The Chick Whisperer Podcast

My guest is one of those guys who had the grit and determination to go 'all in' on his dreams, laying it all on the line to become a pro basketball player. Even more fascinating is the story of how he eventually found his larger calling of empowering young athletes to greatness, while inspiring all of us to find our game and be at the top of it. Now, if you're like me, basketball isn't exactly your most marketable skill. But no worries, Dre Baldwin's message will motivate you to take your game to the next level, whatever it is. So for sure, we talk hoops some to get the show rolling, but you know how sneaky I am. It takes about a minute and a half before we're tying it all back to having the heart of a champion, overachieving and breaking apart any roadblocks standing in our way. That conversation had to start with none other than Mike, of course. What was it about MJ that was so transcendent in terms of redefining what it means to be at the top of one's game? As for Dre himself, how did he go from pro basket

When my guest Jed Jurchenko first got married, he assumed everything would go wonderfully because, well...that's how it's supposed to work, right? Little did he know he was in for a total train wreck. Emerging from that rocky first marriage, Jed sought to understand how to build a relationship around mutual trust, a sane mindset and solid communication skills. Indeed, it's not that couples won't ever disagree, but what is the best way to handle conflict when it arises? Well, for starters you'll discover the number one best philosophy for virtually eliminating hateful, spiteful arguments...and it might not be what you think. What's the best way to effectively resolve an argument, and how exactly do you know when it has indeed been resolved? What are examples of 'atomic bombs' that should be avoided at all costs during relational conflict? If you have a long history of being 'Mr. Nice Guy' in relationships, what are the ramifications of that? And how can you proactively guard against future arguments even as yo

What do you get when you have a guy who looks like Tyler Childers but talks with a Mid-Atlantic accent? Someone completely different than you're used to, and that's my main man and fellow dating coach for men Ryan Black. As it turns out, he and I are both getting asked the same question over and over nowadays, and that's how in the world to meet women given the present state of things. Well, you have questions, and we have answers...starting with a look at how the situation is both radically different from AND exactly the same as it ever was. How has the COVID-19 lockdown impacted our dating lives in unexpected ways? Speaking of which, how does wearing a mask really, truly affect approaching, meeting and attracting women? And more importantly, what do you DO about it? For sure, the pandemic isn't exactly over just yet, but what are the real reasons why women seem to be shying away from actually meeting in-person, even as the world has started opening back up? You can absolutely expect real, practical ways to

Returning guest Helena Nista is a sex therapist, tantra practitioner and author of Legendary Lover. She was a major hit with you guys the first time she was on due to her straightforward yet happy-go-lucky style, all the while absolutely free of shame while exuding pure class and femininity. That's a winning combination, so I invited her back this time to discuss how we as men should talk to women about orgasms...then actually give them all they can handle. What better place to start such a conversation than with the idea of 'mental foreplay'? Why is it that women can talk so naturally about sexual matters, yet most men freak out over it? Should we even talk about sex at all? Why not just make a move when the time is right? But wait a minute...when exactly IS the right time? Dial up the flirtation, thrill women to the moon and back, and make them come back for more. Helena spills all the secrets, and is as charming as ever as she does. And how about when we're actually in the bedroom? How can we guard against

Can you believe we've never covered this topic in all the years of doing this show? But my guest Marcus Oakey from the UK is absolutely the right man for the job, given that he has been a professional charisma coach for over a decade now. So what is charisma, anyway? And why is it so elusive? Well, whatever it is, we can agree that those who exhibit it tend to do so effortlessly, or at least seemingly so. Are there different types of charisma? Can you fine-tune your persona to be uniquely charismatic? Is it possible to be charismatic without having to be the life of the party? What is 'The Unbreakable Law'? What's up with the term 'is-ness'? And what does Marcus mean by being in a constant state of 'maybe'? What is the key difference between power and strength? How do regular, normal people respond to an unusually charismatic social interaction in unexpected ways? And hold on...what's the difference between being socially advanced beyond most people and downright creepy? How do we get to that unconsciously co

