Baltimorons

Baltimore native and jetpack expert Mac Montandon stops by Hootenanny Studios to talk about the fateful day he attened an open tryout for the Orioles. He now writes about jetpacks for a living, so you can perhaps guess how well that turned out. We also fondly recall the magic of Tito Landrum, and address the latest brushfires of news from spring training camp.

The Bugle's Andy Zaltzman joins us for a spirited rumination on the nature of tyranny, why sports are preferable to real life, and the potential for Derek Jeter to find a second career as a cricket player. Plus: Alan takes the "Terminator" series of films to task, the Todd Frohwirth Franchise Report looks at the Johan Santana signing and its accompanying ethical issues, and the Morons announce the winners of the 2013 Hot Stove Oscars.

We welcome 2013 MLB Fan Cave Dweller April Whitzman, who dishes on the life in the Cave and provides words of caution for O's fans who think we're simply going to Cruz into October. Speaking of Nelly, The Larry Harlow Franchise Report examines the implications of his presence in a vocally anti-PED clubhouse. Alan marvels at the onset of late-winter insanity across the globe, and Sam provides a much-needed reminder about the secret strength of Orioles fans, which is, of course, puns.

Alan reveals the historical origins of baseball as we know it, we apologize for ever doubting Dan Duquette, and Sam shares a personal story from his youth, a testament to the mostly-discarded magic of the sports page.

The Morons welcome Baseball Prospectus Editor in Chief Ben Lindbergh for an in-depth look at the Orioles' approach to the free agent market, as well as the evolution of the role of advanced statistical metrics in team strategy.  They also sing a song, pay tribute to the proud legacy of Wayne Krenchiki, and remember a curious historical incident involving the Sioux Falls Jackanapes and a sandwich board.

A jam-packed show this week, featuring an exciting experiment in community organizing for Orioles fans, a fond farewell to Chris Jakubauskas, the complicated legacy of Madonna, and our loving tribute to the brilliant "Welcome to Night Vale" podcast.

MASN's Roch Kubatko joins us for a much-needed reality check about the State of the Union in Moron Nation, and the Whitey Lockman Franchise Report covers AJ Burnettt, the troubling realities of WAR, and unionized college athletes.  Plus: an exclusive preview of the upcoming film "Unmasked Justice," starring Matt Wieters.

Alan ponders the cultural legacy of Elvis Presley, the Al Pardo Franchise Report examines a curious aspect of the US tax code, Joelle Gamble talks about politics with an intelligence not befitting the program's proud tradition, and we listen to a broadcast of a game between the Phantom City Muskellunges and the Winnetonka Spacemen.

The Ed Barnowski Franchise Report looks at internet sleuthing and Delmon Young; Alan expresses mild opinions about the recently-announced film adaptation of "1984," Ben Masten tries to pretend it's a rough time to be a Yankee fan, and J. Wellington Scrimshire presents "Hotstove Theatre."

A voyage in to the nether regions of the moronic mind, featuring ruminations on climate change, wizardry (aka Greg Maddux), the Orioles' automotive profile, and a Special Comment on the current state of the National Football League.

The dysfunction of the Orioles offseason reaches a fever pitch, and Sam and Alan are growing increasingly concerned that the whole thing is just an elaborate and ill-conceived parody of "The Music Man."  Plus, Michael Clair (Baseball Prospectus, Old Time Family Baseball) calls in to discuss his ongoing amazingness.

A thorough examination of the Duquette Doctrine, with much discussion of the Orioles' apparent lack of offseason ambition, an investigative report on the whereabouts of the Orioles Spastics, and Dan Duquette himself as the musical guest.

The stove is piping hot, and the Morons are accordingly all fired up.  Much discussion of the recent flurry of trade activity, an in-depth discussion of the MLB Fan Cave experience with 2013 Dweller Nick Mendillo, and a free agent cautionary tale in musical form.

Sam and Alan share personal essays on the themes of baseball and gratitude.

Marcel Proust, agrarian economic principles, and nostalgia for the more innocent days of the physical sports page.  Almost no Orioles talk this week, but you should be expecting that at this point.

Bullpen coach discrimination, new stadium nonsense, and a strategy of radical pragmatism regarding next year's starting rotation.  Plus, a Special Comment from Alan Smith.

Gold gloves, pitching coaches, neck tattoos, and Theodore Roosevelt.

Episode 70 arrives in your feed replete with trenchant observations on the role of narrative in baseball, whether or not buying hats with World Series patches is lame, sincere appreciation for French culture, and a damn sonnet to boot.

The thrilling conclusion to our 2013 season wrap-up, featuring Charlie Hoppes (Orioles Spastics), Cal from the OBP Podcast, and musical guest Charlie Hoppes.

Sam and Alan recap the 2013 season with a cavalcade of guests from the Baltimore Sports Network and beyond. Featuring the triumphant return of Dan Duquette!