Elite Rugby Banter

The Boks sent the BaaBaas packing but not without a few boxes of South African wine. Rassie started the season doing Rassie things with Esterhuizen playing flank, while Kolbe continued to embarrass opposition but not as much as O'Mahony getting swindled like Eskom buying an exorbitant dummy from SAFM. In other news, the Junior Sprintboks (sic) sped their way to a dominant scoreline against Aus, and the B&I Lions Forced their way to 50 in Western Australian to kickstart their tour Down Under. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

Ant, Phil and Andy recap the two season finales for URC and Super Rugby as well as the non-Test between the B&I Lions (minus Leinster) and Argentina (minus most of their first choice French clubbers). The Lions head off to Australia with more questions than answers but Ant like a good Brit thinks this might be a good thing. The Super Clubs of Leinster and the Crusaders add more trophies to their storied histories, and the Bulls bullies get taught a lesson at Choke, I mean Croke, Park. Meanwhile, attention turns to the Test window, with an appetizer in the form of the BaaBaas in Cape Town who have already run up significant bills at Caprice in Clifton if rumours are to be believed.

From the pressure cooker (kicker?) of Kingsmead to the doldrums of Scotstoun and the predictable fortresses of Loftus and the Aviva, the URC quarter finals are now behind us. One South African side will appear in a fourth consecutive final, but who will it be? Will wily Willie outwit the wing-center Hooker? The Champions Cup final was a humdinger, but was Pollock a pillock or a Saint? Finally, will the Antipodean fans be able to grasp the inanity of the Super Rugby Pacific knockout (kinda, but not really?) round? (Hint: we struggled.) Have a listen to find out. PS. A big congrats to Ant and Phil, winners of our SRP and URC draft leagues, respectively! Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

Hey! Remember us? It's been a while, but that means there's plenty to talk about. URC and Super Rugby Pacific approach their business ends while the announcement of a Lions tour gives us plenty to chew on. Is the fate of the Crusaders tied to Will Jordan's knee? Is Mack Hansen injured or is it just a conspiracy? And why is he banned on Hinge? Is Andy older than a potato? Find out here. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

Is Hooker a hooker? Is Tizzano a hooker? What about Henco? Or Marnus? Spoiler: probably only the last one. But listen anyway to find out. It has been a while! Ant, Phil and Andy quickly recap the lost episode wrapping up the Six Nations before turning to the tail end of the URC and a highly entertaining Super Rugby Pacific edition. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

A very special in-person episode was recorded for your pleasure, seeing a return of not only Andrew but Ant's rants and Super Rugby Pacific. The reunited trio look ahead to the rugby extravaganza that is SRP, asking the deep questions like who can stop the Blues, can the Crusaders get any worse and will all of the Australians improve without the Rebels. We also look back on the first two weeks of the 6 Nations (Rugby's Greatest Championship™) as Ant lets his feelings known strongly about their claim to be the best and at all of the big news from the rugby world including the inevitable demise of one Warren Gatland. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

Better late than never! Ant has a lot to get off his chest after a couple of months away. Joined by Phil, the duo assess the state of play for the South African teams in the URC and Champions/Challenge Cup before diving into a 6 Nations preview. Can the Sharks go all the way in the URC? What is wrong with the Stormers? Will the Bulls and Lions make their games in hand count? And will Wales finally break their losing streak? All these questions answered and more! Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

The Boks have dominated the Player of the Year nominees, but will World Rugby conspire to select another Irish backrower? Phil and Andy launch the #JusticeForOx campaign as they ask whether rugby will always let props eat cake without proper recognition. The duo shine the spotlight on the latest fixtures like Stade de France did on the haka, and then sidestep like Kolbe to consider the impending Cardiff feast. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

The former colonies dominated as the South swept aside the imperialist North in the Autumn Nations Series as cocky fans' egos swelled more than Kolisi's eye socket. Bok supporters are still unhappy with four tries to none, while Will Jordan keeps advancing on Dougie Howlett's record. Australia get a famous win despite being a Schmidt team, and Fiji hand Wales off in entertaining fashion. Lots to talk about in this week's bumper episode of Elite Rugby Banter. Strap-in for a bum-per episode this week. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