For the first time ever, I welcome two guests on the show at once. The Collinses (aka SiMalCo) are living proof of what happens when two people who are way too smart and educated for their own good find love together. They’re serial entrepreneurs, world travelers, polymaths and—most importantly for our purposes at hand—commenters on life, sex and relationships. So the topic du jour came to pass based on the idea expressed in their book of how humans use lures to attract a mate. Buckle up, because the pace of this episode is the fastest we’ve seen in a long time, and we cover an immense amount of ground...often hilariously. Why is dating like sales? (including a GOLDEN tip for up-and-coming salesguys) How does the ‘fishing expedition’ change when we’re after casual relationships vs. something long-term? Is luring someone primarily with physical attractiveness really a good strategy? Meanwhile, why do so many men get lured in and hooked by women they’re not even attracted to? If you can relate, this episode wil

The truth is that being successful with women comes down in large part to learned skill. Some men have it, some don't...and even fewer are willing to fight for the right to acquire those skills. And there's no 'easy button'. Like me, my guest Darren Fuji wasn't exactly born with a the silver spoon of sexual attractiveness in his mouth. But he indeed has become an absolute machine with women over the years, culminating in his fantastic current relationship with a professional model. What clear advantages do most men have compared to most women in cultivating the skills of attraction? What are some of the big lies many men are told about their likelihood of becoming more attractive to women? And why do we now live in a society where everyone seems to want everything handed to them? Certainly the few and the proud will rise to the occasion of putting in the blood, sweat and tears to truly achieve in this life, but what are the perhaps unexpected rewards to doing so? What has laziness, lack of ambition and flat-o

I first found out about my guest when I stumbled across his recent conversation with Scott Adams of Dilbert fame. Hotep is an independent thinker who speaks his mind, while being able to back up every word of what he says with logical sense. He has a long history of serial entrepreneurship, marketing for high-profile performers and various other pursuits, but as it turns out his curious mindset has also led to a lot of thought on women and masculinity. So for starters, what's the key to staying sane and focused in the midst of the crazy news cycles we're confronted with these days? How does Hotep measure and evaluate all the information? Why is it nearly impossible to have a real, actual conversation on Twitter anymore? Hotep talks frequently about 'reading the room'...how does that pertain to expressing bold, authentic thought? Is getting news from so-called 'unbiased' sources really the way to get down to the bottom of what's going on in the world? How can we as men step up and be bold in the face of cancel

Well, here we go...it's the long overdue show on sexy motherhood. And yes, I completely understand the very premise is up for debate. That's why I brought in the hottest mommy I know, none other than my wife Emily. Curiously enough, the first direction we went in was debating the 'dad bod' and 'mom bod' factor. Do we as men really desire that rail-thin supermodel body, or do many of us prefer a woman shaped more like she's had a baby or two? In addition to what they look like, how do hot moms really turn us on? Is how we act and carry ourselves as dads even more profound an issue when it comes to turning those hot moms on? And how about 'boy moms'...what's the deal with them, and why are they so cool? How does life experience and parental obligation contribute to a particular affinity between single moms and single dads? When the idealistic 'halo' of childless singlehood fades, is that actually a good thing for a budding relationship? Why do so many dating coaches for men warn against dating single moms? Does

My guest Todd Kashdan is the guru of curiosity, having literally written the book on it. As a college professor, one would think he would count his fellow highly-educated people as naturally curious...but is it really always the case? How is being curious good for your social life and your attractiveness to women? What are the perhaps unexpected benefits of adopting a curious lifestyle? Meanwhile, is there a darker side of curiosity that few people ever dare to talk about? Moreover, is there a dark side of YOU that you should be more curious about? How is curiosity--or lack thereof--tied to stress levels? Can you actually point to objective trends in today's society that are stealing our curious nature away from us? And how have media outlets capitalized upon that to get clicks, build their audience and even further an agenda? How come kids don't seem to be as curious as they used to be, and how can we instill more curiosity within them? But is it even worth being so curious when we're never going to get all

