Help & Hope

Send us a textIn this candid and fun interview, Jani Ortlund and Sharon Betters talk about what it’s like to be married to their pastor. Jani and Sharon have been married to their pastors for over fifty years – that’s 100 years of experience between them! Using Jani’s book, Help! I’m Married to My Pastor as a springboard, they cover such topics as how to help pastor husbands deal with depression, create a home where the “PKs” feel safe and unaffected by congregational expectations, cultivate romance in their marriages, deal with gossip and prioritizing personal intimacy with Jesus. Pastor’s wives – whether young or old, will benefit from this candid conversation.Support the show

Send us a textThe words, “You have a mental illness” bring fear, uncertainty, sometimes shame, loneliness, and even hopelessness.Christine Chappell heard those words as a young woman. They helped her understand many of her struggles with depression and self-harming behavior but also took her into a foreign land where she had no road map. Christine talks to Sharon Betters about how her journey began as a young adult until she knew if she didn’t get help, she might take her own life. While her diagnosis helped make sense of her disturbing emotions, it also confronted her with numerous decisions about treatment and how this diagnosis impacted her identity. Christine shares her story and gives practical ways she learned to navigate this hard place and even found healing.One key for her was to understand her diagnosis did not define her so she talks about the importance of understanding our identity in Christ. This conversation is filled with “salty peanuts”, that is, we are hoping you hear just enough to make you

Send us a text“Who am I? What is my purpose? I thought I could have it all and I do. But I am restless, I feel like I’m missing something.”Statistics show many American woman are weary, struggle with depression and self-medicate with alcohol, flattery, Suicide rates for women are on the rise. What’s happening? More importantly, what’s the resolution?In this conversation Jen Oshman, author of Enough about Me and Help & Hope host Sharon Betters talk about the problem, the diagnosis and the treatment for this low-grade anxiety that often disrupts our thinking, whether in joyful or sorrowful seasons.In her book, Jen says, “We 21st century women have been running on ourselves, rather than on our God. We've been running on self-help, self-empowerment, and self-actualization. The fuel of self has run out, and that's why we're tired and discouraged and even in crisis. Enough about me. And enough about you. If we want to keep running, we need to run on the fuel we're made for - God himself. We

Send us a textWhen a son, sister, or grandchild begins to behave in unexpected and disturbing ways, family members hope it is simply a phase. For some, it is instead a life-time illness – schizophrenia.The diagnosis of schizophrenia can bring shock, fear, and worry to everyone involved. But in the midst of the numerous challenges, hope doesn’t have to die. (Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them by Simonetta Carr)In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Simonetta Carr shares the story of her beloved son, Jonathan, and her experience of caring for him as he struggled with schizophrenia. Simonetta doesn’t sugarcoat the enormous challenges and emotions that were non-stop. She talks about how she fervently prayed for Jonathan, the fears she had to confront, and how the church came alongside Jonathan and her in this battle. You may not have a loved one with schizophrenia but Simonetta and Jonathan’s story will give you insight into the enormous battle facing families with such a diagnosis.You can learn more abo

Send us a text1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant. That's about 6.7 million people each year who have trouble conceiving.10—15% of women who know they are pregnant will experience a miscarriage. Some studies say it’s higher.About 1 pregnancy in 100 at 20 weeks of pregnancy and later is affected by stillbirth, and each year about 24,000 babies are stillborn in the United States.1This doesn’t take into account the number of babies diagnosed in the womb with a terminal condition – meaning if they survive their birth, they will not live very long.Kathe Wunnenberg knows the sorrow such losses. In this transparent conversation with Sharon Betters Kathe shares her own journey of grieving infertility, miscarriages and the loss of her son. Her deep sorrow taught Kathe that God can transform anything you offer Him into hope to help others. Kathe Wunnenberg is a hopelifter. Her motto reflects the purpose of her own life: “We go through what we go through, to help others go through what we went through,”

Send us a textIn Part 2 of this Help & Hope podcast Nick Thompson, co-author with Joel R. Beeke of Pastors and Their Critics continues his conversation with Chuck Betters about the difference between betrayal and criticism and how to handle criticism from church members. Part 2 focuses on how to create a church climate where it is safe to share concerns with your pastor and elders along with the reality that sometimes no amount of reconciliation efforts will reap sweet fruit. Thinking through these themes will help equip young pastors as they begin to realize criticism comes with the territory of shepherding and encourage older pastors to think through the climate of their church and whether they need a course correction.Support the show

