The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Last week we learned all about AoC co-host Johnny Dzubak (@dzubak). This week, we’re turning the spotlight around to hear the life story of AJ. How did he go from science wiz to football player? And then from cancer biologist to Art of Charm co-founder? Tune in to this episode to hear the story behind your co-host’s unique trajectory. The Cheat Sheet: Who is AJ Harbinger? How did navigating difficult family dynamics shape AJ’s emotional fingerprint? What did facing rejection from girls teach AJ about confronting fear? What does a PhD student do when something else is calling? How was The Art of Charm formed? And so much more… Full show notes at  https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-johnny-interviews-aj-episode-699 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers

Johnny Dzubak (@dzubak) grew up in Greensburg, PA, honed his musical chops in Chapel Hill, NC, and now runs The Art of Charm in Los Angeles, CA with AJ. But how did he get from there to here? Listen while Johnny shares his story. The Cheat Sheet: Who is Johnny Dzubak? What is The Rust Belt Scowl? What did musical aspirations teach Johnny about social dynamics? How did Johnny and AJ meet and really become friends? Does Johnny consider himself an introvert or an extrovert? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-aj-interviews-johnny-episode-698/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no cred

There's a fine line between pushy and pushover. In this toolbox episode, we learn 10 ways to maintain resolve and stay high value in personal and professional conflict situations. "Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate." -John F. Kennedy The Cheat Sheet: Avoiding conflict only delays its resolution. High value conflict resolution seeks a win/win. Discover the three criteria for effective negotiation. Learn 10 ways to maintain high value in conflict resolution. Know the difference between lens and empathy. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-high-value-conflict-resolution-episode-697/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with ru

Mental models and frameworks guide the way we make decisions in everyday life -- but what are they, where do we get them, and how can we make sure we're not sticking with outdated defaults? The Cheat Sheet: Mental models are our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and everything in it. Our mental models are made up of past experiences, misunderstandings, incomplete facts, and intuitive perceptions -- as a result, every mental model has shortcomings. Our mental models influence our actions, and our actions influence our mental models. Unhelpful mental models of the world can lead us to making bad decisions and taking ineffective actions; helpful mental models move us forward in life. We need to make sure we're using the right tool for the right job. Even outdated mental models aren't entirely valueless if we know how to adapt their relevant aspects to updated ones. And so much more... Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com

In order to welcome high value people into our lives, we have to make sure we're leading with value ourselves. Here's what we can do to make it happen. The Cheat Sheet: Even the highest value people have bad days where they exhibit low value behaviors. How do we know when this is an exception and not a rule? How we can use the 80/20 principle to make sure we're not judging ourselves or others too harshly. Why honesty makes a great gauge for sorting out high value from low value people. How we can welcome high value people into our lives once we've freed up our social circle from its low value deadweight. What we can do in the workplace to lead with value no matter what our role happens to be. And so much more... Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid

Your heroes and role models are probably what most would consider high value people. Listen to this episode of The Art of Charm to learn how to soar to their inspirational ranks rather than sinking to the selfish temptations of low value living. The Cheat Sheet: Discover why high value people who give get more from their relationships than low value people who only know how to take. Understand why showing a little genuine attention, appreciation, and acceptance to someone can have a giant impact. See why the low value people in your life are more likely to drag you down with them than you are of pulling them up. Learn how to better filter high value people into your life and filter out low value people. Find out what a high value person gets from taking on responsibility that the low value person loses by trying to wiggle out of it. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-value-toolbox-becoming-high-value-episode-694/ DesignCrowd helps startups and small busine

Do you unknowingly exhibit low value behaviors that keep you from connecting with others? Check out this episode of The Art of Charm to identify and renounce these low value behaviors for good. The Cheat Sheet: What does it mean to be a high value individual? How can we identify and eliminate our own low value behaviors? What high value behaviors can we nurture in the stead of low value behaviors? How can we spread our high value to others? What science supports the benefits -- to ourselves and others -- of being high value, and how can we find a balance between being givers and being taken advantage of? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-value-toolbox-identifying-low-value-behaviors-episode-693/ DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Acuity Sc

