Intentional Living With Tanya Hale

Many of us have parts of our lives where we want to grow and progress, things we want to do that we haven’t done before, and yet, we hesitate and don’t move forward because it can be so uncomfortable to do something new, to step into change. I call this the certainty of misery. We’re not happy with where we are, but at least it’s comfortable, we’re certain how our life will be from day to day. If we can courage up and instead learn to step into the misery of uncertainty, we can create in our lives something that matches, and maybe even exceeds, what we dream of. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #4 How to Change  on Apple  on Spotify #31 Choosing Your Life  on Apple  on Spotify #50 The River of Misery  on Apple  on Spotify #76 Finding My Wings  on Apple  on Spotify #78 Playing Small  on Apple  on Spotify #80 What A Girl Wants  on Apple  on Spotify #101 Conscious Unbelieving  on Apple  on Spotify #118 100% Responsibility  on Apple  on Spoti

Having a strong sense of self is the key fundamental tool to creating strong relationships. Only when we have a sense of belonging to ourselves, a sense of our worth and value, of our inherent goodness even amidst our flaws and weaknesses, can we show up in the relationship circle as an equal partner. The stronger our sense of self, the greater our capacity for emotional, mental, and sexual connection. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify #371  Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify #372 Why Our Relationships Need Validation on Apple on Spotify #373 Safety in the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify #374 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship on Apple on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It’s All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #333 Sense of Self and Dating on Apple on Spotify #334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify #335 Sense of Self and P

When we feel safe in our relationships, we feel we can show up with more vulnerability.  When we show up with more vulnerability, we create more emotional and physical intimacy.  But oftentimes, the behaviors we are engaging in in our relationships put the other person into protective mode rather than feeling safe, and so we struggle to create the connected relationships we really desire.  In this podcast we will talk about ten ways we can create more of a safe space for our person. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #218 Honest Relationships #243 Having More Honest Communication #244 The Relationship Circle #284 Why Vulnerability Matters #295 Safety in the Relationship Circle #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It’s All In Your Head #333 Sense of Self and Dating #334 Sense of Self and Marriage #341 Choosing to Be All In #344 Are You a Safe Place for Vulnerability? #347 The Self Care of Relationship Repair #357 H

A strong, healthy relationship is one in which we create a very safe place for each person to be 100% themselves. So many of us did not learn growing up what it means to be in a relationship this way.  If you're like me, you thought that growing up and getting married would mean that you would have someone to love you, to shore up your insecurities, to validate you, or to agree with your opinions.  Strong, happy relationships are places to learn how to be more loving and kind and show up in a space of US rather than a space of ME.  In this podcast we are digging a little deeper into what it means to show up in relationship to create a safe space for our partner. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #244 The Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It’s All In Your Head #333 Sense of Self and Dating #334 Sense of Self and Marriage #344 Are You a Safe Plac

Being able to validate your relationship is an important tool in creating a healthier space for the two of you to live and love. Validation is something that we often seek from others to shore up our sense of self. And this never really works, because SELF-worth is something that can only be created within ourselves. Validation in our marriages and relationships, however, is vital. It lets the other person know we see them, we acknowledge them, we accept them, and it creates connection and intimacy. In this podcast we are discussing how we can better validate our relationships to create greater connection. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #29 Validation #244 The Relationship Circle #295 Safety in the Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It’s All In Your Head #333 Sense of Self and Dating #334 Sense of Self and Marriage #344 Are You a Safe Place f

The Relationship Circle is a concept that I keep coming back to again and again with my clients. Understanding the relationship circle helps us stay in our own lanes and resist the temptation to try and take control of things that aren't ours to control.  When we more clearly understand how to allow the other person the space to work through their own struggles and challenges and show up empathetic, supportive, and kind, we can start tapping into the intimate partnership relationships have the possibility of becoming. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #272 Stay In Your Own Lane #289 Why Our Relationships Need Validation #295 Safety in the Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It’s All In Your Head #333 Sense of Self and Dating #334 Sense of Self and Marriage #344 Are You a Safe Place for Vulnerability? #357 How to Be More Understanding Are you curi

Conflict is a word that makes many of us squirm – it’s just so darn uncomfortable! And yet, conflict doesn’t always need to lead to contention. What if you had the skills to turn a conflict into deeper connection and intimacy instead? Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #3 Resolving Conflict #110 The Cost of Being Right #156 The Benefits of Being Wrong #317 Fawning – What Is It, Why Do We Do It, and How to Stop #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #346 How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding #369 Normal, Difficult, Human Interactions #357 How to Be More Understanding Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calend

