The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: If men are the gas and women are the brakes (per guest Emily Nagoski in The Art of Charm podcast episode 414), how does this apply in a marriage that fizzles out in the sex department? Are you a better teacher than a performer of a certain skill? What does it say about you when your students constantly surpass your level of expertise? A veteran weighs in to help a fellow brother-in-arms readjust to civilian work life as addressed in Fan Mail Friday #61. [For further reference, here's a link to the Treble Victor Group for ex-servicemen and women who find themselves in the same boat.] Sure, it's a red flag when the father of your significant other calls out of the blue to impugn their character -- but is this really a warning about your partner or just the sanity of a potential future in-law? The only kind of cockblocker you want in your life is th

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda), therapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, revisits the show to discuss how we can maintain strong romantic relationships for years beyond the initial hormones of early love. The Cheat Sheet: Like seasons, tides, and other natural processes, love goes through very distinct, predictable cycles through which we can weather and thrive over the long term with preparation. Romance is based on science, not superstition. Why does falling in love make us crazy? Because we're experiencing the Merge -- the first of these love cycles -- governed by body chemistry (hormones) that intoxicates us to operate outside our "normal" parameters of behavior. The bad news: the Merge -- so named because it elates us with a feeling of unity with another person where our boundaries are merged together -- is temporary. The chemicals wear off. The good news: we can rekindle the chemistry of the Merge with our current partner if we overcome the cycles of Doubt and D

Dr. Melanie Watkins (@MWatkinsMD) is a psychiatrist who emphasizes the importance of making mental health a priority by minimizing the mystery -- and sometimes the misery -- of mental illness and addiction treatment. The Cheat Sheet: Maintaining mental health is as serious as maintaining physical health -- and there should be no shame in seeking help for either. What signs commonly signal a need to seek help from a mental health professional? Central nervous system depressants abused as an alternative to mental health maintenance usually exacerbate the symptoms of an illness rather than relieving them. What can we do to destigmatize the very act of seeking help from a mental health professional? What are the first steps we can take toward getting mental health treatment? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-melanie-watkins-mental-health-first-episode-511/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what he

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: How do you deal with success anxiety when you find yourself deviating from an ambitious schedule? A disappointed Christian listener begs to differ with some advice Jordan gave to a curious virgin in Fan Mail Friday #60. Your boss keeps hounding you to take a managerial job you don't really want. The kicker: you're a woman, and you get the impression he doesn't want to hike your wages to match what a male in a similar role at your company makes. What's your next move? As an outsider, how do you know when to engage your significant other's family when they start having a drunken domestic incident? Can you ever fit in with your coworkers when most of them enjoy gossiping and office games while at work, and you're more of the type who prefers to work hard and leave the office when you're done? If you're a woman who's undergone a double mastectomy, ho

AmyK Hutchens (@AmyKHutchens), author of The SecretsLeaders Keep: Insightful Stories And Provocative Questions ThatUnlock The Hidden Secrets To Winning Big In Business And Lifetells us how we can think more critically, solve our problems morequickly, build momentum, be more productive, and be more profitablefaster.The Cheat Sheet:No matter how accomplished you think you are,developing critical thinking skills and learning to see the worldwith a fresh perspective will help you adapt to whatever newproblems and changes lay ahead.Inviting participants to create question-based agendasmake professional meetings worth having (instead of wastingeveryone's time).Learn how to spark engagement and garner buy-in fromothers for meaningful interactions.What are the two most common fears leadershave?Ask yourself these two questions that will shift yourperspective every single time you have to make adecision.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amyk-hutchens-secrets-leaders-keep-episode

Dr. Duana Welch (@duanawelch), author of Love Factually: 10Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, rejoins us to discuss theevolution of love.The Cheat Sheet:What are some of the core differences between men andwomen?Learn how men and women have shaped each otherpsychologically and biologically over the course of humanevolution.What do women and men lie about?Why do men tend to be more ambitious thanwomen?How does jealousy differ between women andmen?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/duana-welch-evolution-love-episode-509/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and writeus a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd andhelp people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering yourquestions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kickthe weekend off right.In this episode:Your overall confidence is low and your desperationrises as you seek a new job in a new town with no luck yet -- andany hope of dating seems to be following the same pattern. What doyou do?You're in your twenties and it's the first long-termrelationship for both of you. Hesitation over a proposal leads to abreakup, though you stay in touch and hope remains that thingsmight still work out between you. Is it okay if you don't haveeverything figured out yet?How do you show your older siblings you've come a longway since you were the "dumb" kid in the family?You got drunk to counter the anxiety you feel in socialsituations and said some things to your friends for which you maynever be forgiven. How do you approach them to express regret andtry to make things right (while cutting back on the drinking sothis doesn't become a common occurance)?Are women more

