Delight Your Marriage

I'd like to share Kevin's story, mostly in his own words.  As always, there is a huge message of hope and transformation available in this story, so I hope you'll listen in! After 28 years of marriage, feeling like roommates, Kevin said "I felt helpless" and "very isolated, very alone" in the struggles he experienced.  As a very successful (and busy!) IT exec overseeing teams in India, UK, France, and elsewhere, and really being able to figure out most things on his own... It was confusing to not be able to figure out marriage in the same way. And it was painful to hear his wife caring more about something like Diet Coke than him. Logically, he knew it wasn’t true but it sure felt like it at times. He listened to the DYM transformation stories (like this one!). And they sounded too good to be true. But he kept hearing parts of his story over and over again through other people's DYM interviews.  He thoroughly checked into the DYM work and dived into the podcasts. Of the work, he said, "the more and more I lis

I am grateful so many men share their unfiltered hearts with me.  It is an honor and a privilege.  I find that many men feel extremely misunderstood. And they have numbed their pain just to "get through". The problem with numbing is we don't see the people right in front of us and the pain they are experiencing.  What I see so frequently is men who are desperately trying to be the men God designed them to be, but are frustrated with the lack of respect in their marriages. I want to help you understand... 1 - that your feelings here are valid and even God-designed 2 - there is a productive way to handle this gap (Spoiler alert: it starts on the inside of you.)   Love & Blessings, Belah   PS --  Are you curious about the overall health of your marriage? Respect is a big piece and when it's missing, it impacts the emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy of a marriage.  Discover the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage with our free online Marital Health Assessment delightyourmarriage.com/health When

Oh, the pain of frustration, being consistently misunderstood, and having your needs (legitimate needs) consistently trampled upon. Both Jerry and Joyce felt it. And Jerry desperately looked for answers. Delight Your Marriage wasn't his first program -- but unfortunately, the other one gave advice that almost drove his wife to a nervous breakdown.  Jerry didn't get out of his marriage, though his frustration level (due to his hurt) was through the roof.  The pain was so deep for her, she couldn't even attend the church he pastored. Joyce was considering separation and even talking with lawyers.  But then Jerry decided to give Delight Your Marriage a try.  Now... a year later, Joyce not only loves her husband again, but "likes him," too. ("Liking" your spouse can be way harder than "loving" them.) She's actually looking forward to raising their small children together and is happy even being a pastor's wife now.  The healing that has taken place in just over a year, is now impacting every single person in thei

Join us for an inspiring conversation with Jenny, a loving housewife and mother of four from Finland. In this episode, Jenny shares her remarkable transformation journey and the positive impact it had on her marriage. Previously working as a nurse before having kids, Jenny and her husband made a conscious decision to prioritize their family and serve the Lord in a unique way. Through their involvement in a discipleship-making movement, they found Delight Your Marriage, a program that brought significant changes to their lives. Jenny's husband initially joined the men's program and experienced a profound transformation (from her perspective as the wife). Encouraged by his progress, Jenny recognized her own need for growth and decided to embark on her own journey. She realized that she had lost touch with her own needs while prioritizing the needs of her family, often neglecting her spiritual well-being. But she realized she was busy and God spoke to her heart that she was being a "Martha" far more than a "Mary

Mother's Day is almost here! (This Sunday!) Make sure the mom in your life is getting treated really nicely! She is WONDERFUL and deserves to be celebrated! I have a wonderful mom. She sacrificed so much for me. I am forever in her debt. As a mom myself... I believe sacrificing to be a good mom brings her greater joy than if she had never sacrificed at all.    Sacrifice. Duty. Responsibility.    Sounds antiquated, old-fashioned, and maybe even oppressive...?   Am I morally obligated to take care of my kids?  Did I assume the responsibility for their well-being when my husband and I enjoyed... ...ehemm... "actions with procreative potential"... which (happily) resulted in a child?   I would submit the answer is "yes."   I now lay down Feelings and pick up a life built upon proper values.  Hopefully, your mom did the same... otherwise, it would have been a very difficult existence for you.    The nature of a mother: assuming a role and duty to care for those souls entrusted to her.   What does this have to do w

