The Chick Whisperer Podcast

His name is Dr. Peter McGraw, and he's indeed quick on the draw. He has to be, considering he's quite literally a professor specializing in the psychology of humor, and the director of the Humor Research Lab (aka HuRL) at University of Colorado at Boulder. By now we all know how making women laugh is a legitmate superpower when it comes to charming and attracting them. And yes, you can get the job done by helping women have fun, but there's something about a man who knows how to craft legit humor that absolutely mesmerizes them. Yet, most of us can count on one hand the number of men we know who have developed such a skill and have incorporated it to the level of 'unconscious competence'. Why is that? Well, for starters, the idea of what 'funny' really is and how it works is completely esoteric to most people. It's as if you either get it or you don't. Well, upon listening to this remarkably practical (and yes, funny) episode, the joke will no longer be on you. Listen as Peter and I equip you with real-world

Over the past year, COVID has wrought widespread social isolation and loneliness. We've sheltered in place and looked to social media and dating apps for potential connection with others. But that's at best an electronic substitute for real, human interaction, of course. Pete Bombaci is a human connection expert and head of the GenWell Project, a global connection movement based in Toronto. His mission is to inspire us to take action toward more and better face-to-face communication. Pete claims that real, live human connection is at least as important to our overall health as eating right or going to the gym. Yet, we as men tend to blow off our need for human interaction, as if we're too macho for that sort of thing. Well, it's time to get real with ourselves, as well as with the women who want so much for us to be there and present for them. Along the way, we discuss why people in big cities often feel most isolated, the sneaky and unexpected effects of COVID social isolation, and the surprising way that le

As goes the bedroom, so goes the bedroom...at least that's what my guest on this episode believes. Delora Guignon is the founder of Mindsex Mastery, and she says the very same sexual energy that propels the women in your life to multiple orgasms is what causes certain men to be wildly successful financially and reach the pinnacle of their career. In this fast-paced and often riotously entertaining episode, you'll discover how both 'get rich quick' and 'get laid quick' usually don't work, and why the pickup artist movement had such a hard time figuring that out. Meanwhile, what exactly does this all-conquering sexual energy look like? What are the practical features of it? Do all those angry political people on Twitter just need to get laid? Why is it Delora can tell who's having great sex and who isn't just by asking them three questions? Contrary to popular belief, why are so many rich guys so lonely? How does the compliance vs. willingness factor enter into all of this? And what are the practical steps to m

The American Dream is often thought of as being all about achieving, acquiring and outperforming. Bigger, faster, better, more, more more. Indeed, when John D. Rockefeller was once asked how much money is enough, his answer was, 'just a little more'. My guest this time is Robert Althuis, author of Never Enoughitis, who has long since recognized how all of this is really just one big psychological trap. His mission is to redirect us from the treadmill of endless expectations regarding achievement and acquisitions and on to something much more fulfilling. Now, it may be true that you may have already risen above the need for '80s style 'conspicuous consumption' or keeping up with the Joneses. But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Many of us grew up with parents who pushed us to succeed, and 2nd place or a B+ wasn't an option. Meanwhile, in the midst of the ratrace, we never actually get to do what we really want. We grow up never satisfied, even though we keep trying harder and harder. Are we doomed to this c

Have you noticed how edgy and snippy people in general have been lately? There has been a lot of fear and turmoil over the past nine months or so, culminating in a particularly rough couple of weeks, and it has begun to wear on even the most stoic among us as men. So what in the world are we to do about that? And what if we found ourselves angry way too often even before 2020 descended upon us? Well, my guest Dr. Ron Potter-Efron is in my estimation the world's foremost expert on the topic of anger management. He claims anger is one of the top reasons why men go to a therapist, in stark contrast to the typical reasons why women do. It's no joke how many men seem to go through life fuming and snarling over just about any and everything that happens, even if it's something minor. We instinctively know such a mental state is intrinsically unattractive to women, yet we slip into fury and lose our temper anyway. What's up with that? And what's the difference between righteous indignation and the kind of anger that

