Muhammad West

When marriages fall apart It requires constant work Every marriage has its own problem We all have things we are not happy about Give and take Reasons For Divorce Marrying for the wrong reasons Some are doomed from the start Marriage should not be an escape or a solution to your problems Coming into the marriage with baggage Are you your own person? You are not ready to be a spouse Are you ready for marriage? “And test the orphans [in their abilities] until they reach marriageable age. Then if you perceive in them sound judgement, release their property to them…” Surah An Nisa 4:6 Infidelity In over 1/3 of marriages, one or both partners admit to cheating 22% of men say that they've cheated on their significant other 14% of women admit to cheating on their significant other 36% of men and women admit to having an affair with a co-worker 17% of men and women admit to having an affair with a sister-in-law or brother-in-law 40% of the time online

Etiquettes between husband and wife Two Halves “It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife (Hawwa (Eve)), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her” Surah Al A’raaf 7:189 Secret to a happy marriage “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” Surah Ar-Rum 30:21 Closer than a garment "They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them" Surah Al Baqarah 2:189 Best Men The Prophet said: “The most complete of the Believers in their Imaan are those who have the best manners, and the best of you are those who are best to their women.” Tirmidhi and Ahmad Treating Wives “… And live with them in kindness and on equitable terms. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” Surah An N

Bond with parents How to build a bond Spent time together Give Quick to respond to their call and fulfil their needs Honour and respect above anyone else Arguments Never retaliate The sibling bond As children first best friend, confidant, accomplice, biggest traitor, arch rival We tend to grow apart as we become adults Those relationships cement themselves as we get older The longest relationship we will have .. yet never the most important We always hope to be like Musa AS and Harun AS Sibling rivalry Almost always about envy Compete over parents affection, toys, tv remote, intelligence, beauty, wealth, popularity Our siblings can make us feel insecure about our own failings…its not their fault! The first murder in human history He said, "O my son, do not relate your vision to your brothers or they will contrive against you a plan. Indeed Satan, to man, is a manifest enemy. Surah Yusuf 12:5 Certainly were there in Joseph and his brothers s

Types of disagreements Personal disagreement Marital and family disagreement Work disagreement Religious disagreements Personal disagreements Competition for resources Conflicting physiologies and personalities Conflicting views The "Adaab" to overcome these differences Identify the source of the conflict – Why are we even fighting Try to understand and respect the counter view – Learn to listen, Never judge the person or the intentions of the other person Try to work from common ground Ethics in dialogue - I statements vs You, Private vs Public, Not to hurt Look for a win-win solution - Everyone must a chance and everyone must compromise Objective outsider Gracious in victory and sorry in defeat Let go of past issues - Would you not like Allah to forgive your faults? Look beyond the incident Relationships with Family “… and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)…” Surah

Types of Disagreements Personal disagreement Marital and family disagreement Work disagreement Religious disagreements Personal disagreement Competition for resources Conflicting physiologies and personalities Conflicting views Competition for resources Amr ibn Awf reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “By Allah, it is not poverty I fear for you, but rather I fear you will be given the wealth of the world just as it was given to those before you. You will compete for it just as they competed for it and it will destroy you just as it destroyed them.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 2988, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2961 Physiological Differences O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted. Surah Al Hujurat 49:13 Conflicting views Different perceptions,

A Major Crisis We are unable to interact with those we disagree with. Result is hatred, violence and even killing Locally: Cape Accord, Name calling, Takfir Globally: Disunited ummah “And obey Allaah and His Messenger, and do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength departs, and be patient. Surely, Allaah is with those who are As-Saabiroon (the patient)” Surah Al Anfaal 8:46 Part 1: Introduction Diversity of Allah Signs وَمِنْ اٰيٰتِهٖ خَلْقُ السَّمٰوٰتِ وَالْاَرْضِ وَاخْتِلَافُ اَلْسِنَتِكُمْ وَاَلْوَانِكُمْۗ اِنَّ فِىْ ذٰلِكَ لَاٰيٰتٍ لِّلْعٰلِمِيْنَ“And of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the diversity of your languages and your colors. Indeed in that are signs for those of knowledge.”Surah Ar Rum 30:22 “…Had Allah willed, He would have made you one nation [united in religion], but [He intended] to test you in what He has given you..”Al Ma’idah 5:48 Differences are blessings “…Allah has remained silent about some