This title was hard to come up with.   Essentially, I want you to have the tools and mindset to figure out how to set boundaries with yourself and with others when needed. Jesus was the servant of all.  He came to serve not to be served.  He was the most humble and meek.  And yet, Jesus set boundaries. A lot.  Here are a couple, but once you read this, you'll probably not be able to read a parable or look at the life of Jesus without noticing His leaning into boundaries over and over again.  Jesus disappointed people because his priority was God over people In Mark 1:35-39, Jesus wakes up early to pray, but his disciples come looking for him, saying that "everyone is looking for you." In Matthew 16:21-23,  Jesus tells his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and scribes. Peter rebukes him, saying that this should never happen to him. Jesus responds by telling Peter that he is setting his mind on human things rather than God's things and calls him a

Pastor David had a rocky start with his marriage.    Facing his hurts wasn't what he actually wanted to do. He was nervous to bring it up to his wife -- they share all their finances. So he brought it up to her and said he wants to transform into the man, husband and father he wants to become.   Even only 4 weeks into the program, Pastor David's wife commented, "I have noticed a change. Keep it up. It was worth the money."   And she is not a physical touch kind of person, which was his highest love language. Yet, even in just those 4 weeks of implementing what was taught in the course, this has increased.   It's hard to face our pain, isn't it! It's tough to be vulnerable about the things we struggle with that are closest to our hearts...yes, it takes courage to open those wounds up so that we can get them healed.   Husband... wife... you don't have to struggle alone. Do you desire to grow but don't have a safe space to be open and real with what is going on in your heart and marriage?   We're here for that..

Our interview is about how to get a young person to read/do this workbook that could set them up for a successful dating and married life! --- WOW! I am honored and grateful! My goodness.    So, the story goes... yesterday morning Amazon told me that it might be 3 days before the workbook could be live... Pre-Dating Workbook: What you need to know and do before you start dating (and definitely during) Biblical guidance from a marriage trainer and coach https://amzn.to/40Hr21D   Eeek!    Of course, we've all been counting down the days and the launch day was Friday.    So yesterday (Thursday) I sent an ask to my list that they would pray that it would in fact be live on Friday.  And guess what posted late on Thursday.  By the time I saw it, somehow some clients had picked it up and already had purchased AND already had REVIEWED!!!   So, today BEFORE we even told our email list that it was live, it has been named #1 New Release for Christian Youth Ministry!!!!   WOW!    THANK YOU if you have already purchased!

Brett is fantastic! Firstly, many men have a similar past that we work with but don't share it openly. I really appreciate Brett's boldness to share and it encourages so many others! That yes, even for your history, there IS HOPE! My favorite quotes:  "Now, I can't wait to go home at night."    "[I have] closer friendships in MR than what I have in everyday life...It's unexplainable how you feel when you've got guys or brothers reaching out to you."   "The biggest thing is my relationship with Lord has grown."   His marriage is transforming, healing, and trusting again -- his friendships are deep and encouraging, and as a father, he's influencing his kids for the Lord.  (His wife is really liking the changes -- but he hasn't yet shared that he did the program.) His relationship with the Lord is thriving like never before! It's amazing to see what God has done! I hope you will feel encouraged too! Blessings, Belah PS - If you'd like help like Brett, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/c

You are teaching them.  Whether consciously or unconsciously, they're observing you and figuring out whether you have something they want.  Do they want the marriage you have? Is marriage worth it? Do you have guidance that would actually give them the result they want?   If you’ve been around Delight Your Marriage a while, you know we are passionate about helping marriages get better, SO THAT they can do God’s will better in the world.    But what if your marriage was set up with the right framework, role modeling, and good habits BEFORE you even started your dating relationship?    Since we started teaching marriage, we have always been told that they WISHED they knew this before ever getting married.      And it’s so true.   So many people didn’t start out with the tools.    They’ve never even seen a good marriage! But your son or daughter could get a leg up. They could get started on the spouse pursuit journey by having not only a great example (you!) but also the tools clearly articulated for them. What

