Doopcast - Philadelphia Union

With a bitter division rival coming in to town, with whom we share some rather tasty history, we were expecting blood and thunder but instead were served up something more akin to your mother's sister getting off….you know… an anti-climax.   Fabinho had his coming out party (so it's a good job he's not in Moscow) as our left wing gave Washington more trouble than Obama ever has. Happy birthday, Staci Klemmer!

Even a pre-game double rainbow couldn't bring three points to PPL as the U desperately searched for their pot of gold but instead found only pyrite - speaking of pots of gold, our own lucky charm is back in Ireland for a couple of weeks so super sub Jimmy is back and for his sins he has to find a way to make the case for Leo Fernandes - believe it or not I think, just like a toothless parrot, he succeeds… Geddit?  Oh dear… Pat better get back here soon.

It was crouching striker hideous drag on as a first half lineup that was even stranger looking than Peter Crouch failed to spark against Sparky's new look Stoke. On the bright side we were the first team this term to get three points from Fortress BC where it was Wheeler, not Crouchy who was the one getting patronized for having a great touch for a big man, now if only Thor could do the robot…

The left coast hipsters came to town and produced a very unhip display of stifling and smothering play.  This was the type of game that soccer haters like to use as an example of why the sport will never catch on in America.  For the neutral there wasn't much there, but it was kind of like one of those pictures that is all blurry and the image only appears when you have studied it for a while.  Having said that I can never get those bloody things to work!

With Mrs. Farfan in the stands her boys did her proud, with Michael turning in perhaps his best display since his All Star Game days.  Despite the horrible conditions we left PPL happy and laughing and all smiles. Another Union game, another red card for the opposition?  Sure - even Hack joined in the fun. Onwards and upwards we go.

In the words of the great philosopher, "Oops, I did it again".  Was that Keikergaard or Britney Spears?  I can never remember. After that aberration it was all downhill, but there was some good news with another strong showing from Anding and even a Roger Torres sighting! C'mon the U!

It was life imitating art as the evil JR, played by Blas Perez, stole Thor's thunder as good-guy younger brother Bobby, played by Aaron Wheeler, looked to have stolen the show, the perennially nice, but useless Cliff Barnes played by Zach MacMath did his usual routine of screwing everything up with a dopey "who me?" look on his face as the ineffectual Sue-Ellen, played by John Hackworth looked on from the sidelines. You couldn't make this stuff up.  No Stormin' Gorman means even more prattling on from Richie and a greater amount of stats-a-plenty from Pat.  Here's hoping Dan makes it out of the Georgia swamps in time for the next episode.  

Funny, I didn't see Titi Henry reminding us of the three nil scoreline in this game.  I guess he forgot.  Without his supporting cast the Prince of Wankers left PPL with his tail between his legs and as many points as a bowling ball. Is it a new dawn, a fals dawn, or was it all just a fever dream?  I don't know and I don't care becasue lordy, does it feel good to give those ever-so humble and friendly folks from up there a good old fashioned rogering. Can we keep up the good work and carry the momentum in to the Dallas game?  Here's hoping.

One step forwards... Two steps back.  What to make of that mess? Stormin' Gorman was there so listen as we try to figure out what the heck is going on.

The strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Against a terrible TFC team the U were an uglier sight than Nick Sackiewicz in that too-tight shirt he wears for the River Cup games.  Then against (an admittedly under-strength) Crew outfit that was uglier than, well, their uniforms the U suddenly transformed into a dynamic, thrusting, footballing wonder show. Funny old game, innit?  Keano is back to berate oral fetishists so watch out!

A dumfounding performance up north leaves Richie a spluttering, stuttering mess but at least we had the OC game to look forward to.  Surely that was a romp, right? Deary me - I know we won, an' all but come on, lads... Give us something to smile about.

The glamour boys come to town... But enough about Pat's cousins from Ireland and on to the games. LA gave us a master class in movement and finishing and Chicago gave us a reason to feel good about ourselves.  Oddly enough I am not sure which one was more enjoyable.

Same old same old, or a a dramatic change?  Erm... None of the above?! As our team confounds and confuses us it somehow manages to keep on moving sort of forwards... I guess. Hey !  What's that?  It's Jack Mac scoring two goals in the ..... huh?  What?  Number 44?  Are you sure?

Billy Bragg sang that he didn't want to change the world and he wasn't looking for a new england, but the U were the ones looking for another goal, as our defenders had their worst game of the season against a team  that previously was as threatening in front of goal as Danny Cruz… And speaking of coach's little helper… we have called that lad many things on the DoopCast but now he's also a cock-tease?  Confused?  A little disturbed?  Fear not, the professor will explain all.

Jack McInerney That's really all there is to say...

Same lineup? Check!  Same predictable, meandering down blind alleys on offense?  Check!  Folks starting to grumble louder and louder about Hack?  Checkity-check-check-check! Why can't we play an attacking formation (come on, we're at home) and actually try and win a game instead of trying to not lose a game?  Ugh. In this episode Pat takes a close look at the stats and tactics as he goes deeper than Casey diving in to the donut bag.  Prepare to get your footy geek on! C'mon the U !

Kleberson, oh Kleberson... Wherefore art thou, Kleberson? Who needs him?  Danny Cruz was not one hundred percent terrible in this game (shock!) as the boys in blue eeked out a point after a frenetic finish in which we were on top for once.  Hope for the future or just another disappointment in that we couldn't close out a game after taking a lead?  You decide. Sorry for the compromised nature of this pod, but scheduling madness conspired against the lads.  Normal service will be resumed next week.

After the 'friendly' against Pumas the Union were back in action at the bed pan as predictably all the team's hard work went down the tubes with our boys in blue being undone by a tricky turd - and if you think that's offensive try looking up the name Luis Aragones called Henry. Pat has a plea for equality, Richie forgets to ask the you are the ref question, and Dan joins us from strange and distant lands, otherwise known as the South. C'mon the U!

On Irish Night (what was that, really?) at The U it's McInerny, appropriately enough, who leaves us all 'bright and gay' with three points and second place in the East. The cold and wet didn't dampen the spirits of our boys in blue and with a sterling defensive effort from our center back pairing could we dare to dream of more clean sheets? Check out www.doopcast.com to donate to our bandwidth fund.

A win is a win is a win.  With Irish Night on the horizon The U won three beautiful points with a display that was uglier than Shane MacGowan and more tense than Chris Christie's belt. Keano is here to set everyone straight and we present the case FOR Brian Carroll.  Impossible, you say?  It is certainly more believable than making the case for Freddy Adu being a good guy. The cost for bandwidth etcetera comes out of our own pockets - to show your appreciation for the DoopCast how bout chucking us a couple dollars to pay those bills?  You will find a donation button at the foot of our home page www.doopcast.com C'mon the U !