Delight Your Marriage

Today's story is by a wonderful man who needed help to receive the intimacy he was really hoping for.    As a person who believed in Jesus and was serious about the Word of God, the lack of intimacy in his marriage was not something he was willing to find a sinful outlet for. Instead, he had heard of Delight Your Marriage and began listening to the podcast. After listening for several years, he decided to sign up for the men’s program when it began to be offered.  The first time he went through the 3-month program, he learned, implemented, and saw results!  He saw some great changes in his marriage. But after a year, he realized it wasn't enough.  So, he did it again...    I invite you to hear what his changes have been this time around, after he had a foundation to build from and really finetune his shifts. He's got some exciting things to share as a result of his second round of the program…an even greater progression of growth in his marriage. If you've done "all the things" but haven't seen your marriage

You may be one who is really good about getting yourself filled up in order to be your best for your spouse. But for the rest of us, this episode is for you.  I think we know that we cannot give what we do not have. But that doesn't stop us from trying (and failing often...Oh, how many times I have been there!) Then my stressed feelings take over and I am not kind or loving to my highest priority human, ehemm, my spouse. I want to encourage you that God is one who can fill your cup. But you have to discipline yourself and make room for him to renew and refresh you.  Ultimately, your spouse cannot satisfy. God does.  We want to get filled up with him and from that overflow, we bring our best to serving our spouse.  Love,  Belah PS - How can we help you? From some people who graduated recently (not married to each other). Women's program:  Before:  There wasn’t peace at home, kids constantly see us arguing, I didn’t want to be at home...My husband was extremely resentful of me. I’ve lost respect for him. Was

He's been a Christian for many years yet couldn't seem to "crack" how people transform. He knew he wasn't where God would want him to be, but couldn't get to the place of how to get there.  He'd followed DYM for years and applied what he picked up, but it doesn't seem to move the needle. Finally, he decided it was time, and joined.  He started seeing changes in himself, changes in his walk with God, and a community of men that was "extraordinary." He learned to be a man of God in a real sense alongside other men growing, as well. He finally felt unstuck. Blessings, Belah PS - If you're a wife or a husband, I encourage you to sign up for a Clarity Call to see how you, too, can witness this kind of transformation in you and in your marriage.  delightyourmarriage.com/cc From a wife graduate who also felt stuck: "Coming into the program, I felt stuck. My marriage was 1 year into recovery from my husband's infidelity, and though we had been counseling and working on moving forward, I felt like we hadn't made much

My son, age 10, is going to talk to you today. And I invite you to ​​imagine this is your son.  What kind of father do you want him to see? A leader? A man of character? A man of strength and integrity? So many wives want that for their sons, but they are unwilling to do what's necessary to make space for that to be a reality. These wives (and sadly I've been in that place way too many times) give into fear. Fear that he won't do what "needs to be done" in her eyes. ​​​​​​​​ So, instead of letting him lead, she takes charge and controls, criticizes, and even "mothers her husband" (yuck!)... Then... she expects him to stand up and lead? That wouldn't be sensical. So your husband either shuts down and reverts to apathy or he may get angry and explode. ​​​​ And ultimately, how does that impact the kids? ​​ On our episode, my son is actually going to be painfully honest about how we live this out (and there are some less-than-flattering revelations un/fortunately). The point is...​​ Your kids need t

They saved themselves for marriage. (Yay!) But there were other hurdles encountered as a result of a lack of insight around intimacy and God's wonderful design. Hear how Lindsay got to the other side. Was it just flipping a switch and suddenly there's freedom? No. It was a process. It was a journey, and it took support and guidance. I look forward to you hearing from someone who got there, and you can, too.  For men: her husband went first.  For women: she had to commit and realize it was important enough for her to get free.  Love,  Belah  PS - Like Lindsay, if you want freedom in your intimacy but have hang-ups from purity culture, you can get on a free Clarity Call to be listened to and asked questions. Maybe our program is the right fit for you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc If you're a husband who sees his wife "holding back" because of this, Lindsay's husband took the men's program first, so I also encourage you to get on a Clarity Call. delightyourmarriage.com/cc Program Graduate Quote:  Before the progra