When the crisis occurs outside of your home, if it's not peaceful and healed in your marriage, it becomes an additional stress instead of support in a horrible time. I am not sure if you’ve lived through war – literally – but if so, you’ll relate to Alex. I’ll share more about him in a second.   Every member of our DYM team witnessed life transformation in their own marriages (first) and then God seemed to give us a need for a position right as He gave us the person who fits that need.    But with our need for a tech and automations specialist, the expertise was so specific that it was important we go for someone who is foremost extremely good in their specialized field, as we can’t risk the infrastructure of the organization to not work correctly.   That’s when, last April we hired Alex as our tech and automations consultant. He has amazing experience in the field, with our specific systems, and has worked with hundreds of clients, some businesses making millions per year and one even $50M per year.   It w

Are you exhausted from the fight? The struggle? The resist and then then fail? Then try, then fail, then good, then fail, then try again, then fail...   Maybe you have a few good days, weeks even months...   But it's lurking in the background. Waiting to take you down again. And who knows how long you'll be down this time. Maybe it'll be just this once... maybe you'll be down forever. Maybe you'll never get back out. Maybe you'll never be the man God has called you to be. Truly. Maybe you'll squander the life He gave you...      And no one knows. And the ones that do, don't understand.   Men. I honor you. In your suffering.    I hear you.  I hear you. I hear you.   You are not alone. And there is hope.  And there is a way out.      It's Good Friday tomorrow. And you know the story. And you know the ending. And you know what happens. And you sing the songs. And you attend the service. And you have heard it all -- maybe you even conduct the service. And you know the stuff -- maybe you've memorized it. You teach

So... a serious ex-military gent (on his way to becoming a drill sergeant) decided it was time to fix his marriage.  Then as a business leader and a leader in the church, people would come to him for marriage advice. Their connection looked good on the outside, but sadly it was lonely. When he started the program, he began to realize maybe he should stop giving marriage advice.  He shares in his story how hard, but necessary it was to become humble.  Which as, Andrew Murray says, is the chief sin -- all others flow from it. Murray goes on to say, if you think you don't struggle with pride, sadly, you do more than those who are at least aware of it.  We all have to fight against pride. Steve decided to take on that challenge. (Maybe his military background helped?) And he decided to listen and deeply consider if his heart, perceptions, and approach have been wrong in his marriage.  He not only became humble, but he also became teachable and asked the Lord to change him from the inside. And that caused him to l

"Unbelievable." (ie: There's no way that's true.) That's how he felt when he heard the transformation stories. He was in a place of desperation.  Being in the marriage felt like a chore.    But that glimmer of hope that kept him listening to the transformation stories made him wonder if he should take the leap of faith and schedule the free Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc )  Well, he did.  His wife didn't know.   We don’t make these stories up. Maybe your marriage could be next. We invite you to schedule a free, no obligation call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. What do you have to lose? This could permanently change your life.    From a graduate:  “After 36 years of marriage and being ‘settled’ (or maybe complacent?) in the rhythm of our relationship, I figured something along the lines of, ‘Well, for us this must be as good as it’s going to get!’   Now, two months and eight modules later, my feeling is, ‘If it can be this good already, and I still have four modules to go, where are we going from he

There are so many people I wish I could help when I meet them at the playground, park, at a party... so here it is.    Marriage can be tough. VERY tough. And there is a dearth of helpful insight nowadays.  My content is focused towards people who follow the teachings of Jesus. But I really want to give you help because, from one perspective, we may not even be able to ask the hard philosophical questions about "is there a God?" or "what is Truth?" if we're bogged down with so much emotional pain in our marriage.   So, I tried my best in this episode to give you a roadmap at a very high level of how to rescue your relationship. Whether you follow the teachings of Jesus or not. (Yes, all my training is based on that, but I want to HELP you... so I invite you to listen in because I am very practical.)   Maybe you want to stay married because of the kids (good for you!) or you really can't afford a divorce, or you want to keep the commitment you made however many years ago, or you have the slightest bit of hope t