When humans act like humans, it can sure make our lives difficult. Of course it would be easier if they all just did what we wanted and behaved in ways we thought were appropriate, but that’s just not going to happen. Challenges and difficulties in our relationships are inevitable and a normal part of all relationships. Learning to allow and even embrace these elements of our relationships is a valuable part of growing up into middle age. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #193 No Back-Burner Issues #216 One-Up and One-Down Relationships #217 Self-Respect and Being Wrong #244 The Relationship Circle #257 Other People’s Agency #272 Stay In Your Lane #280 Living in Alignment #295 Safety In the Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship #298 Friendship in Marriage #304 Personalities, Preferences, and Perspectives #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It’s All In Your Head Are you curious

It can be easy, and even feel intuitive, to get in the middle of other people’s business. And it’s even easier when they invite us in, asking for verification that what they are thinking is true and what they are feeling is valid. When we feel we’re being pulled into someone else’s relationship, it’s important that we learn to stay out and let the be responsible for their own relationship. In this podcast, we talk about why that’s important and how to do it better. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #272 Stay in Your Own Lane #289 Why Our Relationships Need Validation #314 When Setting Boundaries is Hard #344 Are You a Safe Place for Vulnerability? #349 It’s Okay If People Don’t Like You #357 How to be More Understanding Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can

So many of us feel blindsided when it comes to the relationships with our adult children. We heard a lot about the struggles of being a parent to babies, toddlers, tots, pre-teens, and teenagers, but not a lot about our role and relationship with adult children. The reason it can be so challenging is because so many of us struggle to let go of our parenting role and we can often feel that their decisions (which we can often judge as poor) reflect badly on our parenting. In this podcast I'm speaking with Coach Brooke Oniki about how we can show up better in the relationships with our adult children. You can find Brooke at www.brookeoniki.com Here's her Women's Conference talk: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/byu-womens-conference-may-2025-keeping-a-strong/id1819510541?i=1000712108423 Brooke's podcast: Midlife with Brooke Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts: #99 Parenting Adult Children  #129 Parenting Discomfort  #157 Friend-Zoning Your Adult Children 

The conflict between our primitive brain and our prefrontal cortex is as old as our brain itself. Primitive brain wants to avoid pain, pursue immediate pleasure, and conserve energy, while our prefrontal cortex wants to plan for long-term goals and growth to improve the quality of our life. This conflict will often trigger internal negotiation between the two parts of our brain. When we can learn to increase our awareness around this negotiation and apply some tools to our thinking, we can find it easier to shut down the negotiation, keep the commitments we make to ourselves, and grow in our self-respect and self-trust. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #58 The Brain and the Mind #159 When Your Brain Lies to You #169 What Don’t You Want? #229 How to Make Better Decisions #301 The Primitive Brain Problem #316 Confidence to Make Tough Decisions Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are av

Our brain loves a good story, and what it doesn’t know in facts, it will make up with fiction. It also really like to have a villain, a hero, and a victim in its story, and it especially loves to put us in the victim mode because when there we don’t have to shoulder the responsibility for solving our problems, we can just stay in a place of blame, criticism, and accusation. If we are to move out of being stuck in victim mode, we have to learn how to banish the villain from our story and even stop expecting a hero to show up and rescue us. We have to learn how to step out of being the victim and become our own hero.   Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts:   #29 Validation #122 Your Story About You #139 Being a Martyr #140 Still Being A Martyr #152 Victim or Hero? #250 Being a Victim #268 Drama Response #291 Divorce and Self-Worth  Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyah

It can be so easy to neglect the relationships we most value because we have this ideas that they will always be there. And then, because of the neglect, they are no longer there. We may still be married, but we are distant and disconnected, and it can seem daunting to find our way back to connection. But it is possible to change the trajectory of our disconnected relationship and come back into feeling close and connected again. It will take some courage, it will take some intentional efforts, and it will require vulnerability, but you can do it if you really decide it’s what you want. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #244 The Relationship Circle #289 Why Our Relationships Need Validation. #295 Safety in the Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationships #298 Friendship In Marriage #302 Gottman’s Four Horsemen – Destroying Relationships Has Never Been So Easy #341 Choosing To Be All In #342 What Does Vulnerability Look Like? #343 Gr

