Optimize With Brian Johnson | More Wisdom In Less Time

In our last +1, we talked about being Efficient vs. Effective.   Efficiency?    It’s GREAT for managing our time and completing tasks. Not so great for creating EFFECTIVE relationships with people.   We also hammered our “technology is the obstacle to presence!” theme one more time. (I promise to keep coming back to it.)   Today I want to chat about another big relationship idea I’ve been meaning to discuss.   We’re going to talk about the idea of “bids.”   I’m pretty sure I learned about this from Dan Siegel.    Enter: Search of my Mac for “bids”…   Oh, wait.    Actually, I learned about this from THE leading researcher on the science of effective marriages: Jon Gottman!   In his GREAT book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Gottman tells us that we need to “Turn Toward” our partners and respond to their “bids.”    Here’s how he puts it: “Hollywood has distorted our notions of romance and what makes passion sizzle. Watching Humphrey Bogart gather teary-eyed Ingrid Bergman