When his book Die Fat Or Get Tough came out, it told the truth about getting in shape that people weren't trying to hear. And that's really only one example of how Steve Siebold's work boldly addresses mental toughness in a visceral, yet engaging way that we as men can genuinely relate to. Since Steve's name came up on the show a couple of episodes ago, I reached out to him and decided to have him on to go over his latest work, along with some of his golden gems from past books. Have you ever noticed that whether it's in sports or in life, the one with the most mental toughness generally wins? Certainly, with all of the craziness happening in the world today, mental toughness is necessary just to hang in there. But what does having mental toughness even mean? And how does it directly affect your success on the field, in your career and yes...in your relationships with women? How does 'microwave thinking' defeat mental toughness? What does all of this have to do with financial success? In what ways are we bein

My guest co-host believes men not only are as emotional as women are, but it's important to our masculinity to feel deeply. Don't get that confused with being an 'emo' soy boy, however. For starters, GS describes what a heart-felt relationship with a modern woman who is strong yet feminine looks like. But wait...who is this 'strong woman' anyway, and what is she like? Whoever she is, she's only going to be powerfully attracted to a masculine man. So to that end, GS outlines three ways to be fully masculine without being an unemotional robot about it. How can we respond to women rather than merely reacting? What do women mean when they say they want a man who 'listens'? And what in the world is being 'emotionally available' all about? Why do women start nagging us? And what's even scarier in a relationship than that, although few of us even recognize it when it's happening? How does providing true safety to a woman contrast with the 'alpha model' of masculinity? How can men be emotional while still being consc

So what's your personality type? Introverted? Extroverted? Thinking vs. feeling? Whatever...because my guest believes all the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs tests you have ever taken are only marginally better than the horoscope in the newspaper, at best. His ideas are positively iconoclastic, but he's done his homework and shares insights into developing your personality on YOUR terms that will make you stand up and cheer. The first place he drops the hammer is on the concept of personality versus identity. Are you really stuck being the person you've always been, even if you would really rather be someone different? I mean, what if 'just be yourself' isn't working? And furthermore, what if self-help doesn't work either? Does the 'body positive' crowd have your best interests at heart? Why exactly is it that people who lack vision are often so bored and depressed in the present? And on the other hand, how can our loftiest goals actually hamstring us from thriving? What happens when larger societal influences com

It's been nearly twelve years, but Alex Allman of Revolutionary Sex is back to cover one of the most confounding subjects possible in the world of relationship advice. That's of course, true love. What is it? What does it mean to be 'in love'? Just importantly, what does it NOT mean? And when do you know you're actually there? Well, the truth is people may have different representations and definitions for true love, but there really is some substance to it...despite how nebulous and over-used the word itself is in the English language. Alex kicks the discussion off with some deep hippie stuff from the Grateful Dead, before carefully explaining how love isn't just something to aspire to, it's something you also build...and do. He's also careful to note the spiritual aspect of romantic love, even though what he says may not be what you're expecting. And you'll definitely not hear the same old jingoistic dating advice battle cries here. To that end, we define the difference between love and infatuation. We also

My co-host is a sought after social photographer in New York City whose work is featured in magazines. He has worked hundreds of weddings. This means he has seen how that many couples get along, all from a third-party perspective. Now, if you're expecting some sort of protracted 'bridezilla' rant here, you're in for a shock. Sure, couples experience a lot of stress when getting married, but can you really tell whether or not a couple has 'the right stuff' to go the long-haul simply by observing them through the wedding process? Are most guys Steven meets with the right woman for them? How long has the typical couple been dating before tying the knot? What percentage of them meet online these days? How often does it seem like the bride cares more about throwing a big wedding party than the actual man she's marrying? What are the differences between couples who are getting married for the first time vs. the second or third time? And are most guys punching above their pay grade? (how's that for a convenient conf