Send us a textIn Part 1 of this conversation Nick Thompson, co-author with Joel R. Beeke of Pastors and Their Critics talks with Chuck Betters about the difference between betrayal and criticism and how to handle criticism from church members. Pastors quickly learn that criticism comes with the territory of shepherding. This conversation took place in the middle of the 2020 pandemic and pastors are weary from the constant criticism they are getting in response to their handling of the pandemic. Rather than resolve their differences, critics choose to leave without any attempt to preserve the relationship. Most pastors give their lives to their congregation, but over time they realize that sometimes what they thought were great friendships, don’t stand up in the middle of disagreements. How does a pastor handle such hurt without making the situation worse? What are realistic expectations for conflict resolution? Pastor, are you hurting? This conversation will help guide you through the minefield of criticism.S

Send us a textFor too long women, rather than feel safe, women often feel shame in their local churches, so much so that they will not ask the leadership for help. The idea of speaking about her personal needs and hurts to any man, let alone being in a room alone with a group of men fills her with fear. This conversation with Ann Maree Goudzwaard, Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson fills us with great hope as we learn about a Shepherdess ministry designed to not only create a safe place for women in crisis but also act as a preventative balm. This ministry is a picture of the spiritual mothering described in Titus 2. Older women are trained to come alongside a hurting woman, learning how to speak “woman” to the pastoral leadership when the hurting woman cannot speak for herself. Ann Maree describes the responsibilities of a Shepherdess and how this ministry changes the atmosphere of a local church as women – and their friends – discover the church is a safe place. And the bonus – older women realize they hav

Send us a textIn this conversation two seasoned pastors, Chuck Betters and Bernie Lawrence talk about how the local church is not only called to be a safe place for hurting women but how to make it so. Bernie is co-author with Ann Maree Goudzwaard of HelpHer – A Churchwide Response for Women in Crisis.Chuck and Bernie discuss how many churches are ill-prepared to come alongside of women in crisis but how the scriptures outline the way to meet these needs. Bernie speaks from the experience of helping oversee such a ministry in his local church. He shares how the leadership recognized the need to make the church a safe place for women and then enlisted women to help develop a strategy for meeting this dire need. In their book, Bernie and Ann Maree not only tell the story of how the Shepherdess ministry developed but also include numerous practical instructions for how to develop a similar ministry in your local church. This ministry will revolutionize a local church and no doubt as it grows women will spread th

Send us a textBarbara Juliani and Jane Anne Wilson join Sharon Betters to talk about those feelings every mother experiences at one time or another. This conversation follows an interview with Barbara about prodigal children. Barbara and her father Jack Miller co-authored Come Back, Barbara, a raw and transparent story of Barbara’s rebellion against her parents and their faith and her journey “back home”. Whenever a child rebels or disappoints parents, mothers often feel ashamed and as though their child’s behavior is a reflection on their parenting skills. “Was I too soft, too hard, spanked when I shouldn’t have, neglected a specific need in my child?” Where do moms go with these feelings? If you are that mother, this conversation will encourage you as you realize you are not alone and there is a way toward freedom.Support the show

Send us a textDo these words haunt you: "Mom, Dad, I don't want your rules and morals. I don't want to act like a Christian anymore! And I'm not going to," Barbara Juliani (then Barbara Miller) made this declaration at the age 18. As her father desperately attempted to reason with her, Barbara grew more resentful, choosing a path of immorality that only deepened her parents' pain. Such a declaration from a child, no matter their age, creates havoc and soul-searching in the hearts of their parents, who often ask, “What did I do wrong?” In this conversation with Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson Barbara Juliani shares her story and addresses some of the ways parents take on the guilt of their children and responsibility for their decisions. You might be surprised by some of her conclusions. Her dad, Jack Miller wrote:"I am not ignorant of human depravity," writes C. John Miller, "but I had long denied that it could exist in our family." That reality, however,

Send us a textMention church conflict in a group of pastors and ministry leaders. One by one they will nod knowingly and share war stories of betrayal, conflict and relationship damage. We hear about pastors taking their own lives and the many who are leaving the ministry, tired of the in-fighting, unfair criticisms and unbiblical treatment of not only them but their families. The Covid pandemic created even more stress for pastors as a key strengthening and essential piece of the church – community – shut down. Many had to learn how to use technology and work even harder to stay connected to the congregation. Then politics entered the scene and former good friends demanded the pastor take positions he could not. Pastors are weary and not sure what the future holds. George Grant and Chuck Betters, seasoned pastors and ministry leaders talk frankly about the intense pressures pastors and ministry leaders experience and offer insights on how to navigate these turbulent times. Pastors, this is for you.Support th

Send us a textThis conversation is for pastor’s and ministry wives and those who love them. While there are occupational hazards in all lines of work, ministry families experience conflicts that sometimes not only result in broken relationships but loss of their beloved church family. In most jobs, wives are not expected to be an unpaid laborer, stand by their husband’s side every Sunday, remembering every name and something about the families, teach a class, play the piano, or host multiple gatherings for every age. What she considers deep friendships root and grow. Her children see the church as their second home. Imagine the trauma when conflict reveals that many view her only as a commodity, useful as long as her husband pleases the congregation. She learns that those for whom she has hurt the most are sometimes the ones who will hurt her deeply. In this conversation two seasoned ministry wives, Karen Grant and Sharon Betters talk freely about these challenges and how to respond when trusted friends betr

