Delight Your Marriage

We invite you to listen in to Jameson's story. Jameson participated in the free MR Foundations course that we offered in March 2022, and then decided to enroll in the full Masculinity Reclaimed course. (We're offering the free course very soon for a very limited time - Sept. 12th! Sign up here!)  Having a good marriage, but wanting to take it to the next level, he learned of the free course and signed up for it. One of the first lessons in the free course "wrecked me," Jameson said. He realized that he had more work to do on himself than he had realized. The deep reflection caused him to see things that he couldn't see before. Another cool thing Jameson shared as an unexpected, but also "biggest game changer" result of him taking the Masculinity Reclaimed course, "was me growing with God." "I wish I could make everyone take the course." ~Jameson One important thing to remember about Jameson is that his wife joined the women’s program AFTER he did the work on himself. She was incredibly impressed with the resu

The FREE Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations training is back for the last time this year. If you missed it previously, join on September 12 -- sign up at delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining --  First of all. I'd like to tell you that I'm right in all that I do.  In fact, I'd like to say that I'm right... all the time.  I'd also like to tell you that I'm right even when others think I'm wrong. I'd especially like to tell you that I'm right when other people think I'm right. (I mean, isn't that extra confirmation that I am definitely right...?)   So, the truth is... [I have] become like something unclean, and all [my] righteous acts are like filthy rags (Is 64:6).   Even the things I think I did that are right... are filthy.  Even the things you think I did that were right... are filthy.    Oh, but then the things I did that were wrong! (The things I am sure were wrong... eek!)    I hope you see where I'm going with all of this.  You're in the same sad boat that I am.    And... it's sinking.    Seriously. Can y

Alternate Title: 7 Steps to a Productive Disagreement -- Arguing. Ugh. It's so... so... unhelpful. When have you left an argument where the dust has settled and you felt 100% good with everything you said -- your eyes, your words, your tones...? Everything.  In fact, how would you feel if your church congregation watched what you said and did?  Would you be proud of yourself?  Would you feel small and immature? Usually, after an argument, I only feel the latter.   To clarify, what I mean by arguing is having elevated emotions when we start using a stronger voice and intense words.  Essentially, the judging/reasoning/impulse-control part of our brains (pre-frontal cortex) goes offline during that stressful conversation and we're left with the "lizard brain" which only knows how to flight, fight, or freeze. All the wisdom that we have cultivated throughout all of our lives and have prayed for and read about, goes out of the window during an argument.  We say things we don't mean and throw verbal knives at each

Encouraging believers is a very biblical concept in the New Testament.  I want to encourage you in this episode.  I am praying for several people through this episode: 7:00 - invitation prayer 8:30 - prayer for men who feel like they're not leaders in their home 12:28 - men who are receiving frequency in intimacy, but it feels like a duty from their wife 14:30 - men who don't have frequency in intimacy and lack joy in their marriage 17:00 - women who have a critical and judgmental husband 19:45 - women who want to find pleasure and desire 23:30 - churches and ministries and pastors who would have courage to address the hard issues around sex, sin, desire, & God-designed passion May God give you grace and strength and encouragement - wherever you are in this mix. Or, if you want to agree and pray with me on these topics.   Love & Blessings, Belah   PS We're here to bring hope and help in all these areas of your marriage...we invite you to schedule a Clarity Call to see if we can help you. *"I speak the

I'm excited to share that my wonderful friend Darcy is here to share her story and advice for you! She is actually the Delight Your Marriage Office Manager, and she reads all of your emails and prays for all of those who are suffering and in such difficulty in their marriages. She often weeps for you and truly, truly cares about you and feels your pain for those of you who are in need of hope. Her conversation today reflects what God has done in her and what she prays He does in you. I am excited to let you hear what she has to say! Love, Belah -- Thank you, Belah, for giving me this opportunity. God is doing and has done so many amazing things and what an honor to testify of His power, love, and goodness! *“Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands.” Ps. 63:3-4 I pray that God speaks to and encourages many weary hearts through this podcast. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is

