The Overwhelmed Brain | Stress | Anxiety | Relationship | Critical Thinking | Emotional Intelligence | Emotional Abuse

1. One huge mistake can change your life. Then when it's time to make up for that mistake, you have to prioritize what's most important. Sometimes that means losing something you love. 2. When you control someone, you cause them to want to be away from you and seek their needs from someone else. What starts off seeming to be the only way to get what you want them to do turns into the very thing that drives them away 3. What do narcissists do that makes them so cunning? Why does everything feel like your fault? A little taste of the narcissist in this third segment will help answer those questions.

1. If your brain or your heart closes up at the thought of sharing your feelings about someone else, this first segment is for you. 2. It's vital to have someone or somewhere to express the deep negative emotions. Finding that safe person with whom to share your shame, guilt and fears may be just what you need to heal. 3. How do you get past criticism? I read a negative review of the show, then do something a little different on overcoming criticism.

1. What do you do when you lose your mentor? Here's a trick you may think is a little out there. 2. What is the biggest problem in your relationship? Cheating or worse? To heal, you may have to work on something else first 3. You can only control you.

1. Have you ever listened to a motivational teacher to the point where you were ready to make huge changes in your life, but after a couple days you lost all that motivation? Motivational teaching is great for building you up, but where do you go after you come back down? 2. Matthew Bivens joins me and we talk about wisdom and when everything in life is failing.

1. When you get angry, frustrated or upset toward someone else, how quickly do you recover? Would you like to recover faster and get into a better space? I'll walk you through questions you can ask yourself that lead to change. 2. How do you feed the dysfunction of others? If you get into emotionally abusive relationships but can't figure out how to stop the abuse, you may be part of the cause. 3. You can commit to someone then re-evaluate that commitment when they don't hold up their end of the bargain.

1. If you want to change someone's life, sometimes all it takes is a heartfelt "Thank You" or compliment. But not in passing. A thank you or compliment that makes them stop and process it can be quite powerful. 2. If you are dealing with insecurities about yourself, this segment and the final segment will help you start to heal from them. I reveal one of my own insecurities for the first time on the public airwaves.

1. Without a history of breakups, your first major one can seem devastating and life ending. In this segment, I help the newbie get through all the symptoms of the first major heartbreak. 2. When you think your relationship is horrible and you find yourself taking up all the slack for your deadbeat other half, are you creating your own misery? 3. One of my clients writes to me and tells me the person she is going to marry is already telling her what to do with her money. It makes her feel uncomfortable and manipulated. She's right. So I tell her what she needs to do.

Do you value what your partner values? If not, you may be in for a rude awakening when they suddenly get upset with you for seemingly no reason. What's important to you may not be important to them, and vice versa, but it might be a good idea to make it important to you since your relationship's longevity may depend on it.

1. How do you handle "no"? Do you suffer hoping the other person would follow you to the ends of the earth, or do you welcome the opportunity to be free of someone that didn't want to be with you? 2. How much of your emotions need your logic? How about your logic needing your emotions? Is it time to be fully unified? 3. A listener asks why they left if they loved. It's not always black and white - sometimes it's to save the relationship.

1. Asking yourself stupid questions may be the path to healing and moving through the hard stuff in your life. We often have choices when it appears we don't - stupid questions may lead to more choices. 2. Sociopathic people in the workplace and at home can be extremely difficult to deal with. I give you one effective method of doing so. 3. In codependence, there is usually a giver and a taker. I'll give you one guess who gets burnt out while the other thinks there's nothing wrong with the arrangement.

Letting go of a narcissistic parent can seem like cutting off a limb to some people, but what happens right after the moment you make the decision to cut them out of your life? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me today to discuss this very thing.

1. Race, culture and background can dictate personality and behavior. A listener writes in and asks how to get along with almost everyone. 2. A woman asks if I have any words of wisdom for her regarding a drifting marriage and isolation from family. 3. If you really want to stretch your mind, meet in person, not online. Make real connections.

Getting into alignment with a career you want is a whole lot more fulfilling then trudging through each day trying to make the career you're in work. I talk with Scott Barlow, a regular of The Overwhelmed Brain, on finding work that fits and creating the kind of happiness in your life that you can actually get paid for.   visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/htyc

1. The addict has a different perspective of the world according to a recovering addict that writes in to the show. 2. We're told that suffering is optional. I make an argument against and for it. 3. Every judgment you have is a lack of acceptance in you. I help a listener understand his options when it comes to judging his girlfriend

1. Resolving issues before New Year's resolutions is a better practice for some people. If you have trouble keeping your resolutions, perhaps it's time to change when you make them. 2. A listener writes in and wonders if she is toxic like her boyfriend's ex's or if he is the common denominator. 3. Is free will really free? This philosophical perspective may start the new year off with many questions. 4. If you reflect on how your year went, it's time to look at what you really value so you can plan ahead instead of review the past

1. Is it hard for you or your partner to say I love you? Sometimes the past can play an important role to prevent or encourage those words to come out of someone's mouth. If the love is there but the words aren't, it doesn't always mean there is no love. 2. When you think about how you treated your ex, do you feel guilty? If so, this segment will help you cope and perhaps even get over the guilt so that you can look forward to a brighter future in yourself and your relationships. 3. If you are emotionally abusive, it's time to face up to it and do whatever it takes to heal inside so that you don't subject anyone else to it. There is a path to freedom from your own behavior.

1. Are you a chameleon? Do you change as needed for every person and situation? If so, is it really serving you? 2. If someone has ever hurt you so that you would let them go, this segment may tell you why. Fear of your reaction is usually the cause but there are others. 3. Speaking of reactions, what do you do with friends and family that are aggressive or explosive? Do you invite them to the wedding or are you just setting yourself up for disaster?

If your partner's family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do? When you can't feel safe in your own relationship because your partner's priority is his or her own family, you may have some hard choices to make. An emotionally intelligent conversation between Matthew Bivens and I on this special episode of The Overwhelmed Brain.

1 She caught her husband cheating, he blamed her and her family for the affair. He used to be loving and supportive. Now that he can't get his way, he is cold and manipulative. 2 She wants her ex back but all he wants is sex. She complies but feels empty and lonely without him. Now that she has healed from her past and doing better, he still won't come back. 3 When your intuition kicks in, it's important to follow it through to the end. You may not like what you find but at least you'll have closure.   Visit getoutofthemess.com if you need legal advice

When you find out a lie that your partner has been holding on to for months or years, where does that leave the relationship? What if it's a minor lie and your relationship has been going great? Or what if it's a massive lie that you cannot get past? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me to answer an email on this very subject in this special mid-week episode of TOB.