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Thriving in Modern Times. It’s Easy.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard somebody say— "If I knew I would live this long, I would have cared for myself better and saved more money." True or true? Modern times are exciting, and when it comes to living a long life, people either think life is too short or long. If you do things correctly, long enough is the best answer, but 200 years ago, most folks didn't have the luxury of thinking about things like that. If you lived during those times, you lived at a slower and harder pace. And, since time is relative, your perception was also slower. Everything was slower. It would be like a two-week, off-the-grid vacation in a mountain cabin without your phone in modern times if you think about it. That used to be daily life. Yes, living to the ripe old age of 40 felt like living to 100 today - if something simple didn't take you out sooner.  When California had open land, low-priced real estate, and gold in them-there-hills, almost everybody died much younger tha

Building Your Bridge to Happiness Changing something about your life is pretty straightforward.  Figure out what you want and change it. Are you done laughing? Most folks fall on the way to their dreams because they don't move, move at the wrong time, or move too fast. That's why it's time to build your bridge once you know what you want. Here's how: 1) Fortify your current foundation. Save money, pay bills, and do whatever it takes to build a firm and peaceful base. 2) Begin constructing the foundation for your new life. Go to school, network, research, and plan. Do everything in your power to ensure your success with no regret. 3) When you're ready, leave your past behind, cut off the old, and begin living your new life. Be patient. Wait until you are at least 70% ready to succeed before you cross to the other side.   Success arrives when you move from a solid TODAY for a stronger TOMORROW. Don't leap too soon, but don't delay, either. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes You Need to Be Someone Else Have you allowed yourself to become the person you are on the inside?   We all make decisions that change our life trajectory without much thought. That can lead to feelings of being lost on your life path. Maybe it's time to create a new way of seeing yourself. Using a Transitional Identity is a great way to feel confident when you can’t believe in your future.   The trick is to focus on the smaller steps to your destination. That will allow you to move away from who you are, yet not jump to who you want to be in one big step.   “I’m running a successful small business and laying the foundation for my empire. All I have to do is keep moving.” “I’m a great student. Very soon, I will be a great teacher to others. All I have to do is keep moving.” “I’m incredible at losing 1 pound at a time. Soon, I’ll hit my goal and weigh 100 pounds. All I have to do is keep moving.” Transitional Identities are temporary and ever-changing. They are helpful when destinations are hard to se

Life is Happier With Values An immense frustration for most folks is feeling like other people are getting in the way. That will stop the very instant you begin to live according to your Values as you work toward your Goals. Here's the simple recipe for enjoying every minute of the day: 1) Know, understand, and practice living your Values. While it's difficult, you will feel happier and in control. 2) Be sure only to set Goals that allow you to practice your Values along the way. Doing otherwise is not being who you are. 3) Prepare for a shock wave from people who wonder why you won't do things their way. And get ready for the peace of mind you will begin to feel. Self-directing your life according to your innermost thoughts is the ultimate power. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Creating Your Average Perfect Day How would you feel if every day, on average, was as you wanted?   It's time to make your dreams come true and create your "Average Perfect Day."  Here's how it works: 1) Find a quiet spot and write a detailed description of your perfect day. Let your fantasies flow onto paper until you've mapped out morning until night. 2) Focus on your daily experiences, not material goods. In other words, if you want a sports car, focus on how you feel in the driver's seat.   3) Fight the urge to judge. The goal is to slow down, tap into your core, and get excited about what's possible.  There is one last rule that you must follow. There are no limitations and no consequences. Let yourself be free to dream. You are going to be surprised how many start coming true. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Traditions Are Happiness Are you a person who always does things the same way or prefers to change things at every chance? If you're lucky, you are both. Traditions are the secret sauce behind our emotional connection at this time of year. Family get-togethers, office gatherings, crazy shopping crowds? The traditions make our lives unique and are always present, never forgotten, and form the fabric of our lives. They are very human, and they are essential. But let's return to my earlier comment that "traditions make our lives special." The fact is, somebody has to make the tradition.  Is that you? My wife and I were walking in the neighborhood and noticed Janice was almost finished with her Christmas decorations. I stopped and said— "Wow. That looks like a lot of work!" "Yes, it is. But I love it, and it's my tradition," she said. "Well, thank you for making Christmas great for the rest of us." Whether Christmas, New Year's, or any other time, traditions are the same as habits and rituals. They make our lives