John Heffron (@JohnHeffron) is a comedian who emerged victorious from the second season of NBC's Last Comic Standing, has appeared in numerous comedy specials, and just released his latest album, The Laughs You Deserve from the '70s, '80s, '90s, and Today. The Cheat Sheet: Learn how John Heffron uses psychology to read a crowd in real time. Understand how to apply John's comedy-honed skills when you're speaking to a crowd or an individual. Discover different ways to anchor and connect various types of body language and nonverbal communication to get the desired reaction from your audience. Hear about charisma patterns: personality archetypes that require different energy levels and interaction. Find out how NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) can be used to deliver results -- even if you might discount it as hokey at first. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/john-heffron-the-laughs-you-deserve-episode-692/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm

Eric Thomas (@ericthomasbtc) is a motivational speaker, YouTube personality, podcaster, pastor, director of Breathe University, and author of several books, including The Secret to Success: When You Want to Succeed as Bad as You Want to Breathe. "Don't allow the options in your community to be the only options you explore." -Eric Thomas The Cheat Sheet: How Eric Thomas went from homeless to PhD to become one of the world's top motivational speakers. How and why to get out of our psychological bubbles whether we're broke or millionaires. Why we do not have to accept life as it was given to us. How to break out of patterns and mindsets that no longer serve us. What taking responsibility for our own actions ultimately gives us (and what blaming others takes away). And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/eric-thomas-the-hip-hop-preacher-episode-691/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Wine Access has been America's best kept wine secre

Allan Pease (@AllanPease) is an Australian body language expert and co-author of 18 bestselling books on communication who once taught Vladimir Putin how to read western body language. The Cheat Sheet: Find out how Allan Pease began building his expertise in body language from the tender age of five. While the science might still be in deliberation, what does business say about power poses? How did Allan wind up being the guy who Vladimir Putin called to teach him western body language? Learn to use the compliments trick (and spot when it's being used on you). Discover how to spot a potential liar using body language, clusters, and nonverbal signals. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/allan-pease-definitive-body-language-episode-690/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people

Leo Babauta (@zen_habits) of Zen Habits shares how he's modified his own behavior to conquer bad habits and create good ones. The Cheat Sheet: Find out how an overweight smoker resigned to living in Guam broke a laundry list of bad habits to move to California, work his dream job, and run ultramarathons. Learn how to make daily forays into discomfort that have you welcoming adversity like an old friend instead of something to be avoided. Why self-evaluation that makes you feel good is a habit that leads to unhappiness (and what you can do instead). Why you should treat your ego like a child. How you can stop dilly-dallying and be more decisive. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/leo-babauta-zen-habits-episode-689/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Wine Access has been America's best kept wine secret...until now. Get $50 off towards your first purchase of $150 or more by ordering through our special link: wineaccess.com/jorda

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you build a closer, stronger relationship with a parent who's always seemed distant? How do you distance yourself from a terrible stepparent? Are all your friends really self-absorbed? What is the value of networking for teachers? How does a stressed-out high school student who aspires to be a neurosurgeon deal with parents who don't believe in real problems like depression? What are our top takeaways from voice coaching? Are you snobby if you think someone you're dating should have ambitions beyond their entry-level job? Recommendation of the Week: Chuck Norris vs. Communism Quick shoutouts to everyone who sent nice holiday cards and gifts -- notably the microphone keychain that was separated from its card so we have no idea who sent it! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line a

Lewis Howes (@LewisHowes) rejoins us to discuss his latest book, The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives. "We aren't able to fully heal until we start sharing the things we're most ashamed of, the things we're most afraid of, and the things we're most insecure about." -Lewis Howes The Cheat Sheet: What masks do we wear when we're not being our genuine selves, and what compels us to put them on in the first place? How do we know when wearing a mask is serving a purpose and when it's time to put it away? Understand how bottled-up childhood trauma -- more common than many realize -- can make us wear lifelong masks that turn us into strangers with ourselves. Lewis Howes shares real-life examples of what's happened to him from wearing the wrong mask at the wrong time. Discover the catalytic turning point that led Lewis to find out who he really was beneath all these masks. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.c

