Having It All: Conversations About Living An Abundant Loving Life

In today's episode I'm sharing with you some steps to help you to stop making fear based decisions in your life, especially around major life decisions, and to start deciding from a place of love. I think we all know what it's like to be at a crossroads, and to choose the path of fear. I've done it countless times in my past and each time it left me feeling regretful, shameful, guilty or another one of the many fear based emotions that are available to choose from. Most of us also know what it's like to choose the path of love and growth as well, and we've experienced the freedom, excitement, energy, healing, and possibility that comes from choosing in that state of mind. In this episode I explore the consequences of both types of decision making, and I give you some tips on how to avoid making fear based decisions that leave you feeling less than.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is a rebroadcast of a powerful conversation I had with Paul Colaianni -- host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast and author of "The Overwhelmed Brain: Personal Growth For Critical Thinkers". Paul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life ripe with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn’t until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental and spiritual breaking point, which sent him on a 10 year journey to study and self examine. Today, Paul is a self empowerment coach who uses his life experiences and the insights he’s picked up along the way, to coach others through their challenges and help them reach their personal goals. In this episode, Paul shares what he’s learned through a life of exploring what living authentically means to him, and he gets p

In today's episode I'm talking about the importance of keeping the promises you make to yourself. As with many things in life, our ability to keep promises to others is linked to our ability to keep promises to ourselves.  If we break internal promises we're more likely to break external promises, both big and small. The idea of integrity is at stake here -- doing what you say you will do. Each time you don't keep a promise to yourself, you let yourself down. Your confidence is shook. You don't believe you'll be able to do it next time. And at that point you're sunk. Failing to keep a promise communicates that you don't value the person you made the promise to, which in this case is YOU. Failing to keep promises erodes trust. It messes with your self esteem, confidence, our experience of life. In short, there are many crappy consequences to failing to keep promises to yourself. Yet we continue to do it. For me, it wasn't until I became aware of (A) just how frequently I was breaking promises to myself, and (B

In this episode I'm talking about an aspect of health and wellness that I don't think gets a lot of attention, and that's your relationship towards money. For 18 years I've had an incredibly disempowering relationship with my personal finances. I went years without looking into the state of my personal finances, dodging creditor phone calls, never checking my credit score, and blowing all my cash as soon as it was payday. What that got me was massive anxiety around just about anything money related.  But things changed for me 2 years ago when I became very intentional about shifting my relationship towards money.  Now, I believe that a healthy relationship towards and knowledge of your personal finances is vital to feeling like you have it all. Remember, A.L.L. stands for "Abundant Loving Life", and Life can be broken down to the 6 F's of: Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness, FINANCE and Fun. How can you have an abundant and loving relationship with Finance if you're afraid of it? I'm sharing with you some of the

I'm coming clean in this episode and am sharing something I've been feeling for a little while now: I'm tired of working on myself. I'm tired of feeling like I need to constantly improve myself, fix things, heal wounds, grow and transform. At the moment - and I stress that I understand this to be a momentary feeling and not a permanent state, but nevertheless - I feel the desire to unplug, get out of my environment for a bit, and live on a beach. Yes, I want to spend my days in the sun and sand : ) I'm sharing this for a few reasons: First, it's my truth and this show is all about transparency. So there's that. Second, because I know other people out there are feeling similar. You are feeling totally inundated with "self help" stuff. You can't open up your social media without seeing inspirational quotes and videos with dramatic music. You can't walk through a bookstore without someones guide to improving everything that's wrong with you being broadcast from a shelf. You can't hop into a podcast without peopl

In this episode I'm giving two examples of how your thinking impacts your ability to perform. I talk about the consequences on your body of holding loving and empowering thoughts versus fearful and scarce thoughts. And I challenge you to become more aware of the individual thoughts you choose to hold and replay in your mind that are influencing how you feel about yourself, others and life.  Your thoughts have a huge impact on how you show up in life physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually. The conversations you have in your head, the beliefs you hold about yourself, others and life, all impact your ability to perform.  My examples today both come from the local gym I'm a member of, and I think gyms are a great place to illustrate the power of your thinking. In a gym, when stress is being applied to our bodies, we are presented with fantastic circumstances to become aware of our thinking and to experience the consequences of those thoughts. If you hold negative, disempowering thoughts while

In today's episode I'm talking about how important it is that you periodically take time to acknowledge how far you've come in your personal growth journey. So frequently we are caught up in the pursuit of whatever it is that we're going after -- peace, joy, greatness, self mastery, personal development -- that we neglect to realize how far we've come. We spend our time thinking about how much further we have to go, and totally disregard the tremendous amount of healing and growing we had to do to get where we are today.  I give you a couple of personal examples that I experienced very recently where I had an opportunity to recognize growth: one example with my wife and one example with both my wife and myself.  If you're listening to this show then I can safely bet that you have been doing some sort of "work" on yourself. It will look different to different people, but I'm confident that one of your personal goals is to be a better person today (however you define better) than you were yesterday. I think tha