Escaping Your Past  My mind is constantly searching for a simple process for anything that will help me get what I want, and that usually comes down to something I talk about a lot: making a decision.  I speak about decision-making much of my day because it’s the most dynamic tool in your personal growth tool kit.  It should be easy — Almost everything you will ever want to do in life has already been done. The solution to getting what you wish to should be based on logic and proven steps. In other words, figure out what works and do it.  But, as much as we can all agree that it should be easy, using logic to get what we want doesn’t have much to do with being a human—that’s where emotions and a more psychological approach come into play.  “Come on, let’s just do what we know works?” You say. “No. I’m not feeling it. Let’s go with the flow and figure it out?” Logical vs emotional thinking is an epic battle that Stephen Spielberg could tell in a blockbuster movie. Oh, wait, it always is! Let’s take a side trip

The Gift of YOU As we approach the most spiritual time of year, I find more and more of my thoughts are focused on what my future will bring. But instead of drafting a list of goals, my mind seems to settle into a different place— What if I could give myself a gift that instantly gives me what I want? What if I don't have to chase my dreams and start living them instead? What if there was nothing in my way - ever? While that way of thinking may seem out of touch today, it's not. It happens daily for millions of people worldwide and can happen to you, too. Here's a simple truth— Everything changes instantly and, very likely, forever when you decide.  If you hate your job and decide to quit, everything changes. Everything changes instantly if you decide you need space for yourself, turn your phone off, and walk in the woods. If you say "Yes" to yourself and "No" to others more often, you experience change. I could go on forever, but I don't need to. If you've been alive for any time, you understand that you're

Happy and DON’T Know it? I can’t remember her name, but I can tell you she was not a happy person.   I arrived for a class reunion on a hot, hazy, and humid Virginia day. As I stepped toward the check-in table, a friend of more than thirty years locked eyes with me, broke into tears, and screamed— “Oh, Scott… can you help me?”  Next, she bolted out of her seat, ran around the table, and hugged me… and hugged me… and hugged me… and hugged me.   This is not the first time this has happened, and as a professional, I knew what I would say, “Of course I’ll help. Just let me get settled.“  Frankly, I was buying time to figure out why somebody I have never known not to be happy was acting unhappy.  What had changed? Nothing. My friend found herself a full-fledged member of The Always Club, as in “I always wanted to be thin and in shape… I always wanted to find my purpose in life… I always wanted to make more money… I always… I was a member of The Always Club, along with about a gazillion other folks trying to figure

What Do You Want For Christmas? Last year, sometime between Halloween and Thanksgiving, I found myself finishing leftover candy and biting into a Jolly Rancher - a recipe for disaster for anybody with a mouth full of dental work.  As you might have predicted, it wasn't long before I was at the dentist. I don't like dentists much. Maybe it was because, as a kid, our family dentist was Dr. PAIN… uh… Dr. Payne. Still, there I was with the sound of drilling and suction filling the room, along with the occasional mumbled answer coming from my mouth, answering important questions like, "What have you been up to lately?" Then tell me not to move my mouth. Seriously?  Is that a skill they teach at dental school?  Please wait until your patient can't speak and ask them a question.  That's like me asking my young kids a question at the dinner table and telling them not to chew with their mouths open. But that's life.  Sometimes, life doesn't make sense, even though I would argue that things are always good, which is wh