Send us a textMention “fear of the Lord” and most people don’t know what it means. Is it terror in God’s presence? Is it fear He is watching and waiting to condemn us or tell us what a good person we are? Or maybe the Lord will demand we give up what is most precious to us to prove we fear Him. Or perhaps fear of the Lord grows when we think He is punishing us for past sins. In this conversation Christina Fox talks to Sharon Betters about how the fear of the Lord frees us from lesser fears and how understanding biblical fear helps us walk by faith when life turns upside down. Christina also shares how the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom in not only the hard places but in the mundane things of life.This conversation touches the tip of the iceberg on the topic of the fear of the Lord so we hope you not only listen to this conversation but get a copy of Christina’s book, A Holy Fear.Support the show

Thousands of families quietly and lovingly care for children with special needs. Though the days are often long and hard, many find joy in their calling and would not trade their calling for anything. Kara Dedert and her family reflect this joy in the ordinary and extraordinary moments of caring for their son and brother, Calvin. In her introduction to her blog, Kara writes, “You’ll find me writing about the good, gritty, gracy parts of faith, family and home. I’m married to Darryl and we have five kids. One of our sons has severe disabilities from Zika. It’s broken our hearts and also filled us with hope – I write about that, too.Send us a textSupport the show

Send us a textDiscontent easily arises when our desires aren’t met and our plans don’t come true—but this is a dangerous path that drives us away from God. Megan Hiil talks with Sharon Betters about how discontentment can be an insidious, unrecognized poison that robs us of opportunities to experience joy and intimacy with the Lord. Megan explains the meaning of contentment, how we often make discontentment comfortable in our hearts and how it puts a shadow on everything we do. This conversation took place in the middle of the Covid pandemic, where we all experienced many reasons to be discontent but in this interview Megan suggests such seasons of uncertainty are opportunities to intentionally draw strength from contentment. Megan offers practical ideas on how to seek contentment in the ordinary and extraordinary seasons of life.Support the show

Send us a textIn this conversation with Sharon Betters, Wendy Alsup shares how suffering came in wave after wave, leaving her breathless and lonely. In one particularly dark and painful period after intense surgery for cancer, Wendy discovered she was not truly alone. Though her pain was not alleviated, she found comfort and strength in experiencing intimacy with the Lord Who walks with us in suffering. Wendy describes how the Lord is our companion in suffering, even when we must walk alone.Support the show

Send us a textIn the book co-authored by Susan Hunt and Sharon Betters, Aging with Grace, Flourishing in an Anti-Aging Culture, each chapter ends with a story-teller who is at least seventy years old. Each woman gives the readers a glimpse into what aging with grace looks like for her. One of those storytellers is Carol Arnold. Carol was eighty-three years old at the time of the interview. Carol travels the world continuing the work of the organization her husband started, Equipping Pastors. Surely Carol is a model of flourishing in old age as she regularly gets on a plane in order to spend hours teaching about marriage in less than optimum circumstances. But is traveling the world at eighty-three years of age the only way to flourish? In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Carol answers this question and encourages us to understand flourishing in any age is not about doing but rather about “being”. No matter your age, you will be encouraged and guided by Carol’s insights.Support the show

Send us a textAging is a season of loss on many levels. Married women fear losing their spouse or outliving their children. In fact, today there are 13.6 million widows in America, and about 700,000 women become a widow in the U.S. each year. Single women who have never married can fear being alone in the last years of life. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, seventy-two-year old Jerdone Davis frankly shares some of the emotional challenges of anticipating aging alone, including addressing how we can prepare for this season while we are younger and how can we handle the fears of being alone, especially in the last season of our lives. No matter your marital status, Jerdone’s recommendations for preparing for the last season of life will encourage you to be intentional in taking steps to make things easier for loved ones after your death.Support the show

Send us a textIn this conversation with Sharon Betters, Miho Kahn and her husband share the story of Miho’s journey into a world of drugs, violence and abuse. At the age of fourteen, Miho pushed against the boundaries of her parents’ quiet life and struck out on her own, telling her sister, “Don’t try to find me.” As you listen, you might think, “This story could be a compelling movie” as you imagine a young girl hitch-hiking alone across America and exposing herself to danger and abuse. Miho shares the story of her drug addiction, rape, co-dependency, abortion - and all of this happened before she was seventeen years old. Miho transparently shares her journey and how she found peace and direction in a personal relationship to Jesus.Support the show