Co-Host Zach Schleien (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/filteroff) My guest is the founder of an innovative new app that enables video speed dating. That means there's nobody better to join me for an all-important conversation on how to get past the dating frustrations of 2020 and on to the bold new world of 2021. In proper fashion, we kick it all off with a post mortem on 2020 dating and relating, including some eyebrow raising opinions with regard to what people out there have really been thinking and doing for the last year. But then it's on to the here and now. Will COVID continue to loom large well into this year? Will the vaccine change anything? Whether or not that's the case, will people's attitudes (and actions) change regardless? What is the idea behind video speed dating, and how is it different and more effective than the much-maligned OG version? Are there really benefits of meeting women over video as opposed to real-life, or is that just an excuse? Does this new paradigm stand any chance of repla

Well, two podcasts dropping on two holidays in a row means it's a moral imperative to have Emily back on again, especially since 2020 has finally drawn to a close and it's time to address 2021. What will the 'new normal' look like insofar as dating and relationships go? How soon until we can actually get there? What unexpected surprises might be in store for all of us, whether we're currently in a relationship or looking forward to getting into one? What can be observed from past pandemics and applied to the current dating situation? What are the perhaps untold truths about how men and women have been relating together all along for the last nine months? And what about some real-world strategies for making damn skippy sure 2021 is far better than 2020? How much of that is really within our control, anyway? Are we really going to be doomed to endless suggestions for 'Zoom dating'? Where can our source of optimism come from in a world where many believe it's as bad as it gets and won't get better anytime soon?

Last week on this very show I said out loud that I had never met anyone in a happy relationship who was miserable. That concept is worth a deeper discussion, and who better to have it with than the very woman I'm in a happy relationship with? Now obviously, one can be perfectly happy without being in any relationship at all, for sure. But right out of the gate, Emily floats several more complicated scenarios; asking if someone can be happy despite a miserable relationship, if miserable people necessarily get into equally miserable relationships, or if two people miserable in the same way can somehow contort themselves into their mutually-agreeable form of bliss together. But first things first. We define 'misery' in clear terms, then call out the 'elephant in the room' with regard to whether COVID lockdowns have wrought more relationship misery even among typically happy couples. What about couples who argue constantly, aren't they inherently miserable...or not necessarily? What happens when people who love d

I told Emily I was having the guy from Origin on my show, and she responded, 'War Engine? What's that?' Well, I got someone who is arguably just as cool. I'm joined by none other than Pete Roberts, host of the Hands and Daylight podcast and leader of the pack over at Origin. What you'll notice first about Pete is he's an all-around good dude who is clearly proud to be a man and walks the walk. We tackle the subject of everyday masculinity, meaning the little things we as men do--or should be doing--on a consistent basis. For starters, discover the mindset that mature, evolved men know is foundational to manhood, yet which young men almost always exhibit the exact opposite of...even as they think they're more macho by doing so. Next, how does a man handle daily interactions with both women AND other men, including over social media? Then I share my personal lesson from a Navy SEAL on how to be more of a man in the most subtle but powerful of ways. Is it true that if you don't have the capacity to be violent, y

In the last episode we talked in depth about the concept of self-awareness. This time, we turn our attention to the idea of self-worth. Obviously, this is all about how much value we assign to ourselves and is closely tied to self-respect. My guest is Kamini Wood, who as a mother of five knows the struggle is real to find time in life for self-ANYTHING. Nevertheless, she has given tons of thought to this topic and has arrived at the conclusion that most of us basically do the equivalent of outsourcing our self-worth. So what does that even MEAN, exactly? What other areas of self-evaluation and reflection is it tied to? How do particularly smart and/or analytical guys struggle? What can we do to guard against feeling like a Lone Ranger in the midst of all of this self-worth stuff? And what is the right way and the wrong way to involve others, lest we indeed not outsource our own self-worth? Why do men struggle so much with 'strong vulnerability', therefore suffering through tough patches that could have been a