Paul Gilmartin (@mentalpod) is the host and producer of The Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast, known for his brutal honesty, authenticity, and transparency. The Cheat Sheet: How addiction works as a frame of mind and what a support group offers an addict on the road to recovery. Why shaming ourselves into becoming better people is a terrible strategy for self improvement. Why someone living a seemingly successful life envied by others might have suicidal thoughts multiple times a day. The ripple effect a traumatic childhood can have on an adult and what can be done to move on. The role of social intelligence and a code of ethics -- a principled life -- for guiding behavior. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/paul-gilmartin-principled-life-episode-687/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-da

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How feasible is online dating for someone in the public eye? How do you stay engaged in conversation without seeming like you are working really hard for it? What do you do when you're skilled at helping people overcome their social anxiety but not so skilled at helping yourself? What's someone with a high IQ got to do to keep everyday life challenging? Is always wanting better clouding your dating judgment? How does a man propose to another man? Will the party really be ruined and the world come to an end if you invite the office's most unpopular person? Or is it possible for your coworkers to act like adults? Recommendation (and non-recommendation) of the week: The Wolves at the Door: The True Story of America's Greatest Female Spy and Scam City Quick shoutouts to Helen Elias and her fiancé Abe in Mexico, and Ruth from Sweden an

Akshay Nanavati (@fearvanalife) was on the brink of suicide, but overcame drug addiction, alcoholism, and PTSD from fighting in Iraq with the US Marines. He is the author of Fearvana: The Revolutionary Science of How to Turn Fear Into Health, Wealth, and Happiness. The Cheat Sheet: Why might a Marine veteran be thankful for falling in with the wrong crowd and dabbling with drugs and alcohol at an early age? What is a worthy struggle, and how can enduring hardship with others be a bonding experience? Why our negative emotions are often our greatest gift. What is second dart syndrome, and why does Akshay consider it "the most destructive disease of the mind?" What is the LMNOP cycle, and how can it help people with PTSD? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/akshay-nanavati-fearvana-episode-686/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort

David DeSteno (@daviddesteno) is a professor of psychology at Northeastern University and author of Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride. The Cheat Sheet: Why is delaying gratification so hard and why is it important? Why willpower runs counter to our evolutionary programming and often fails. Why developing prosocial emotions -- gratitude, compassion, and pride -- is a superior strategy for self control. Why reason is biased and allows us to rationalize giving into temptation. What are the health risks of trying to achieve goals by the force of sheer willpower? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/david-desteno-emotional-success-episode-685/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- e

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What's your first step when you suspect child abuse is going on in your cousin's family? Where's the line drawn between real science and pseudoscience? Should you expect sobriety to interfere with your dating options? How do you get closer to relatives you've known your whole life but don't really know much about? Is there a way to gain rapport quickly with a group that's decided collectively not to like you? Should you change your intended career path if you can only land Cs in your related college major? How do you stop worrying about what the future might hold for a blooming long distance relationship and just enjoy the time you have together now? A quick shoutout to Peter V. from CastBox! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on T

Celeste Headlee (@CelesteHeadlee) is the host of On Second Thought at Georgia Public Broadcasting in Atlanta and has been a host and correspondent for NPR and PRI since 2006. She is the author of We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter. "The attempt to change somebody's mind is the death of good conversation." -Celeste Headlee The Cheat Sheet: Learn why listening in the right way is the key to improving what you have to say. Explore ways to correct the bad advice you've picked up about having good conversations. Find out how we can put our cognitive biases in check. See what it takes to have productive disagreements instead of shouting matches. Discover surprising ways your smartphone affects the quality of your conversations -- even if it's off. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/684/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: What's wrong with eating pumpkin pie for breakfast? Are long distance, lack of communication, recurring patterns of behavior, and disempowering beliefs good enough reasons to break up with someone and stay broken up with someone? Sometimes living in the city and commuting to a job in the suburbs isn't the worst idea. How can you overcome insecurity based around something you can't change -- like height? Can a lifelong academic raised by tiger parents hope for a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't have the drive to complete a degree? If you're tired of being seen as "the shy person" in a group, reinventing yourself isn't as hard as you probably think it is. What are the benefits of limited imposter syndrome? What's our advice for an introvert who is interested in cultivating a balance between gaining and maintaining meaningful social ca