Savage Lovecast

Oh Lordy, hear the tale of the twisted teen! He’s been sneaking into neighbors’ houses and stealing their sex toys, including some from elderly women. How dangerous is this kid? Should someone call the cops? How can his long-suffering mother correct him and end this behavior? What do you do when you’re disgusted by your girlfriend squirting? What do you do when you’re repulsed by your boyfriend coming in your mouth? Two separate calls, one conundrum.  On the Magnum, Dan and Atlantic writer Faith Hill confront the misconception that rebound relationships are inferior or doomed. Hill brings up research showing that rebounds can help people heal from break ups and often blossom into long term relationships themselves.  A TOTAL NERD (with a girlfriend) has built himself a makeshift sex robot. Using a fleshlight, VR goggles and maybe paperclips, the caller wonders if jacking it into this bride of Frankenstein is an act of infidelity.  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian

“Goodbye son, I’m off to Kink Camp!” A gay caller’s dad got divorced, came out as poly, and won’t shut up about it. He introduces the caller to all the girlfriends and brags about his various exploits. Our poor caller doesn’t want to hear the various details. How can he set some reasonable boundaries with his horndog dad?  A woman’s spiritual leader is a Buddhist who leads meditation and holds counseling sessions. He’s 20 years her senior, and she thinks he’s kind of hot. He sent her some photos of a burlesque event that he went to including a stripper on a pole. The caller is conflicted. She knows this was inappropriate, but she kind wants to sleep with him anyway.  On the Magnum, Dan enlists a pro to help with some tricky questions. A three-way goes horribly wrong, when the man of the trio busts out humiliating insults to his partner without warning or consent. A woman has to clean up the estate of her departed father, only to find his porn collection. Dan brings on couples and sex therapist Leslie Sherman

When it comes to love, never ever give up. Unless you really, really should. A woman has been crushed out on her best friend for years. Each time she asks if he feels the same, he gives her an unequivocal “No.” Should she keep pestering him?  Continuing in the theme of delusions, a caller heard that semen can prevent hair loss, and anecdotally noticed that his stomach does have quite a lot of hair, right on the target. Dear listeners, he’s been rubbing his own spunk on his head. Will it work? Dan enlists the help of dermatology professor Dr. S. Max Vale to either confirm or deny the efficacy of this practice.  More science! On the Magnum, it’s a “What You Got?” with evolutionary biologist Dr. Matilda Brindle. Her paper explores masturbation among primates, how ding-dang common it is, and how it might protect against pathogens. Dan approves.  Ok. So she fucked her friend, even though he has a girlfriend and they are supposed to be monogamous. Once the girlfriend found out, she banished her boyfriend to sleep a

See you next week on July 25!

Every day a certain number of people learn about sounding. Our first call is from one of these people and he has some questions. Are you next? Listen in.  A woman with chronic illness and pain has a calm, pragmatic attitude about her condition. But how can she roll this out to new partners, and when?   On the Magnum, do you have a dick, or love someone who has one? Then this is the show for you! Dr. Ashley Winter, our urologist pal is on (with her newborn baby occasionally chiming in,) to answer some broken or ailing penis questions. Bent dicks, numb dicks, hard dicks, softs dicks- she’s seen them all. Did you know that doctors love penis pumps? They do! They’re good for you! You know what’s bad though? Putting your penis in a vacuum. Consider yourself warned.  And, listen to Dan’s conversation with a man who has been enjoying a stable poly foursome for 5 years…until now.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant activ

Happy birthday America, damn you’re kinky! This week’s show features a ton of calls by the kinky, those who love them, or those who are considering becoming them. Let’s dive in.  A woman and her bestie are no longer speaking to each other. Why? Because she refuses to help change out the caller’s labia piercing jewelry.  A switch woman (she can either be the dom or sub,) isn’t into humiliation. But all her partners assume she is or try to push her into it. How can she be clear about this simple hard no?  On the Magnum, it’s Mollena a.k.a “the Perverted Negress” or “The Kink Doula.” She and Dan talk about how to get started with S&M gradually, how doms have feelings too, and the rookie mistake of assuming your sub is willing to be a 24/7 slave. Until you do some planning and negotiation, you don’t just get a free laundress.  A woman lives in a community that has a lot of traumatized war veterans and refugees. She is into varsity level rough sex. She recently demanded that her lover hit her harder even though sh