My guest is Marine Corps Lt. Colonel Ann Bernard, who as head of 365 Firsts currently advocates for getting out of our infamous comfort/familiarity zones to try new and exciting adventures. Interestingly enough, she says much of our wherewithal in that regard comes from self-awareness. Now, I fully realize 'self-awareness' is one of those terms that may mean different things to different people, but in this episode you're in for one of the clearest and most direct descriptions of it ever. In addition to finding out the practical elements of it, you'll discover the symptoms of lacking self-awareness...and how a scary amount of guys don't even realize they do (which makes sense, if you think about it). So then, is this all related to identity, maturity and some of the other concepts we talk about frequently around here or is it something else completely? Can you actually have too much self-awareness? I mean, wouldn't that lead to self-consciousness (which is different!) and hyper-analysis issues? And on that no

When you get right down to it, if you're on a team your coaches and your cheerleaders have something important in common. They're both on your side, and they both want you to win. So it's really no wonder that a former Phoenix Suns cheerleader like my co-host Bee Evans would go on to become a professional coach. More specifically, Bee is a resilience coach, and one of her biggest soapboxes is 'tearing out the tags'. What's up with the human tendency to slap a label on everything and everyone? I mean, do face-value assertions and preconceived notions really serve the greater good? You can imagine the sneaky effect this kind of psychology has wrought upon relationships between men and women, let alone everyone else. Well, this episode's discussion starts with a disarming look at how Bee views her time with the Phoenix Suns nowadays compared to how she did in the moment, and it'll be no surprise that it has plenty to do with public stereotype versus objective reality. That leads to an eye-opening discussion of h

With the recent passing of Sir Sean Connery, there couldn't be a better time to celebrate the rich legacy of Ian Fleming's James Bond, particularly as played by the OG himself. We begin with a brief discussion of Connery's legacy of smooth, debonair masculinity on film, which despite his perhaps ironic off-screen issues with women in real life stands as nothing short of iconic. So if you've never seen a Sean Connery Bond flick, where should you start? And why even watch at all? I mean, what can we gain by studying the persona of Connery's 007, from his 'alpha' demeanor to his calm, cool and collected style with women? What are the takeaways from that for our real lives, meeting and interacting with real women? Is it feasible to actually live like James Bond, even if only on some levels...and only part way? And what is it about Connery's Bond in particular that is so magnetic to women? Speaking of women, what makes 'Bond Girls' in particular so exotic, alluring and downright desirable? And on the other hand, i

Well, now I've done it. I went and got a creativity coach as a guest co-host. His name is Jeff Leisawitz from Seattle, and you're in for a show that's guaranteed by its very nature to be fun, entertaining AND interesting. To start off, we all know it's not exactly easy to simply be creative at the drop of a hat. Therefore, we define creativity in, well...some truly creative terms. That quickly leads us to the sobering conclusion that despite what many think, creativity isn't really an optional 'luxury item'. It's absolutely integral to a life well-lived. But fear not, Jeff has an elegant way to tune your mind up for greater levels of creativity...all centered around one basic mindset shift. Here's a hint: plenty of us need to have a more creative vision of creativity itself. Is it really true there's no such thing as an original thought? What is it that separates mere talent from truly legendary status? And on a far less lofty level, how does Jeff coax guys to start thinking 'out of the box' for once? What ha

The idea for this episode on dying well--or dying gallantly and with dignity, if you will--has been on my radar screen for quite a while. The issue was finding the right guest to make it as powerful a show as it deserves to be. Enter my new friend Larry Indiviglia. First off, Larry is a United States Naval Academy graduate, so he knows plenty about duty, honor and sacrifice. On top of that, however, he had the particularly notable experience just this year of meeting a woman who was dying of cancer, falling in love, and being by her side until the very end. He has written a book about that experience, and in this show shares his unique and powerful thoughts of a life well-lived to the very last breath. So for starters, what exactly does it mean to die well? Despite the archetypal theme of going out in a blaze of glory, is that reasonable--or even possible? Why are such themes in stories like Gran Torino and Breaking Bad so incredibly fascinating and alluring to us as men? Is it necessarily true that we die al

