Random Assault

This week on Random Assault, we discuss how women secretly have all the power in the world, talk about who we think should win the Smash Bros ballot, wonder how candy cigarettes were ever a thing, and discuss how we lost our respective innocence. Also we find out that Kate peed in a sock. Because nothing surprises me in this world anymore. SEGMENT 1: - Mitch watched a hot air balloon crash (kinda) - Iron Sheik documentary - David will correct us on everything wrong - Lesbians have all the privilege; those sexist pigs - KATE PEED IN A SOCK - Social justice warriors are retards, as usual SEGMENT 2: - Candy cigarettes - Throat singing - Smash Bros Fighter Ballot Top 10 SEGMENT 3: - Jokes - Losing our viriginity - Sexual Goosebumps books

This week on Random Assault, listener Jesse joins us! He and the gang discusses their first kiss experiences, how Adventure Time has fallen off the wagon, and of course, the greatness that is Fred Durst.

This week on Random Assault, listener Richard "Danger" Colina joins us to talk a whole heck of a lot about Majora's Mask, tell us about Worm, and partake in probably the dumbest gaming trivia quiz you'll ever hear. With a hentai game being the prize. Yup. It's one of those episodes. SEGMENT 1: - eHow tutorials are drawn by retards - Video Games Live - Rich finally gets to talk about Majora's Mask SEGMENT 2: - The Big Retarded Video Game Quiz - More Mortal Kombat lore - MKX DLC FTL - Splatterhouse SEGMENT 3: - Miami Vice - The 80's romanticized - Worm is good evidently - More behind-the-scenes nonsense - Steve Allen the Cokehead - Miami Vice: AWWWWW SHIIIIIEEEET - Star Trek: The Next Generation. Again.

This week on Random Assault, David Rhinehart joins us again to talk all about kooky spooky conspiracy theories! We write a Mario movie as made by Spike Lee, we have a quiz to give a lucky listener Hotline Miami 2, and Mitch discovers that Frito Lay is part of the Illuminati! True believers should listen! SEGMENT 1: - Alex's man-and-marlin-shaped spacesuit - The Telltale Collection - Haitians, voodoo, and Christianity - Star Trek: The Next Generation is crappy, so says Matt. - Alex bought a smart TV - Mario: A Spike Lee Joint SEGMENT 2: - We do a quiz show to win copies of of Hotline Miami 2! For fans even! - ILLUMINATI DORITOS SEGMENT 3: - MORE QUIZ SHOW!

This week on Random Assault, Alex is off at PAX East but briefly drops in via crazy future transmissions! Replacing him this week is David Rheinharghdt who discusses with us comics like Multiversity, Zelda (yes again), and the convoluted history of Metal Gear.

This week on a very special Random Assault, we're joined by none other than John Parrish, aka Jax from Mortal Kombat! He discusses working on the original games, and then he and Matt talk fitness for about six hours. Then we mourn Leonard Nimoy (topical as always), talk about how overrated the N64 Zeldas are, and discuss weird PS2 gems. SEGMENT 1: - Jax from Mortal Kombat is here and Alex is constantly about to cum - Health tips from Jax - He was also a stripper and on Jerry Springer SEGMENT 2: - Leonard Nimoy has died - Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time are kind of overrated - Older rhythm games before that shit came crashing down - Weird peripherals - We miss video stores and the brick and mortar experience - Weird PS2 games and rarities

This week on Random Assault, listener and awesome fan Lindsey Turner joins us to talk about Mitch busting his back, the trouble of being queer in the south, and old cartoons because clearly we've run out of ideas at this point and we're old. SEGMENT 1: - Tabletop Games - Call of Cthulhu - Furries and being queer - Mitch really hurt his back - He also bought a new 3DS XL - Borderlands 2 - Alex started watching Attack on Titan, Matt has a conniption - Mitch watched some of RWBY - Figmas, Revoltech, and other figurines SEGMENT 2: - Alex's life is in shambles - The ways in which our brains fuck with us - The Simpsons, The Critic, Mission Hill, DuckTales... WE'RE OLD - Crude cartoons/stuff we weren't allowed to watch SEGMENT 3: - Kate's life is in shambles - Fighting and how we would fight - The troubles of being queer in the South - How to make the sex - Fuckin' trannies - How not to offend trannies - Random Assault ebooks Twitter bot