Dan Millman (@pwdan) revisits the show to talk about his newlyupdated book The Four Purposes of Life: Finding Meaning andDirection in a Changing World.The Cheat Sheet:Earth/life is a school and daily life is yourclassroom.Career and calling are two different things (and don'tnecessarily need to be merged).Learn why we're here to fulfill four fundamentalpurposes in life -- and what they are).Find direction in life when faced with seeminglydifficult challenges.Clarify your hidden calling with Dan's Life PurposeCalculator.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dan-millman-four-purposes-life-episode-508/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and writeus a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd andhelp people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kimberly Seltzer (@SeltzerKimberly) returns to the show to share her formula for creating and maintaining a confident body image based on the body we have over the body we might wish we had. This pertains to women and men, so there should be something here for everyone!The Cheat Sheet:What is the definition of confidence, and why are some of us more confident than others?Why is it that so many of us don't love our bodies?Pinpoint your current body type and the options it gives you.Discover the clothes that flatter your figure and enhance your confidence versus ones that deplete it.Kimberly shares exercises for shedding old thought processes about body image and confidence and replacing them with newer, healthier ones.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kimberly-seltzer-body-image-confidence-episode-507/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the cred

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.In this episode:If you're going through the trouble of enduring so-called "networking events," should you suffer the fools you meet there gladly in hopes their business sense outweighs their social sense?Is pursuing a career on Wall Street a no-brainer? Come on! All your friends are doing it...When you're experiencing a new career and the benefit of discretionary income for the first time in your life, how do you handle the divide it's causing between you and your longtime -- but less fortunate -- friends?Is recreational drug use as a college student a no-brainer? Come on! All your friends are doing it...Two-time (but not two-timing) AoC guest Duana Welch weighs in on why science tells us men are more emotional than women.How can people in a long-distance relationship build trust that overrides concern the other party might cheat?Why is playing Devil's Advocate a b

Neil Pasricha (@1000Awesome), author of The Happiness Equation, shares counterintuitive and practical happiness hacks to help us elevate ourselves into greater positivity and productivity every day using real action-oriented models and frameworks to think about how we do the things we do. The Cheat Sheet: The happiness model we're taught from a young age is backwards -- we should lead with happiness instead of regarding it as some kind of end-game reward for enduring the burdens of life. Happiness is a learnable, teachable skill -- there are specific exercises you can do in just 20 minutes a day to train your brain to be happy. Keep just three simple goals in mind to ensure happiness. No matter what your pessimistic and optimistic friends tell you, the glass isn't half-empty or half-full -- it's refillable. Don't let comparison kill your joy -- you'll never be number one out of seven billion in the world at anything. Let that be a relief to you! And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/po

Karen Baetzel (@BattleAxe57) started BattleAxe Consulting to sharpen leaders -- for work and for life -- through experiential and multi-channel training using military aviation principles. She insists they have fun doing it, too!The Cheat Sheet:Learn about military aviation culture and what helpful tips it can teach us about attention and respect. Understand the crucial difference between procedure and technique.Why are precision language habits necessary?If you aren't doing your leadership "dirty work," then who is?Find out what this self-described "battleaxe" wishes civilians knew about leadership and service.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/karen-baetzel-battleaxe-consulting-episode-505/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Ch

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.In this episode:How do you meet new people for platonic relationships while making it clear that you're not available for anything romantic or sexual (while avoiding coming across as presumptuous)?How can you overcome your own self-limitations to start living life for yourself instead of catering to the whims and validation of others?You're a divorced parent of two in your forties and stuck in suburbia for custody reasons until the kids go to college. What dating prospects can you expect?You've placed your own college education on hold under the condition you'd return once your spouse graduated. Four days after they got their degree, you separated. Now what?For the sake of your own relationship's balance, how do you encourage your significant other to develop outside friendships?We spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think about us. But what do you