DYM Listeners -- Thank you SO much for all your help with this Pre-Engaged Workbook launch.    And God got us on the charts... #1 New Release in Christian Dating & Relationships!!! Thanking God for His favor!! (Being on the charts means it will be seen by many more people).   And a special thank you to Maria, Delighted Wife Facilitator, who was our amazing book editor! She edited and gave feedback and edited again -- Thank you!   May God use this in a mighty way in the lives of those who read it.   "It truly is a life changing resource if couples will apply themselves to the principles."   Blessings, Belah   PS - If you haven't yet purchased / reviewed the Pre-Engaged workbook, would love you to add your 5-star review to help spread this work as far as possible. Thank you!     

We are LOVING the excitement about the Pre-Engaged Workbook, which will be released soon.   (It is supposed to go live today, but isn't available yet... there is a hold-up in the review process. We will let you know once it goes live!)   ---   What I think happens a lot in marriages is a dynamic of competition.    They both want to impress their spouse, and both of them are clawing on top of each other trying to get the other one to notice them and admire them.    They’re trying to get their spouse to see that they’re doing a good job.   At the very same moment, the other spouse is trying to get them to see that they’re doing a good job and trying to impress them.   So each is trying to get their security and their approval and their sense of doing a good job from their spouse. And so this competition takes hold.    Instead of enjoying each other and the gift that they are---in the strengths and the differences---they are competing and they can’t see past their own hurt and lack of encouragement from their sp

I just have to apologize ahead of time because this headline is way too sensational. I can hear you saying, "It's frankly not realistic." I get it.  But, hear me out. (Or, hear him out...? :)   So, Hunter had twin 4-year-old girls. His wife was fed up with asking him to change. To pull his fair share. To be proactive in the family responsibilities.  She said she was done. They had talked about divorce in the past, but there was finality this time.  He could tell she was serious. And she was. This is when a lot of people would feel helpless and decide they're going to give up and end the marriage since their spouse wants a divorce.  Not Hunter. He had done a Clarity Call a year earlier and wasn't ready to take that step then. But knew, at this point, he had to dramatically change to save his marriage. He said, "At the beginning of the program, I had trouble getting just a few sentences out before I would bust out in tears..." Week in and week out Hunter plugged along.  But because of the amazing men in our pro

We're all insecure.  I am. You are.    We might not be insecure about the same things, but we've all got it.    Today, I want to talk about the insecurities that are common for women and the insecurities that are common for men. Spoiler alert: they're different.   But the insight most of us miss is that our specific insecurity in marriage actually is harming our spouse.  Because of the way our spouse is designed by God, if there are certain things missing in marriage, it pains them.  Deeply.   This is an episode I hope you'll take to heart.  Your insecurities may be harming your spouse.    Included in this episode: -What are insecurities? -What are yours as a husband or as a wife? -How are they affecting your spouse? -How to move past them? -How to get free of them?   I really hope this helps.    Blessings, Belah   PS - We'd love to have you on the inside of a program and witness God do something amazing in and through you! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc is the place to sign up for a free Clarity Call. When asked

Amber can tell you straight up... God has changed her.  For so many reasons, she would have said her behavior was warranted. (I know the feeling and have said the words myself!) And God was kind to open her eyes to her pride.  The pride that was ripping her husband apart.  And yet, God got her attention.  He stretched forth His hand and showed her what she couldn't see on her own.  He used her husband's leadership to bring her to a place of recognition of her sin.  And then she chose the humble and wise way.  I must say I am SO proud of Amber. How she has grown. How she now lives out the joy that God restored to her marriage!  It's worth celebrating. I hope you'll listen and be encouraged by what God has done in her heart (first), (then) in her marriage, and in her family.  Love and gratefulness for our amazing Father,  Belah PS - If you'd like to see how to transform your situation, we'd love to help. The first step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc   Client testimonial... before the ladies