Is Marcus Smith the Messiah? Or was it a bad Ford to cross. Are Scotland the real deal, or are Fiji just anti W(h)ales? Can anyone stop Sititi or Telea (spoiler, you'll find out on Friday). The gang (sans Bird) run the rule over what each team (including Kenya) would deem a success for the autumn/spring/November/end of year tour. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

Dick takes a swing at hosting as the team recaps the URC progress of the South African teams. Listen in as the misinformed mispronounce and sometimes miss the point, unlike David (Richard no T) Kriel against Benetton. To sweeten things up, dessert is served in the form of a quick preview of the upcoming international fixtures as well.

The Boks sign off on a wildly successful Rugby Championship campaign in emphatic style in Mbombela, while the All Blacks heap further misery on an admittedly Schmidt Wallaby team. Then, in the URC, the Lions and Bulls enjoy the comforts of home while the Sharks and Stormers succumb to the frigid northern climes. Has Ox done enough to be the first prop to win World Rugby Player of the Year? Will all four nominees be Springboks? Will the Stormers ever win overseas? Find out in this week's episode. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

The Boks return from Argentina with their tails between their legs, much like the Lions who threw away a full-time lead when the Sharks smelled blood in the water at Ellis Park. Adam returns to the pod with Andy and Phil to recount the Currie Cup final matchday experience and put the magnifying glass to the mysterious case of Manie's missing compass. The panel predicts the Boks to put the BOMB back in Mbombela this weekend, though. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

The Boks are Argentina hoping to give the Pumas a Moer(at)ing with a much-changed side, while the Currie Cup reaches its zenith with the Sharks traveling to Joburg to take on the Lions. Will Esterhuizen lead Ant's boys to their second trophy in succession? Or will Nohamba take his revenge on his old employers and sent Phil into a frenzy? Oh, also, the Bledisloe Cup is now the wooden spoon playoff for The Rugby Championship. What a time to be alive. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

It's the first Freedom Cup in 15 years, the first 4 consecutive wins over our greatest rivals since 1949, and Marx gets to 100 (points) before Willie becomes a centurion. Overall, it's a remarkable time to be a Bok. Also in this episode - in the Currie Cup, Western Province are the coriander, Lions are enjoying a birds-eye view at the top of the log, and the Sharks are the real-deal Durban masala. And where to for the woeful Wallabies after their Pumas mauling? Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

The Springboks toppled the All Blacks at Ellis Park in Johannesburg in a tense, tight affair but it's all to play for in Cape Town as both teams will come out firing. Join the gang as they discuss all things Springboks and All Blacks, as they get ready to watch the blockbuster of a match at Cape Town Stadium this weekend. Also discussed are Ant's grievances with the entire nation of New Zealand, as salty Kiwis come out of the woodwork, exciting plans for future All Blacks tours to South Africa and vice-versa, and some murmurings of the tail end of the Currie Cup. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

Rassie has been ice cold with his selections this week, proving he's not a Fassi eater. Will Sacha flake on the biggest stage of his career? Will the artificially sweetened bomb squad have the desired aftertaste? Will the new lock combination melt or glisten? One thing is for sure - the action won't be vanilla as the Boks take on the All Blacks this weekend. Also, Kristen, we love your ice cream. Please can we have one on the house?

A rare four-man front row gathered to discuss the latest Bok test, as well as some Currie Cup and u18 action. Who were your winners and losers of the Bok tour Down Under? And is the All Black touring squad instilling any fear? Find out here on Elite Rugby Banter. Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

The Bok team has been announced for the Brisbane Barney and the boys are frothing. Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu (SAFM to his mates and the pod) headlines the announcement as the starting flyhalf, with some other notable talking points ahead of the Southern Hemisphere's signature competition. Is this the Boks' chance to make a statement and perhaps be the best team between World Cups as well as during? Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.

In a second-ever happenstance, our three regulars found themselves around the same table. Are Australia the form team of World Rugby? Is the smart money on Manie, or is Sacha such a talent? Is McKenzie the real MacDaddy or just macaroni? Does Ant support the NovaVit Griffons now? Music by @monstroid, 80s TV Show.