How to Live an ALL IN Life I want to become the person I am meant to be. That’s something that I hear daily in my life from people all over the world. Frankly, beyond living a joyful life, I can’t think of anything more important than growing to become who you know you are. Most people tend to work in different areas of their life. All will say that family and friends are the most important, but they tend to focus on their career and legacy - especially after the kids move out. But here is a problem… For many years, most people, including myself, tended to get lost in developing specific areas of their lives while others were on hold. While outwardly successful, they wouldn’t be on the phone with me if everything was going perfectly. It’s not; it’s hit or miss, causing sleepless nights. A solution is an ALL-IN approach to living. Over time, I’ve developed the solid belief that whatever you deem as the ultimate best use of your life will only happen after you have evolved every area of your life - and do it ev

From Scarcity To Abundance I will let it rip and admit that I have a personality trait that doesn’t always serve me. Well, maybe I have several? Still, there is a big one that I’m always working to eliminate. I’m a thinker, and I like to ponder ideas, take my time, and know my path before I get to it. I’m also a guy who locks in on what works and holds on like a Pit Bull with a Ribeye—holding on tends to favor iteration but gets in the way of a more significant change. Now, it’s entirely possible that you would see those traits as good. After all, it’s the rituals of life that make life good. You’re right. Still… Going for big stuff takes commitment and a bit of confidence, risk tolerance, and maybe a couple of glasses of wine. You might also have to release your safety blanket because it could hold you back. It all comes down to scarcity. A few days ago, I reached out to clients and asked - “How do you define scarcity?” Predictably, most described it as not having enough of what they wanted. They also descri

It's Time to Get Off The Fence Okay, I'm feeling a little bit lazy today, so I will cut to the chase and bestow upon you the secret to success you've been seeking.  Success requires that you do the hard work.  It doesn't take a scientist to figure out that if you want more, you will have to do something to get it. Still, we live in a world that makes it seem like it should be easier, and it's not. Success takes a lot of hard work - even if you don't see it. Successful YouTubers make it look easy - after thousands of hours of trial and error. Musicians seemingly live their dream - after years of living in a tour bus and making pennies. Even people who do nothing but accept the generosity of society to make their way are working hard at a life you would never want. It doesn't matter what you want, good or bad, prosperous or not, happy or sad; it will take a lot of work to accomplish it. If you have a choice, and you do, why wouldn't you choose to work hard to bring goodness into your life? You become interested

Universe Whispering In Your Ear Does the Universe whisper to you? Before I go on, you need to know that I can go pretty deep into the world of woo-woo in my beliefs. Still, the real-world dude in me makes me realize that while it may be fun to ride a unicorn to the coffee shop, I haven’t yet been able to request one from Uber.  You may believe that your life is already planned for you or that you can ask for what you to manifest. In any case, you can’t deny that something is whispering directions to you all day long. Are you listening? While there are many ways people seek to receive messages of guidance as we make life decisions, my favorite has always been events that occur in triplicate. If something happens three times, I pay attention. Call me hard-headed, distracted, or set in my ways, but life has taught me that wisdom tends to come in whispers - usually when our thoughts are screaming in our heads and drowning out our dreams. Now, let me be clear... A friend calling three times to go out on the town d

Empowering Emotional Triggers I love it when we miraculously put together the perfect day, and life decides to get in the way.  Well, it's not life, and maybe I don't love it, but occasionally, something or someone will cross your path get in your way. I don't know anybody who doesn't get hit smack in the face with a situation that triggers a feeling deep inside their soul, stirs emotion, and results in a reaction or response that makes you say, "Why did I say that?" Of course, we are emotional creatures, so it makes sense that robust emotional responses are a thing for most of us. Still, common sense will tell you it doesn't always serve us. It gets even worse when people sedate their emotions to protect themselves. Not only do they miss great opportunities, but when they are triggered, it becomes an 8.0 earthquake. So, how do you deal with it? The way I handle it is to understand that triggers usually happen when I least expect them. Still, my ScottLOGIC tells me that once I experience the trigger and learn