A woman and her husband have quit drinking. Hooray! But now that he’s sober he no longer feels comfortable getting pegged. Boo! How can he lower his inhibitions without the liquid courage? Dan chats with a woman who finally convinced her boyfriend to tell her about his secret, deep, dark, unrealizable fantasy. She and Dan problem-solve how to make it all work for him. Lucky lad… On the Magnum, just when you thought Pride month couldn’t get any gayer, Dan chats with Manuel Betancourt, author of The Male Gazed. They talk about the lasting impact of hiding your sexuality when you most want to express it, performing masculinity, wrestling singlets and a ton more.  A transman has fallen in love with his best friend- a tranwoman. They had great sex, but the friend isn’t ready to be in a sexual relationship with the caller. How can he get over his heartbreak? He feels like she is the only one who truly understands him.  We understand.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064

Ah. The old jiz-on-the-couch problem. This time it’s a 13 year-old boy just learning about the wonders of his youthful body. His mother wishes he would learn about socks and tissues.  We’ve been hearing the word “narcissistic” hurled at exes a lot these days. But it is a genuine psychiatric disorder, and a rare one. Dan chats with Rebecca Fishbein who wrote an article in Bustle about therapy-speak and how it’s been weaponized lately.  On the Magnum, Dan brings back sociology professor Dr. Kelsy Burke to talk about her new book- The Pornography Wars. They talk about the many enemies arrayed against porn throughout history, how porn and porn addiction get defined, and they advise a caller on whether he should tell his jealous girlfriend that he occasionally watches homemade porn of his exes.  And, somehow a gay man in the South doesn’t know if there are apps that help people in open relationships meet and get laid.  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress f

They are a butch, gender-queer AFAB, kinky pervert. As such, they love going to sex parties. Their boyfriend meanwhile, is straight, vanilla and family oriented. Their relationship is open, and he’s found a lass he wants to bone down with. But the caller doesn’t want him to! It’s a complicated situation, and Dan is here to help.  Next up, Dan chats with a caller whose new dom demands that she shave off all her body hair for an erotic “inspection.” But she’s a feminist and has issues with this request. Should she do it? Did she do it? Hear their convo and find out.  On the Magnum, have you heard of “compersion?” Our spell check program sure hasn’t! It comes to us straight from poly-land. It’s “the positive emotion one feels when one sees their partner with another person.” Our guest this week is Dr. Marie Thouin, an expert on the concept. She and Dan discuss how compersion and jealousy can coexist, how it differs from cuckolding, and how long until San Fransisco is one giant polycule? Finally, a woman is in th

A straight man detests condoms with all his heart. Even the thought of putting on one of those rubbers makes him deflate like the ears on a 2-day-old balloon rabbit. Is this a fetish of some kind? It prevents him from having sex and it’s bumming him out.  There seems to be a fair bit of confusion about silicone sex toys and lube. Can silicone lube harm silicone sex toys? Or do they love each other so much? Dan hops on the phone with Searah Deysach from Chicago’s Early to Bed sex toy store, to set the record straight.  On the Magnum, things get heavy with a slew of questions concerning sexual abuse and trauma. Consider yourself trigger-warned. Dan brings on Dr. Leila Wood, a researcher and social worker at Austin’s Center for Sexual Violence Prevention. They talk about how to support a friend in an abusive relationship, the difficulty partners can have in playing the “villain” in erotic contexts and how kinky sex can be profoundly healing.  Finally, why all the hate for Mother’s Day? Can’t we all just get alon

A woman feels guilty that she’s only interested in tall men. How can she weed out the little fellas?  Our guest this week is author Matt Baume, to discuss his fantastic book “Hi Honey, I’m Homo,” which looks at queer history through the lens of old TV shows. Shows like Soap, Bewitched and All in the Family grappled with gayness in secret and overt ways that reflect the historical context of when they aired. And because this is the Savage Lovecast, Dan makes Matt answer a question about fucking trees. Some of the convo is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum.  A man plans to propose to his girlfriend. His mom died when he was very young, leaving behind a diamond in his dad’s care. His dad really wants him to give this diamond to his fiancé, but the caller doesn’t want to. What should he do?  And, a woman is begging you. Please, please, please, if you have a penis, can wash it before you plan to use it? And wash your underpants too?  Sure you can!  Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brough

A gay man is simultaneously weirded out and turned on by using the word “daddy” with his boyfriend. Should he stop immediately?  A woman’s husband cheated on her and it breaks her heart. She can’t divorce him because she would get deported. How can she stay married and stay sane for the next three years when she can become a legal citizen?  On the Magnum, we take a deep dive into the freaky, freaky world of the animal kingdom with zoologist and best-selling author Lucy Cooke. Her book “Bitch: On the Female of the Species” offers plenty of Lovecast fodder. She and Dan discuss the blurry, complicated connection between sex & gender, how science is riddled with cultural bias, and a ton of animal fun facts. (Some of you sub fellas are going to want to be reincarnated as an angler fish.)  And, a woman new to her very small town just ended a 2 month relationship. Her ex’s best friend swooped in and invited her to join him in a threesome. She wants to! The couple is hot! But would this make her a bad ex? Would it ma