The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert

Caller Question: "I am in the process of filing for divorce. I feel it was the right decision, however now that Have been out of the situation that caused a nervous system overload, and as the hurt caused is starting to fade, I am more clearly able to see my role/issues/shortcomings I played a role in in the marriage (critical, expecting him to live up to my husband “manual”, layering shame on top of his already existing shame) the list goes on … this is leaving me with conflicting feelings… and it hurts. It isn’t fun to see that I guess my question is how do I sort through the feelings of the divorce being what I needed to do and feeling like … I could have done much better at ex//(Not layering on the shame whenever he made a mistake/speaking my truth calmly when triggered )… the feeling is maybe there is more I could have done? I am feeling a responsibility for the situation too where I hadn’t really before…. Kind of a messy, unorganized question, but these are my thoughts. Thanks for your time!" We'd love