There can only be 1 answer to this question: Yes, or No.    Well, who do you go to to answer questions like this? Do you have a pastor? A friend? A mentor? A favorite author? A researcher? A scientist? A porn counselor? An SA therapist? A previous user? Your own experience? Your own intuition?    Who has the authority in your life to answer this question? Ahem... "the great Belah Rose?"   Just so we're clear, when I said, "Let there be light"... it stayed dark. When your pastor said it... when your favorite author/researcher/friend/counselor/author/confidante said it... probably the same. Maybe there was a window already open, so God's light actually allowed it to be light... but ultimately, they don't have power or authority anywhere, ANYWHERE close to God.   God.    But is He the biggest authority to you?   Does what He says matter to you the MOST?   I invite you to pause. Ponder.  Are His words MOST important? To you?   Let's say, your answer is yes. But then, how do you know what God says... especially ab

I don't have to tell you that the enemy is out for families. Because the best-case scenario is a mom and dad that love each other raising children that grow up to be the men and women to do God's will in the earth. So, if the enemy can tear at the soul of the marriage. The most sacred part. The intimacy. Then the family crumbles.  But God. Wayne is so courageous to share what God has done because he knows it can help someone, maybe like you to know you're not alone.  This is a story I've heard many times. Wayne made a big error. One that could have changed his family's future to one completely different with so much pain and heartache.  When he was found out, it was the hardest days of their lives. It was devastating. A friend told him about Delight Your Marriage.  When he heard Mick's testimonial (Episode 363) he knew he had to do the program and he went ahead. It wasn't easy for him. It took ownership. It took struggle. It took perseverance. It took time. It took patience.  It took prayer. It took other men

Driving down the road, crying out to God.  And, maybe, the strongest he's ever heard the Lord responded to him. It wasn't rebuke. But an invitation.  He saw into the heart of God.  Real tears started rolling down his face. --- I invite you to listen to Dan's story.    Maybe it's not unlike yours... ...have a marriage, for some decades. ...have gone through struggles and broken dreams. ​ ​...have a couple of children. ​​...desire to be who God called him to be. ​​...desire to have the connection with God he hoped was available.   A friend at church shared with him about the podcast. He started listening to dozens of episodes... and eventually felt he needed to do a call.  He took the courage to have a Clarity Call with Dana.  Then found out his friend did the program and was on the podcast himself testifying of what God had done.  I hope you are encouraged that, just as God spoke to Dan, He wants that level of connection and intimacy with YOU.    I invite you to shut off distractions and go before Him... .

I should be clear... I don't struggle with this. The stories I share about my pride in this episode are a complete rarity. Almost never happens. ​I also don't struggle with lying... :D  (Just kidding :) I need this learning as much as anyone... which is why I'm excited to share what God is teaching me! ---- "My spouse needs to change..."  "[He is / She is] doing so many bad things...so many..." "There's nothing I can do unless [he / she] changes..."   I knew this was a disempowering mindset that I saw often. But it wasn't until this week when God confronted me with my pride, that I learned that "self-pity" is the sin of pride.    Ouch. But true.   (I learned this through the book by R. T. Kendall's The Power of Humility. I highly recommend it.) Wallowing in your pain isn't God's way.    "But I don't deserve to be treated like this!" I hear you.   Job didn't deserve his suffering either.  His suffering was profound.  Maybe yours is too.   Job started out strong. Even when others encouraged him to deny God's

Back 1.5 years ago, Taylor went through the men's program and witnessed God do some important work. Most important: in his heart.  But as Jesus says: For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” If the point of Delight Your Marriage is to help men and women get their heart right, then of course the rest would follow. My encouragement to you today, is focus on the heart. Focus on surrendering your heart to the Lord so He can free you of all of that which you hate. He is God and there is freedom with Him. Blessings, Belah PS - If you're looking for changes like this, we would love to help you on a Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc   From another recent graduate:  MR Grad: “GOD is certainly using DYM [Delight Your Marriage] to impact lives.”   Before MR: “Some of the biggest struggles I was facing were