Well, first of all, I feel very ill-equipped to answer this question.    However, I don't think it serves you best for me to pretend that I don't know the limited things that I do believe God has taught me.    So, with that in mind, I'd like to share the general themes of today's episode -humility -the horrific humiliation of the cross  -how that makes us more surrendered followers -the necessity of solitude -the reality of our nothingness which we will only perceive should we stay in solitude long enough -how I wrestle and fight pride and seek humility -- and how I always hope to.    May this draw you closer to who God wants you to be.    Blessings, Belah   Invitation: Would you like help in your marriage? We truly do care and so does God! Have you given up hope of change? God can do the impossible! We invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call with a caring, understanding advisor here at Delight Your Marriage. Click here to schedule. Here is what one man shared about the Clarity Call experience: “Fear and s

When God said, "Let there be light," something amazing happened.  When I said, "Let there be light," ummm... well... I felt silly and 0 things, amazing or not, happened.   I guess I'm just not God. Which is surprising?    No, it's not.  But, the world thinks we get to decide who God is.  Unfortunately, too many Christians feel that way, too.    It's tragic.  God is not us.  And we don't get to live by feelings.  We don't get to say, "Today I feel x, so it must be true."   A follower of Jesus -- surrendered -- taking up his/her cross -- dying to his/herself -- is not led by his/her feelings.  Feelings of right and wrong... Feelings of attraction or non-attraction (to spouse or many types of others...) Feelings of desire for sexual intimacy... Feelings of pleasure in sex...    Does this mean as a follower of Jesus you have to do things you don't want to do?  ... Ummm... ... Yes.   Does it mean that you have to do what the Bible says? ... Ummm... ... Yes.   Are there things I don't LIKE that the Bible says? Yes.

Are you hurting in your marriage? Is emotional, physical or spiritual intimacy tough for your relationship? Do you want to grow in your connection with your spouse and your walk with God? You matter...your marriage and family matters...to God and to us at Delight Your Marriage! We want you to know that there is ALWAYS hope!  As long as there is breath in the lungs, there is hope. God is a God of the impossible and still a God of miracles! As a team, we are honored and humbled to see them regularly. As humans, do we always get what we want? No. Do all struggles go away? No.  That's not what we're talking about.  Jesus said that in this world we WILL have trouble but to take heart because He has overcome the world! Here at Delight Your Marriage, we take Jesus' words very seriously and believe in God's transforming power! He has transformed all of us and we have seen Him transform a whole lot of other people as well! In that process, a LOT of times, marriages are healed and/or improved! Families are healed and/o

I am sharing the episode that has the most downloads at Delight Your Marriage of all time!   Blessings, Belah PS - Also, I have many free resources and would love to invite you to check them out: delightyourmarriage.com/free PPS - If you need help with your marriage -- do not hesitate to apply for a free Clarity Call. One of our Clarity Advisors (a former graduate of a DYM course themselves and experienced transformation in their own marriage) will guide you through the process to determine how we can help you. Sign up at delightyourmarriage.com/cc A recent grad wrote, "I could probably fill a journal with the celebrations I experienced in the program!... By far, the biggest celebrations have been what God has done in my heart! Our sex life has never been better… our times of making love are passionate, tender, emotional and spiritual."

If your marriage is still plagued by your past mistakes -- she brings up what happened 20 years ago... or he brings up how you used to be all the time...   What can you do to heal it? How can you two move forward and actually build a better marriage?    I would like you to remember some important scriptures on this topic:  It is His kindness that leads us to repentance. He disciplines those He loves.  Whoever heeds discipline shows the ways to life.   And then this is the one that's super practical:  "if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."   How do you reconcile?  Apologize.    How do you make your apologies effective?  That is what I want to walk through with you on this episode.   I want you to have all of the know-how to get out there and do the scary, excruciating but necessary thing of owning your side and apologizi