We've long since evolved from the caveman days, but has our inherent nature as sexual beings? My guest is international speaker, media personality and politico-spiritual thought leader Preity Uupala, who firmly believes most women reject the notion that 'they don't need a man'. She has a fresh, interesting way of speaking about masculinity and femininity, including the fascinating perception that there's often a fine line between the two even while being polar opposites. Find out exactly what she means by that, along with some eye-opening thoughts on why men and women often have such a hard time relating to each other. Why do women say they want a 'sweet, nice guy' when they really don't? And how profound is the importance of having a strong sense of identity as a man in order to help a woman truly feel safe with us? Preity thinks like a woman while thoroughly enjoying men. That leads to her completely unique syntax and thought formation as she travels down a different path to ultimately reach the very same d

With the milestone 200th episode, it's fun to consider how far we've come, yet how many of the core ideas we still talk about have evolved. Big thanks to Eben Pagan (aka David DeAngelo) and the team at Double Your Dating for making this classic recording of my 2007 Interviews With Dating Gurus available to you as a free download for the very first time. It's truly like a blast through everything foundational here at X & Y Communications, which is fitting since it's the interview that basically put us on the map. Back then, getting this gig was for a dating coach like appearing on The Tonight Show was for a stand-up comic. We talk about deserving what you want, why self-help tactics usually fail, how (and why) to date multiple women on the way to meeting 'the one', and how I decided to get married. You'll get the first mention of 'the big four' ever, discover what an 'I/J' is and why high-quality women avoid them, hear the case for why chivalry still matters, and get a load of the one simple (and now infam

Okay, this is going to be a sticky episode for many of you guys, as it contains plenty of potentially incendiary ideas that will rip the scabs off of old wounds. But it's all for the greater good, as you'll see. We'll uncover the types of traumas many of us endure during childhood, and shine the light on how it all affects us as grown men. According to my guest, psychotherapist Riana Milne, virtually all of us experience at least some of these traumatic experiences growing up, and I'm inclined to believe her. Having gotten to know Riana and her work, she has earned my genuine respect, as helping heal brokenness is arduous, messy work. So heads up, when Riana starts going over the top ten traumas kids tend to face, it really is going to stir the pot for many of us...starting with why there is more dysfunctional trauma going on now than in years past, and a greater number of psychopaths out there as well. Next, find out the nature of Jekyll and Hyde relationships and why they're so devastating. What is up with

Over the past four years or so, the idea of The Hero's Journey has come up more and more often. My guest has built his entire practice around it, so for this episode we decided to go beyond the basic definitions and examples and do a deep dive. So for starters, what is it about this archetypal rendition of the classic hero story that is so riveting to us as men? Joseph Campbell's idea of powerful myth has fueled atheistic thought, but is that really the only logical perspective one can take? How does The Hero's Journey speak to universal truth not only in how we as humans attempt to comprehend the universe, but also in how we process the pattern of our own lives? And what's more, how does it all matter to YOU in becoming the best 'big four' man of character you can be? What does The Hero's Journey tell us about patience, virtue and the importance of mentorship? Why is it so important to leave home, only to ultimately return? How does The Hero's Journey narrative help us reconcile 'Imposter Syndrome'? Who is '

You don't have to be fictional--or dead--to be legendary. My guest Tommy Breedlove quite literally wrote the book on it. He joins us to talk about how to man up and reinvent ourselves in order to make a real, measurable difference in this life. So first off, what's the very foundation of becoming legendary? And what does being legendary even mean? How do women view and respond to legendary men? Do you have to be world famous in order to be legendary? What if we struggle to feel like we're 'enough'? How can we start today on our own path to legendary status? What are the new habits we need to develop over the longer term? Next, Tommy reveals the arch enemies of maximizing your core purpose...and wait until you hear the shocking place those enemies hail from. What is the best advice for sticking to what's good and avoiding the 'dark side'? On that note, what gets into certain men's minds leading them to become 'legendary' bad guys, anyway? How can we know the cause we're to become legendary for really is a good