In today's quick fix I let you know why you need to learn to love and get excited about life's hardships --- Rough episode transcript --- If you’re listening to this podcast then I know that you’re into improving yourself and truly stepping into your badassness, and I can bet that you’ve been practicing. Maybe it’s meditating or journaling or being grateful or facing your fears or practicing humility. Whatever it is, this message for you.  WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN IN LIFE, WHICH HAPPENS AND WILL NEVER STOP HAPPENING UNTIL YOU’RE DEAD, YOU NEED TO BE PSYCHED ABOUT IT! Hear me out. You’ve been doing all of these things to improve yourself. You’ve been finding your strength, uncovering your gifts, revealing your mission and purpose. You’ve been practicing getting organized and being compassionate and having courage. You’ve been listening to podcasts and reading books and attending retreats and buying courses. All of these things have been your training, and none of it matters when life is going smoothly. When life

I 100% believe that you are a winner! I'm not talking about in the blow smoke up your ass self help type of way. You are winning at the games you're choosing to play in life. Some of us are playing the game of VICTIM, others are playing the game of being BROKE, others are playing the game of NOT VALUING THEMSELVES. What games are you winning at in life? ---- Rough Transcript ----  I watched the College Football National Championship game last night between Clemson and Alabama. Great game, had everything you want in sports: drama, great plays, last minute heroics. Half of the players and fans enjoyed the outcome of the game, half hated it. Reminded me that we are all winning at the games we're playing in life. Here are some common games that we play: Playing the game of being led by your emotions - There are much bigger games than your emotions. But when you don't see it that way, people show up in your life to ride the emotional roller coaster with you, or to turn that roller coaster into high gear. Playing

In today's episode I'm giving you two new beliefs to wear on for when the stuff hits the fan in your life. If you've ever felt like life keeps dealing you a raw hand, that you keep on being served up trial after trial, and that the next challenge seems bigger than the last, then you want to pay attention! A while ago I was handed two new beliefs to try on for when circumstances arise. Beliefs are like t-shirts, you can try them on to see how they fit. Keep the ones that work for you and put them on again whenever you need them. Or discard them if they don't work for you. That's the great thing about beliefs, they are abundant! The things I'm talking about today will help you remain in your power when adversity comes your way.  --- Rough Transcript --- This week I was presented with circumstances that trusted my Faith. Faith is TRUST + SURRENDER. My basement flooded, destroying some things I had stored down there, and knocking out my hot water. Not the worst situation in the world, but definitely something tha

Bonus episode today. This episode is all about being intentional on how you want to experience 2017. It's about mindset and creating the context for how you will approach circumstances that come at you in the next year. It's probably the easiest activity you can do to get clear on how you'll have it all next year. I was getting my mind focused on 2017, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to experience, and what I wanted to create in the year, and it got me thinking about my word for the year. Last year my word was "Creation" and I did a whole lot of that during the year. My wife and I created life and welcomed our daughter Maya in September. I created multiple businesses and products. I launched 2 podcasts - this show and Doing It At Home (my home birth podcast with my wife). I created new friends and created new experiences with old friends. I also created countless opportunities to practice humility, surrender, and patience. This year my word -- well actually my phrase -- is BEAST MODE. To me that means being

Today we're talking about new year resolutions and why so many of us fail at keeping them going year after year. I look at the statistics behind new years resolution failure, the most common resolutions set each year, and explore some reasons why they fail and tips to avoid failure. I also share an interesting psychological angle into why we don't succeed with our resolutions. But all of this is overshadowed by the #1 reason why we fail to accomplish our new years resolutions, which I share at the end.  It's 2 days before the new year, and I want to talk about NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS. I've got some statistics and psychology in this episode, and I'll link to all of the resources that I used in the show notes on Fireside Network. What you'll hear in today's episode: The research on New Years Resolutions and why they fail An interesting psychological phenomena that could be hurting your chances of succeeding with your resolutions My #1 reason why resolutions fail, and what to do about it Resources from this e

In today's episode I'm talking about the consequences of brutal honesty. There can be a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety associated with honesty, despite the freeing impact that complete honesty can have on ourselves and in our relationships. This episode was inspired by an article I read titled "The Pros And Cons Of Brutal Honesty". The following quote from the article sets up this episode perfectly: "People that stop growing are individuals who decide they can no longer handle brutal honesty. " I believe part of what it means to love someone unconditionally - yourself included - is being honest with them. Honest with how they are showing up, your feelings towards them, how you experience them, what you'd like to experience with them, what you see for them, the impact they have on your life. This show is about rewriting beliefs, moving through fears, discovering your truth, and viewing life through a lens of abundance and love -- and getting there, for most of us, takes growth. What you'll hear in this

In today’s episode I’m talking with Dr. Tiffany Stewart on living life on your own terms and using visualization and goal setting to create the life you want to live. *** Remember in grade school when we wanted to be excused from class to go to the bathroom, what did we need to make that happen? A permission slip! Well, somewhere between then and adulthood many of us neglected to drop that belief when it came to living our most joyful and authentic lives! We believe that permission is needed to create a life that we are passionate to live. My guest today has built her career off of rescripting that belief and helping people create the life that they want. Dr. Tiffany Stewart. Tiffany is a mother, coach, professor, counselor, businesswoman and speaker. Her passion is to help individuals who may be stuck in some area of life, tap into their power and give themselves permission to step into their purpose and create the life they want to live. What you'll hear in this episode:What you'll hear in this episode: Ti