Get ready for an empowering, uplifting show at precisely the time in history when we could all use it. My long-time friend and all-around nice lady Iris Benrubi joins me to talk about personal power. In particular, we're revealing and discussing those little hidden places in your life where you can actually DO something. But to start off, we wonder aloud why so many people seem to actively want to retreat into victimhood, despite the negative impact that has on confidence and self-esteem. It's no wonder that the idea of personal agency all starts with figuring out what we actually want and how to get it, right? And is it true you're going to end up exactly like your parents, no matter what? Could it be true that doing the exact opposite of what you're conditioned to could be just as disempowering as simply falling in line with groupthink? How does the tangle between opportunity and consequences affect our psychological mindset? Do we really have to hit rock bottom and lose all that makes us comfortable before

Okay, here it is. We don't talk about marriage very often on this show. Simply put, it's a topic that tends to polarize the audience. Nevertheless, you really can't expect to cover all of the bases when it comes to dating and relationships without ever addressing it. Enter my guest Amy Schoen, who specializes in the field of marriage readiness. Together she and I decided that a particularly fun and useful angle would be to talk about what it means to be 'marriage material'. Now, to be sure this pretty much aligns with the concepts of 'boyfriend material' and 'girlfriend material'. So then, this show offers equal opportunity visibility into what indicates long-term potential for either a man or a woman. Interestingly enough, even when women aren't particularly looking for a serious relationship, they still tend to be super-attracted to men with qualities that indicate long-term potential. Perhaps weirdly, that is even often the case when they're looking for a quick fling. So do I have your attention yet? What

My guest is best known for his work on introversion, but the topic of this show is sure to hit the target regardless of your personality type. At its essence, it's all about how to be influential. So what's the right way and the wrong way to do that? I mean, isn't attention seeking for insecure, needy guys and self-promotion for douches? And hold on...isn't this whole desire to be seen, known, remembered somewhat narcissistic at its very core? Well, none of that is necessarily true. That can only mean there's an altogether better and more effective way to be truly memorable, which Nick and I discuss in sometimes alarming, at times unexpected, but always encouraging detail. And let's not kid ourselves. Even if you're not entirely motivated to conquer the world and leave your mark on a grand scale, that relatively low-key lifestyle you're content with may even be at risk if you fail to be influential in any measurable way. So then, what are the first outward steps to having more of an impact on those around us?

Everyone has heard about how men have a feminine side and women a masculine one. How true is that? And if it's the case, how does the concept typically manifest itself? Is it a good thing, or is it something we would be better off minimizing the effects of? And wait a minute...are the traits and behaviors that we somewhat automatically consider masculine or feminine really such, or are they simply human? What if all of this is just a social construct to begin with? But what if it isn't? Then what? Does that change the whole perspective? I mean, if masculinity is 'toxic' as we're led to believe nowadays, why are so many women trying to act like men? What if we all migrated toward the feminine instead? But can't there be such a thing as 'toxic femininity' in that case? After all, is femininity always 'soft' and inherently innocuous? And what of the idea that masculine dominance is sexy to women...how can that be? How come there are tomboys but no such thing as a tomgirl? What do single moms have to do with all

Fresh off of his Oval Office interview with The President, author and editor of America's 1st Freedom Magazine Frank Miniter returns to the show for a deep dive into how to rise above all the fearmongering going on in today's media. As Kipling wrote, a real man keeps his head when all about him are losing theirs, and this episode gets to the heart of that matter. To begin with, what exactly is it that's driving a culture of non-stop fearmongering these days? Can it really be only about the election...and will it therefore stop after November 3rd? What decidedly human element is nearly always lacking in a culture of fearmongering, yet acts as the perfect antidote for it? How can you be a flat-out disruptive force against rampant fear right now in a way that will make women love, love, love you for it? And how about fear itself...what is it? Is it binary? Should we learn how to deal with it and perhaps harness it, or eliminate it altogether? You'll hear what famous men of courage have said about that in the pas