Kira Asatryan (@KiraAsatryan) discusses the epidemic of loneliness felt by modern Americans -- millennials in particular -- and how it can be countered by closeness, the foundation of all happy and long-lasting relationships. She is the author of Stop Being Lonely: Three Simple Steps to Developing Close Friendships and Deep Relationships.The Cheat Sheet:One in five Americans suffers from chronic loneliness (and among millennials, the percentage is even higher). Time Magazine slates it as the next big public health crisis.Because loneliness isn't as readily identifiable as depression, many -- especially men -- choose to suffer it in silence.Cultivating close relationships with others counters this loneliness, and it's a skill that can be learned rather than an inherent quality that only the lucky few possess.What is loneliness? What is closeness?How does social media -- in spite of keeping us in touch with possibly hundreds or thousands of people -- exacerbate loneliness for many?And so much more...Show notes

Kimberly Seltzer (@SeltzerKimberly) is a dating and makeover expert who draws upon her experience as a therapist for an inside-out approach to helping people look and feel their best. We welcome her back to the show to share the top five mistakes women make when trying to attract a man.The Cheat Sheet:Is it really true that "there are no good men out there?"Do you feel like the one who never gets approached or, if you do the approaching, you never get the response you're looking for?Body language, first impressions, messaging, social confidence, and your image play a huge role in how you come across to potential romantic partners.With which of the five archetypes of women do you most strongly identify -- and which mistakes are you most prone to make when trying to attract a man?What's the secret weapon that will help you overcome the mistakes commonly made by your prevailing archetype?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/kimberly-seltzer-top-5-mistakes-women-make-when-try

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.In this episode:What do you do for the friend who seems to need you as a cheerleader to pursue their life goals, but won't make any progress toward those goals on their own?You used to be the life of the party, but now social situations leave you feeling drained. Is there a way to regain emotional and mental endurance?An advanced degree doesn't have to come from an Ivy League school to demonstrate that you're serious about improving yourself."Getting drunk and high used to help lower my inhibitions so I could enjoy things, but now I've found that, when I'm in a good place spiritually, I'm simply not so inhibited any more."The idea of a "covert contract" applies just as much to places and things as it does to people, and sometimes we even make these contracts with ourselves. Does your current romantic interest really need to know how inexperienced you are at this st

Bert Jacobs (@Lifeisgood) is co-founder and CEO (Chief Executive Optimist) of The Life is Good Company, which spreads the power of optimism through inspiring art, a passionate community, and groundbreaking nonprofit work. He's also the co-author of the recently published Life is Good: The Book.The Cheat Sheet:Why is optimism so important?How did Bert Jacobs and his brother John turn a t-shirt company that operated from a van into a multi-million dollar business celebrating optimism?Gratitude is just one "superpower" unlocked by practicing optimism -- we talk about nine more.Learn how these superpowers allow you to overcome obstacles and embrace opportunities.Less is more: why do simple things often resonate more than the complex?And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/bert-jacobs-life-good-episode-502/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible

Chris Guillebeau (@chrisguillebeau) is a bestselling author and host of the annual World Domination Summit. He's here to tell us how his new book Born for This will help you find the work you were meant to do.The Cheat Sheet:Why don't more people pursue a life of freedom/independence?The actual lottery isn't hackable, but the career lottery is.A side hustle isn't just "nice," it's a necessity.Learn the difference between hard and soft skills (and which are more valuable in the long run).Don't think like a CEO -- think like a janitor.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/chris-guillebeau-born-episode-501/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.AJ fills in for Jordan this time around, so let's cut to it!In this episode:The cold shoulder is a poor way to communicate. How do you react when you're on the receiving end of this faulty connection?As complicated as all other factors in your younger sibling's life seem to be, they'll better fall into place if you set the example of positive role model first.These are the narcissists in your neighborhood. But do they really think they're better than you, or is it the other way around?How do you work yourself out of the funk caused by the worries of "real" life when it's ruining the drive you used to have for pursuing regular exercise and a vibrant social life?Can a long-distance relationship based more on intellect and reason rather than passion survive?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com

Dan Harris (@danbharris) is a co-anchor of Nightline and the weekend edition of Good Morning America on ABC News. He's the author of 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works -- A True Story, about a fidgety, skeptical newsman who reluctantly became a meditator.The Cheat Sheet:If you're like most people, your deceptive inner voice acts as a malevolent puppeteer -- and it doesn't have your best interests at heart.When trying to come to terms with this malevolent puppeteer, meditation is more effective (and much easier) than you probably think.Contrary to popular misconception, meditation is more than just thinking about nothing (that's reserved for Zen masters and dead people).Even those of us with short attention spans (like Dan Harris) can learn to focus for the nanoseconds it takes to meditate and use it to come to terms with our malevolent puppeteer.The mindfulness found through meditation is a way to view the contents of o