Their marital intimacy never seemed to be right. Early on, they struggled with infertility and then a heartbreaking miscarriage. God did give them a baby (praise God!), and then that was another layer of challenge. But she couldn't seem to get intimacy "right." And she knew he wasn't satisfied. And that was a big dig to her confidence. Consistently. Which impacted their relationship. She decided to take the brave step and schedule the Clarity Call (with wonderful Dana). But even just on that call, she felt so heard and cared for. And had a twinkle of hope.   Now... She sees sex as pure and good. She already knew that. But somehow, through this work, it went from head to heart. She felt so encouraged by the community. And finally had a judgment-free zone to deeply share. Now she has gotten a great sense of freedom that she didn't have previously, and even encourages adventure in intimacy -- why not!? May Rose's story encourage you. There is hope for you, too.   Our team is praying for you and we hope this epis

If you're a wife...this podcast is dynamite! Wow, I just gotta say...thank You, Lord, for giving our dear Belah such wise insight and for her willingness, humility, and surrender to keep sharing the powerful things that You give her to share with all of us! After listening to this podcast, I feel like I just got a feast at a banquet table!  This is a message that empowers our God-given role as wives, breaks it down in simple, yet incredibly insightful and inspiring ways, AND enlarges the vision for the Kingdom of God and how our role as wives plays such a vital role in it all. I truly hope and pray that this podcast speaks to and encourages your heart as it did mine. This will be one of my favorites that gets repeated many times over! Thank you, Belah! Thank You, Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit for Your work in Your people and the incredible love You have for all of us that You show us the way to abundant life...and it is all though an intimate walk with you...a TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP with The King of Kings and

My goal today is to inspire a curious heart.  Could God have really designed men and women differently? Could your differences truly be HIS design? Could it be that "in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female he created them.” Gen 1:27   Could your husband's member be God-designed?   Could it be that sex is God-designed? Could there be a reason God's boundaries around this gift are all over the Bible?  Could loving your husband well (loving your husband the way he receives love) bring God glory?   Love & Blessings, Belah   PS -- This is a free Marital Health Assessment to find out how healthy your marriage is in emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy: delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS -- A recent grad wrote: BEFORE: "Not feeling loved by each other. Disconnected hearts (emotionally, spiritually, and physically). Going to bed feeling hurt almost every night. Fighting a lot, even in front of the kids." AFTER: "Forgiven her. Relearned to appreciate all that she is (and m

So, I think God gives us opportunities to change all the time. Change the way we think, the way we are, the way we understand the world.    And it makes me sad when so many of us choose to assume this is as good as it gets and we're not going to be able to do anything to make it better. Nothing in the world has ever improved with that kind of thinking. Ever.   To me, that's a very negative mindset called "wallowing."   I think it's childish, in fact. (I say that with conviction because I've been there far too often myself!) I think God wants us to take our power back and stand on our own feet and decide to improve what we are discontent about.   Yes, there are sad and bad things going on in the world. And as followers of Jesus, we DO something about it. We link arms with a mission or organization doing the work that needs to be done (like the Good Samaritan picking up the beaten man and paying for him to get better at the inn---he didn't start his own inn---he paid someone else to do the work that needed to b

Hi, dear sisters.   My husband felt inspired to share some thoughts with you.    Actually, I was trying to communicate something to wives that I just kept re-recording and re-recording and I just couldn't get it right.    So I brought in the big guns. Yes... my husband is here to communicate what I couldn't.    I invite you to see how to CATCH what may be most important for you to hear.    May God work in your heart as you listen so that you will remember what He wants you to hear through this.   Love,  Belah   PS - If you are ready to find out how healthy your marriage is, I invite you to find out through this free resource: Marital Health Assessment: delightyourmarriage.com/health   PPS - If you're ready to transform your marriage, join a free Clarity Call (it's such a blessing) at delightyourmarriage.com/cc   Recent Delight Your Marriage program graduate's testimonial: "After listening to the podcasts for a couple of years, I had hope that this might be a source of real change. But now that I have particip