We are indeed at war.  Now is not the time to walk idly by.  Now is not the time to pretend it's all just fine.  Now is not the time to think only about ourselves.   And your marriage matters during the tribulation.  Regardless of who endures the end times (our generation... or the next, or next, or next...) what you do or don't do in your marriage matters.   Whether or not Christianity is worthwhile to your kids can be significantly impacted by what they see in your marriage.   But what does preparing for the end times PRACTICALLY look like? What does marriage have to do with the end times? Actually, a lot. Well, I am hoping today's episode is entertaining and encouraging.    Thank you,  Belah   PS -  We'd love to help you delight your marriage. Your first (courageous, yet super easy -- and worth it!!) step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc   Men's Graduate Quote:  "Your program is so holy spirit inspired. I just continue to be amazed at the content in the teaching. I like that it was very p

As an Amish growing up, Donny has had quite the journey.  Just a couple of years ago after God rescued him from a very difficult place, his marriage actually was fairly good.    He found and listened to the podcast for quite a while and felt convicted that he needed to do the men's program.  He was content in his own marriage, he just wanted to know if he could recommend it to others.  But he was surprised to see how helpful it was to him personally, and his marriage grew even more than he thought possible. :)    Things got tricky when some people approached him with concern about the fact that I'm a lady in leadership.  Wisely so, he and his wife grappled with and prayed about it.  He distinctly felt the Lord speak to his heart about it. I would love for you to hear what he felt the Lord say.    I hope his story encourages you.    Love,  Belah   PS - If you would like to see how we can help you, take the courageous step and sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc   Delighted Wife Grad Quote:

As empty nesters, you know how they say you'll enjoy growing old together. Well, Kim says, "We were growing older, but not enjoying it." Kim was suffering in her marriage -- crying on her friend's shoulder. As they prayed that God would change it. Then, that friend told her about the podcast, the one you're listening to.  That friend also told her husband. After hearing all the testimonials, he joined the men's program.  Kim was kind of annoyed that he did this. Because she also listened to a couple of episodes and it pointed to areas of her marriage that she had wounding around. Things turned around... REALLY beautifully.  I know Russ, her husband, and Kim pretty well by now (after two years) and it has been remarkable seeing this couple grow.  Their first transformation story was episode 293 (be sure to check that out!). That was the first time I met Kim.  It's been amazing to have her in the Delighted Wife program and to see what God has done through it. May this story encourage you. There is hope. If you'

My heart goes out to any wife who has experienced sexual abuse. There are so many layers of pain... it's truly horrible.  As a husband, the evil that was done to your wife harmed her immeasurably. The person you love the most. And it impacted your marriage, your intimacy, and your life forever.    Is healing possible? What if she doesn't "DEAL WITH" her abuse? (Sometimes I hear men say that their hands are tied if she doesn't deal with her trauma.) Can a husband do anything?   I believe Bill's story can give you hope.  He would say, "Yes."    From many years of a full life but an empty marriage, he is thrilled to tell you, there is hope even for your marriage.  He has 43 years under his belt.  He was a self-diagnosed "podcast addict." :) Always looking to FIX his wife. He knew there had to be a solution. But nothing moved the needle ...until Delight Your Marriage.   He said after 3 months of the Masculinity Reclaimed program (MR)... from decades of passionless marriage, they feel "like 60-something teenagers

Clarity is crucial in a marriage because it allows individuals to gain self-awareness, understand their own emotions and behaviors, and without even realizing it, it can help you take responsibility for your part in the relationship dynamics. Maybe you didn't "cause it" but you haven't worked to solve it. When couples face challenges or conflicts, it's easy to blame each other or external factors without examining what is really going on under the surface of the behaviors. A Clarity Call encourages an individual to look carefully at themselves, their patterns, history, and reflect on their thoughts, feelings, actions, and current situation. Sign up for a free Clarity Call today! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc By engaging in a Clarity Call, individuals can identify their own patterns and unresolved issues that may be impacting the relationship. It helps them recognize their own biases, insecurities, woundedness, and areas for personal growth. Through a Clarity Call, individuals can better understand how their own