This week on Random Assault, Alex complains about Dark Souls (meaning he sucks), then he reviews every single permutation of Oldboy (because he's Alex), and he also tells of how he was covered in green applesauce in Florida. It's a very Alex-centric episode. I mean, they ALL are, but this one especially so. SEGMENT 1: - Mortal Kombat X - Dark Souls - The Lore of Wheel of Fortune - PAT SAJAK IS THE DEVIL - Game show creepypastas SEGMENT 2: - Alex got slimed at Nickelodeon Studios - Oldboy SEGMENT 3: - Questions - How to approach a mountain lion

This week on Random Assault, Matt gets a new toy, we answer your questions, and somehow we manage to relate Roman Reigns, Spoony, and criticism as a whole. It's gonna be WACKY! SEGMENT 1: - Slide whistle - Theatrhythm Final Fantasy Curtain Call - Shout Factory - Kate's poor asshole - Getting in trouble with teachers SEGMENT 2: - Legend of Zelda Netflix show - Roman Reigns, Spoony, and criticism SEGMENT 3: - Listener questions - SABAN'S PINOCCHIO

This week on Random Assault, we're joined by superfan and Mitch's childhood friend, AJ! We recap MAGfest, discuss the bullshit around copyright, and AJ tells embarrassing tales of Mitch from the homeland while Matt gets super butthurt about stuff! So it's pretty much a normal show. Except for Mitch ripping off Alex's quiz from a few episodes back, involving Western pop music in North American releases of Japanese music games.

This week on Random Assault, hear our adventures from MAGfest 13! This episode's got it all: comedy, drama, dramedy, commas, and interviews! Listener and superfan TURbo roasts the shit out of us, and even does something unspeakable at the end of the show! This is the episode you're gonna tell your grandkids about as they check you in to the hospital for a severe case of dimentia!

This week on Random Assault, Le Tran joins us to get freaky with Freddy, sacrifice some souls, cast a shadow over Mordor, and track down some amiibo. There's also some talk of live-action anime adaptations, and the differences between the other Pokemon generations.

This week on Random Assault, we're joined by the lovely Mela Firefly as well as MarvelExplained, so I think you know what direction nearly every conversation in this episode takes. Yup. We talk a ton about Sonic the Hedgehog.

This week on Random Assault, we get into the real nitty-gritty. We talk about the stupid Sony hacks and that dumb Interview movie, how much Matt hates Aubrey Plaza for having the gall to be born in the same state that he lives in, and we discuss whether the Vita is a contender for the 3DS, and then Mitch and Kate argue for I think a half hour about PlayStation Plus, for maybe the third time since we started this stupid show.

This week on Random Assault, we talk a lot about Zelda games and which ones are the best. And then Alex chokes on cereal and the show not just flies off the rails but also crashes into a seminar for people who make sense.

This week on Random Assault, we're joined by Julia and Etai who talk about their game, Mushroom 11. We also discuss the growth of indies in the convention scene and how it might affect shows like PAX. Then we talk about surprise prolapses, and Mitch makes Matt so angry that he gives his own Cliffsnotes version of Gurren Lagann. And then we wax nostalgic about a shitload of old cartoons like the old men we are, just like everyone else on the internet with a microphone.

This week, we're joined by Dylan Tierney of FrontTowardsGamer, aka Phazon117. And we talk a buttload about Smash Bros! Is it a fighting game? Is it even a GAME?! You decide!

Nice show you got here. It'd be a shame if something... happened to it.

This week on Random Assault, Nick Robalik of Sombrero fame is here with us to talk ethics, game design, and which foods are likely to kill you. Speaking of foods, Mitch talks about eating bald eagles and how he's responsible for bringing a child into this earth (and it's not in the way you're thinking.) Also, a guy who was on fire ordered water from a Taco Bell. Because. This one's packed to the gills with content, so enjoy!

This week on Random Assault, we're joined by a flurry of guests! Kori sits in with Mitch again, and the long-awaited appearance of RA superfans TURbo and Chris Ott! The guys jerk each other off with quotes and exerpts from the RA Wiki, (lovingly run by TURbo), then they argue about Sonic games and we get the final chapter of The Saga of Flabslapper. Oh, and two contests are announced! Be sure to listen til the third segment to find out how to win Steamalot: Epoch's Journey, and FLCL on DVD!