Too Many Choices Mean No Choice My wife and I were looking for something on Netflix and found ourselves repeating the scroll several times. Finally, the screen changed, and the graphic offered us a choice. It said, "just play something?" Yes, please. Just play something so I can put the remote control down and get back to petting my dog. Thinking back on the moment, I was reminded of a book I read long ago. In 2005, Barry Schwartz wrote Paradox of Choice. It challenged the traditional thinking that maximizing choice is the way to maximum freedom.   It may feel good, but too many choices lead to decision fatigue. Yes, too many choices are not necessarily good, and they can create paralysis. No matter what you choose, you'll always wonder if you could have done better. Here's my advice to you: 1) Limit your choices. Having every option won't serve you. Narrow your list to things that truly get your attention.  2) If you find yourself confused, permit yourself to try other options. 3) If in doubt, choose to spen

Clearing Your Clutter I’ve noticed in my life that humans are hoarders when it comes to keeping stuff that works and doesn’t. They keep hanging on; their life depends on it. Now, before I go on, I think there are two situations at play here: 1) Hanging on to what has worked well but needs to go so you can do more of what you want to do. 2) Hanging on what doesn’t work in hopes that it will work well someday. Both can go on for years and lead to frustration as you long for something else.  I was on the phone with a client this morning, and we ran into that situation. We began dealing with it a few months ago, and it’s still rearing its ugly head in her life.  After exploring it from every angle— Should I keep it? Should I put it to the side and come back to it? Should I toss it and start over? Should I… should I… should I. I finally said the only thing that came to mind - “The mere fact that you keep questioning it tells me that you want to drop it. You’re just worried about what comes next, which is strange b

Slow Dow To Speed Up I was riding my Harley-Davidson Road King a few days ago when my mind suddenly thought - “The Chinese Philosophical concept of Yin and yang describes how opposite or contrary forces may be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world.” What? What? Huh? Okay. I wasn’t that details until a bit later and some Googling. Still - It happened right before the Daytona Speedway and was thinking about the advice I give my clients about slowing down. It goes like this - “You must slow down to get what you want.” Advice like that is why I get the big bucks for what I do. No, not really. I get paid because nobody believes me, and it’s up to me to prove it. Let’s go riding. Whenever I’m cruising on my motorcycle, I love fast and loud because it makes me smile. That’s the Yin of riding a bike, but you can only go fast and loud for so long before the light turns red in front of you or blue behind you.   Occasionally, the place you were speeding toward gets congested, and you hav

Success From Habitat "You need to get out of your comfort zone to succeed!" I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. Thankfully, that silly advice is something I've only accepted a couple of times. I wouldn't say I liked every second of it; I ran right back into what makes me comfortable as soon as I could, and I have never told anybody to leave their comfort zone. "But, Scott? Isn't getting out of your comfort zone how you get what you want?" Yes, and no. Don't get me wrong. I firmly believe that you should continually be expanding the limits of your comfort zone to grow into the next chapter of your life. I think you should be pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone until you feel the bubble around you about to burst.  Why do I believe this so strongly? Because you will never perform to your full potential if you are not comfortable with your situation, environment, skill set, and just about anything else.  Yes, you will do things that scare you occasionally, but you will only grow when the dram

Secret to Find Your Passion What do I want to be when I grow up?  The first time you ask yourself that question is when you are very young - if you ever asked it. Frankly, somebody else usually asks you, and you probably didn't have an answer and just took off running with this thing called life.  And then it happens — Forty or fifty years later, people start asking themselves that question again after a family and career. The lucky ones don't confine it until they retire; they question who they are. It can be a scary time. If you are looking for a change in your life, here are a few things to understand— You can't move forward by hanging on to what you have.  Remember, you get more of what you focus on in your life. If you focus on what you give up, you'll get more. Instead, you must focus on the unknown future and look for clues about what you will do. I call the process "Exploring Your Possibilities. Imagine if anything is possible and there is no limitation or consequence. There is no commitment required,