got another Pirate Monk roundtable with Nate, Chris, Rob and Justin on the topic of emotional triggers, followed by an interview with a man who played a key role in the founding of the Samson Society - Scotty Smith.  Nate and Scotty have a great conversation about Shame, Grace, and Healing. You can connect with Scotty at https://twitter.com/scottywardsmith and https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/scotty-smith/. For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future gue

We start the episode with a Pirate Monk roundtable with Nate, Chris, Rob and Justin going deep quickly using a couple of probing questions. Then Nate interviews singer/songwriter Jason Gray about his story of vulnerability through his speech handicap, divorce, and the importance of our language.  Stay tuned at the end as Jason shares a couple of challenging songs with us.  Jason will be joining us in person at the Annual Retreat in Eva TN on November 5-7, 2022.  For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available

"The antidote for shame is chronic exposure to love and acceptance."  "I get under emotional distress and I want to go back to the maladaptive coping behavior that I learned early on that works for me. And it's the emotional distress and the emotional dysregulation that we've got to begin to work with." - Roane Hunter Nate and Aaron speak with Roane Hunter, CSAT and co-author of Sex, God & the Chaos of Betrayal about a range of topics, including Roane's preferred term for addiction: "distress reduction behavior".  Roane, along with his wife Eva and son Roe, who are also both CSATs, will be the featured speakers at our Annual Retreat in Eva TN on November 5-7, 2022.  For more on the Hunter's practice, visit https://lifeworks.ms/roane-eva-hunter For more information and registration for the Annual Retreat, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-national-retreat-2022.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future gue

"You can say, 'I look at porn 20 times a day', but that is inconsequential to me...The big question is 'Why?'" "You better damn well trust that therapist that you're sitting across from...You've got to feel safe to investigate shame." "In the context of relationships, we're all responsible to get our own needs met. That doesn't mean we go meet our own needs - we've seen how destructive that can be - but we do have to learn how to ask for those needs to be met." Kaka Ray returns to the podcast to discuss the importance of growing up your brain - it doesn't just happen but must be intentional. You can find out more about Kaka's practice at tnnfb.com. For more information on the International Retreat in October 2022, please visit https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-international-retreat-italy-2022-wknd1.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this pod