When I look back on my life -- when I see what is currently unseen -- when I see Jesus face to face -- when all has been revealed... I am convinced I will be BLOWN AWAY by the love I never realized He truly had for me.  In the Bible, it says that God feeds the birds. (Mt 6:26) He FEEDS the birds.    I was observing birds yesterday in the park.  There are tons of them, flitting around, this way and that.  And yet the God of the universe cares about His creation, so much so, that He Himself feeds the birds!    He is intimately aware of your life and what you're going through.  And He is feeding you. He is clothing you. He is giving you far more than just that. He wants you to realize that in every good AND in every suffering, He remains good.  There is SO much you (and I) cannot see.  He allows suffering for His reasons only He can see. But when you trust this truth that He is the one that gives everything that is right in your life -- it allows you to see the suffering better. You can endure the suffering with

You're doing it. You want to hear where you might need to grow. You want to see where you might not see yet. That was Meredith's heart and what led to their amazing transformation.    It is God's kindness to lead us to repentance.  He loves those He disciples.  What are Christians...? Who are Christ-followers...? What is a Disciple of Jesus? We're the ones who ask: "Jesus, what do you want to teach me? What can I learn to be more like you? How can I walk more in your will today? Show me. Teach me. Guide me."   We are all broken and blind to many things. (I am in that category, for sure!)  We are all missing some things that others already know -- because God opened their eyes.   If you click this episode, I am proud of you. You are seeking how you might need to change. You are seeking what God might want to show you, too, just as He opened Meredith's eyes.    This is a story of transformation from a woman who chose to see the world as God set it up.  Not because it's easy.  Not because it's "natural". Not bec

If you have temptations to jealousy, here's what I recommend.  If you've listened to the transformation stories and become upset, angry, bitter, resentful... I want to give you some ideas on what to do. I get that way too. I have certain triggers that throw me completely off.  You might as well.  I want to give you some ideas on how I deal with my triggers.  And I want you to get really CURIOUS about what you can learn from these triggers to jealousy and how you can end the cycle.    Blessings, Belah   PS -- We'd love to help you on a Clarity Call, feel free to sign up for a free one here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc We get to see miracles everyday and we'd love to help you.

I've been there.  Angry because he wouldn't change.  Hurt because he wasn't giving me what I needed. And God was kind to me.  He helped me to see that there were places in my heart that needed to be utterly changed.  This journey to freedom in your marriage is one that should start with the heart.  If you're a wife, you may see yourself in Emily's story. I know I do.  If you're a husband, you can see more of how you can serve and love your wife, and also, have hope that God can do miracles in your marriage.  Looking forward to you being blessed by God's kindness through this testimony of Jesus' transformation. Blessings, Belah PS - If you'd like to find out how your marriage can shift in the ways Emily speaks about, I invite you to join a free Clarity Call ($300 value) at delightyourmarriage.com/cc We'd love to serve you and witness God do a miracle in your life as well. Schedule now: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Last year, Belah was part of the special intimacy expert panel in the 2021 Sex Seminar (a hug

"I was pretty much done with life...I wouldn't have minded if I passed away. If this is all life has to offer, what's the point?"   A father of 7. Deep sadness of his inner life.  Deep pain. Desperation.   But then... God did an incredible, incredible, incredible thing.   This title doesn't by any means tell the whole story. But I want you to hear the incredible result that God did. (My other suggested title was "Zero/yr to 5x/wk and She Didn't Know He Did the Program!") However, the process is what God did in His heart and the fruits showed up in his marriage and intimacy.   And after 10 months of nothing, she started initiating (A LOT) and loving him the way he receives love (in response to his change.)   My favorite part of this story? That there are seven children growing up in a happy home. A man who no longer hopes for the end, but one who looks forward to what God is doing through and in his life. That is a good God story. Blessings, Belah PS -  If you'd like to have access to the program that Ken to