In today's episode I'm going in with Anthony Strayhorn on his Epic Challenge - an area of his life where he is feeling stuck, frustrated, confused and unable to make a change. We’re getting personal, we’re getting real, and we’re playing for breakthroughs! Anthony's Epic Challenge is about learning how to toe the line between consideration and courage with his clients. He is a personal fitness coach and works with people who are looking to shift their fitness, lifestyle and consciousness. Anthony is looking to tap into his compassion more, but not at the expense of tough love. It's the balance of these two things he's striving for.  No small feat. But that's why it's called an EPIC Challenge afterall! Once again, some of the things we discuss in this episode may not be for young ears so you may want to vet this one before letting the kiddos listen. What you’ll hear in this episode:Anthony gets honest on his current Epic Challenge and why he’s sought feedback The real feelings and emotions that come up when

In today's episode I talk to Jake Heilbrunn about his inspiring story of dropping out of college to go on a soul searching journey through Central America, all captured in his new book "Off The Beaten Trail". This self discovery journey gave Jake the opportunity to overcome fears, expand his perspective, and inspire himself to do (and be) things he didn't think possible. Not only is the book itself an example of intention at work, but also the way that Jake sought out funding and endorsements. Jake is also a speaker who uses his story to inspire people to follow their intuition and believe in their own greatness. What you’ll hear in this episode: Jake’s amazing story of his solo backpacking journey through Central America Embracing fear and moving through it to accomplish your goals Simple ways to practice gratitude and abundance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I'm talking all about Gratitude. I'm giving you 7 things you probably haven't heard before about gratitude. We're talking about gratitude in your personal finances, tools for helping you form a gratitude habit, how gratitude can improve your relationships, the power of gratitude to totally flip your mood, how we feel more gratitude for experiences rather than things, and why gratitude in conflict is more powerful than forgiveness or acceptance. I used a few resources to create the list for this episode and I'm going to post them all in the show notes at www.FiresideNetwork.com. Just go there, select this show from the Shows list, and click on today's episode.  If you have some tips, thoughts or stories on gratitude, I'd love to hear them. Reach me on my personal email address at mattcbivens@gmail.com. I'd particularly love to hear how you've cultivated a regular gratitude habit into your life. If you send me your tips I'll do a follow up to this episode where I share them on air. Learn more ab

In this episode I tear apart the concept of “work-life balance” and explain why it’s dangerous, leads to unhealthy living, and why we have to replace it with a healthy and sustainable construct. We’re all familiar with the idea of work-life balance. It’s a phrase and concept we’ve been fed for years. But have you really thought about the implications? What the phrase implies? And have you been able to create a work-life balance in your life for a significant period of time, and kept it going?! I consider myself a student of balance. Truly, it’s something that when I realized I needed I got into action (both on the doing AND being side), to create a healthier balance of all things important in my life. For the past almost 4 years I’ve been playing a health and fitness game called the YourDay Balance Game (yup, “balance” is in the title!). I’ve tried different tools and trackers and systems to create balance, and I’ve discovered some powerful things about the concept of “work-life” balance that I want to reveal

It’s Epic Challenge time again! That means I’m going in with my guest on the area of their life where they are feeling stuck, frustrated, confused and unable to make a change. We’re getting personal, we’re getting real, and we’re playing for breakthroughs! This week I’m joined by Kelly Lynn Prime. Kelly’s Epic Challenge is about releasing self judgement, shifting the conversation of the inner critic, and surrendering to unconditional love. No small feat. But that's why it's called an EPIC Challenge afterall! Once again, some of the things we discuss in this episode may not be for young ears so you may want to vet this one before letting the kiddos listen. What you’ll hear in this episode:Kelly get honest on her current Epic Challenge and why she’s sought feedback The lenses through which Kelly sees and relates to herself Methods of deflection used to avoid addressing the Epic Challenge Raw and honest feedback Kelly received from her community on her Epic Challenge, and how she received it Learn more ab

I’ve talked about facing fears a number of times on this show. Most people who have a "self help" type of show probably talk a lot of about fears. And for great reason: Fears keep us from experiencing LOVE in life. You can boil your decisions down to a choice between fear and love, and that includes your decision on how and who to BE in life. So yes, fear is worth talking about! Today I’m sharing with you a powerful new way to look at your fears, and what it takes to overcome them, that gave me one of those "mind = blown" moments when it was told to me. This new paradigm around overcoming fears was shared with me by my coach, Day Adeogba, and has completely shifted how I think about and step into fears in my own life. Chew on this: “Fear is like butter, and courage is like fire.” What does this mean? Well, I’m unpacking this powerful statement in today’s episode. What you’ll hear in the episode. The meaning of the phrase “Fear is like butter, and courage is like fire”. A very personal example of me applying