Tweet Me Harder

Kris and David discuss the importance of an attractive coat, reinvent the lawn-care industry, bequeath their foolproof method for handling stress, and unveil the Tweet Me Harder Premium Exclusive Diamond Club.

Kris and David debate Care Bear typecasting, thoroughly answer a listener's call about how to deal with self-righteous genies, die on Facebook and solve mysteries in the far future.

Kris and David discuss the cold autumn weather, take several Poll Me Harder calls, and tackle environmental issues. WARNING: This episode is not for the faint of heart -- it contains CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP.

Kris and David recall sordid tales of pseudo-stalkerish romantic behavior, back in high school when that stuff was basically encouraged. Also, capricious zephyrs, truck wallets, and in Poll Me Harder, a question about eating alone.

Kris and David explore mollusk retreats, lies we tell ourselves about lightning, figure out why we don't delete old MP3s, and in Poll Me Harder, unravel the motivation behind folding your T-shirts versus sealing them between glass plates.

Kris and David tackle issues of sanitation, the transmission of food across great distances, the sterling human responsibility to award trophies to oneself, and the crapshoot that is generic-brand consumer products.

Kris and David discuss the perils of moving, and have problems abandoning unwanted stuff on Craigslist.

Kris and David tackle fancy ketchup, I think french fries...something about a snail...maybe...?

Kris and David hypothesize about food science, hear an update from the caller whose dog has come to love boogers, detail the entirety of Bazooka Joe's sordid history, and in Poll Me Harder, crack open the mythos of fortune cookies.

Kris and David wonder about job prospects for liberal-arts majors and other unmarketables, debate mammalian venom, and in Poll Me Harder, discover whether it's common to condition a dog to eat boogers.

Kris and David examine a soup analogy, ponder the accomplishment expectations of inanimate objects, and in Poll Me Harder, ask how many people perform elaborate rituals to protect themselves from supernatural threats.

Kris and David wonder if they are alone in the strange things they do. Also, sinister dragons and the introduction of Poll Me Harder, with a spirited discussion on the order of operations at mealtime.

Kris and David knock back some rhymes behind the high school while G's play B-ball on the other side of a chain-link fence.

Fake Stan Lee provides his own entry for the Tweet Me Harder Episode 10 'Simple Machines' face-off.

David Malki !'s entry in the Tweet Me Harder Episode 10 'Simple Machines' face-off.

Kris Straub's entry in the Tweet Me Harder Episode 10 'Simple Machines' face-off.

Seeking a way to vent their simmering rage at one another, Kris and David enlist Fake Stan Lee as a conflict counselor and throwdown-ajudicator. Also, ageist personal ads, public-access hotties and listener raps.

Kris and David ponder the ramifications of undersea time travel, explain three easy ways to simplify your life, debate the preferred method of throwing telephones at your friends and start a bitter feud.

Kris and David relish their graying plumage, completely revolutionize the masking-baldness industry, and ponder the long-term benefits of perfect attendance.

Kris and David consider the destruction of the modern world, number Larry King's nipples easily into the dozens, and follow up with Kris' brother Kurt regarding the 'Dear Minnie' business from TMH6.