They're saying a lot of hurtful things. They're saying it in a mean tone of voice. Their face has the look of disgust, or worse.   You can feel your temperature rising.  You can feel your face getting red.  You can feel your rage welling up from the pit of your belly.    Is it righteous indignation? Is it because they need godly correction -- and fast? Is it that you're just plain tired of being unfairly beaten down?   Well... In the midst of that moment of emotional alarm... When the atomic bomb is counting down and it feels like everything has to happen right then, or else... And your "wise brain" - the prefrontal cortex - has gone completely offline and your "childish/immature brain" is the only thing left and can't seem to see anything but red alarm bells everywhere...   Here are 3 tools to dismantle the bomb BEFORE the explosion detonates and destroys and/or damages all that you hold dear ...hurting the people you love the most - those you're assigned by God to protect, respect, love, and cherish.   But

SO much packed in here, but I tried to narrow it down so you have a helpful summary. We go deep in this episode, I really think it'll help you. Three points are made in this episode: 1 - Your feelings are God given and He wants to do something because of them. 2 - It is healthy and even Jesus-like to express your frustration emotions (without hurting anyone) and grieve through your sad emotions (tears are important). 3 - Regardless of your lot in life, it is your responsibility (not your family of origin, perhaps you didn't have a good role model, maybe you were exposed to porn, or your wife doesn't have wholehearted sex with you every other day...) to correctly follow God with your emotions.    A lot of men learned to deal with frustration through masturbation and/or pornography. It was a very tactical way to get frustration out of their body.  However, that stunted the opportunity to get frustration out in a healthy way, so that their brains could develop in the way God wanted it to -- with empathy, gentlen

This is a great sadness to me. When a wife steps out (even an inch) from her comfort zone and her husband mishandles this vulnerability.  Whether it's an inch sexually or in any part of their relationship...vulnerability should be appreciated and complimented and encouraged.  Your response to her discovery of more sexual freedom (big or small) should be, "Oh! How can I love HER more, too?" Not, "Oh, how can I perfect/change/improve her attempts?" Because the second piece undermines her sexual freedom. That is what saddens me and makes me pray that God will help me do this thing better.  That's why it grieves me at times that my podcast can be heard by both men and women... because the enemy WANTS your focus to be on yourself.  The enemy wants you to be focused on whether or not you're getting your "fair share". Or on "how can she love me better".  But if we can be more like Christ and put the focus on the other "how can I love her better?" How can her attempts to love me... inspire me to love HER!? That's the

I never want to "get over" the miracles we see, daily. But, you will be blown away by what God continues to do. It can happen for you. It can happen for your friend. It can happen for your acquaintance.  Families do NOT need to be torn apart. Husbands do not need to cry in their cars of loneliness due to lack of intimacy. Kids do not need to grow up fearful and stressed because of the strife in the home. Ministries don't need to be undermined by leadership infidelity (privately or publicly.) God can change it all.  It's not automatic.  It is a system.  A strategy. A... program.  By God's grace, He uses "Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy & love being married again" for amazing purposes.  For His glory. Listen in to understand that the work is heart work but the results are true healing, connection & intimacy. Could it all be different in just 3 months? Maybe! For these gents -- it was! Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/minvite  Blessings, Belah PS - This cohort closes Monday, Ap

(Enrollment is open for Masculinity Reclaimed program -- check it out here delightyourmarriage.com/minvite -- closes April 4, 2022) -- Skeptical. Yep, that's Bill :)  (Ehemm, *was* Bill). I don't blame him. He had been through it. His first marriage didn't work out.  He came to peace with being single for the rest of his life, until his (now) wife came along.  Things were good for a while. Until they weren't. And then that lasted 20 years.  Bill went through these two major heartbreaks... there's only so much heartbreak we can go through til we don't want to have hope that it could change.  Why would it. How could it. It's been like this for so long.  Well, though skeptical, he thought he would try the program just for the betterment of himself.  And he worked hard -- ups and downs -- because it's real life. But after a year of continuing what he learned -- he's here to say that it can change.  Completely.  God brought him closer to Himself than he had been for many years. And God utterly transformed their ma