When we over-function, we are stepping into other people’s lanes and taking responsibility that is not ours. When we under-function, we are stepping back and inviting people into our lane to do things that we are responsible for doing. These one-up and one-down behaviors are so detrimental to our relationships and not only stem from our own insecurities but also feed the insecurities of others and promote resentment in everyone involved. This conversation with fellow mid-life relationship coach, Jane Copier, discusses the impact of over- and under-functioning and provides great examples to help you see how you might unknowingly be adding to the dysfunction of your relationships. Want to find Jane? Podcast: ‘Happy in the Middle’, and specifically episode #83 How to Stop Over-Functioning Website: https://janecopiercoaching.com TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@coachformidlifewomen   IG: https://www.instagram.com/jane.copier.coaching/   FB: https://www.facebook.com/LDSChristianMarriageCoach   Email:  jane@janecopi

Continuing our journey this week of discovering ways that we can ive a more luxurious life by creating energy, living in alignment with our values, and stepping into the person we have the possibility of being. Living a luxurious life requires intention and focus, it requires discipline and dedication. And it is so worth it. When we are living with a bucket that is filled to overflowing, we are living a beautiful life. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #7 Boundaries, part 1 #8 Boundaries, part 2 #9 Boundaries, part 3 #37 Self-Care #86 Is Self-Care Being Selfish? #143 Stuck in Perfectionism #148 Grace & Grudges in Our Relationships #173 A Space for Grace #174 Better Boundaries #230 People-Pleasing #238 Overflow #242 Circling Back Around #268 Drama Response #270 People Pleasing and Kindness – What’s the Difference? #314 When Setting Boundaries Is Hard #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It’s All In Your Head #333 Sense of Self and Dating #334 Sense

Many of us dream of living a luxurious life, and we tend to confine that idea to materialistic luxury, houses and cars and clothing and jewelry and travel, all the things money can buy. And yet there is another type of luxury I want to talk about with you today, and it’s the luxury of living in alignment with our God-given possibility, the luxury of living a life that creates more energy than it expends, a life of feeling amazing in the love we have for ourselves, for others, and for God. This is luxury that feels like a pearl of great price, something we are willing to sacrifice our tolerable life for. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #130 Exploring Our Darkness #183 Taking Risks and Becoming #204 Being a Peacemaker #218 Honest Relationships #238 Overflow #241 Forgiving Others #243 Having More Honest Relationships #271 Equal Partnerships #287 Equality in Your Relationships and Your Self-Worth #299 Love Is Not a Reward #309 What An Equal Relationship Loo

Sexuality between men and women can get complicated because we experience it so differently. And until we can begin to understand and accept those differences, and then learn to work with them rather than fighting against them, we will struggle to find the connection and intimacy that a great sexual relationship has to offer us. In this podcast I am speaking with Dan Purcell, a life coach and Christian couples sex expert about what women may not know about men's sexuality. You can find more of Dan on his popular podcast Get Your Marriage On. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #281 Mid-Life Sexuality with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife #337 Sense of Self and Our Sexuality #345 Men's Sexuality and Intimacy with Sione Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great dis

If we want to increase the intimacy and connection in our relationships, it is imperative that we show up as a safe person who creates a safe space. Often, the patterns we have established in our relationships are the opposite of safe, they cause our primitive brains to go into hyper protective mode and want to run away emotionally and physically. But when we can learn to show up safe, time and time again, we can create a space where our spouse may be willing to start engaging in vulnerability, in the openness and honesty necessary to deepen our engagement. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #3 Resolving Conflict #20 Blame and Responsibility #51 The Silent Treatment #60 Mental and Emotional Abusive Behaviors #61 Charity is the Antidote #75 Emotional Adulthood #143 Stuck in Perfectionism #193 No Back-Burner Issues #197 Connecting Through Conflict #230 People Pleasing #239 How to Own Your Own #240 Passive-Aggressive Behavior #242 Circling Back Around #270 Pe

Difficult emotions can be, well, difficult. And because they don’t feel good, we will often dismiss, ignore, or resist them, which can be unfortunate when there is so much amazing information behind the emotions we are feeling and why we are feeling them. When we can learn to be aware of the emotion and then step into curiosity to figure out what it is teaching us about ourselves, we become empowered to make the changes necessary for positive movement in our lives. And living in alignment with who we really want to be is one of the most empowering things we can do. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #75 Emotional Adulthood #194 When You Feel Sad, or Bad, or Mad #219 The Truth About the Struggle #225 Shame, Blame, and Disempowerment #252 How to Courage Up In the Face of Fear #254 When You Feel Resentment #306 The Problem with Happiness #348 Entitled Expectation Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coachi

Our insecurities and the protective nature of our primitive brain can make meaningful connection in our relationships difficult. These protective tendencies make it difficult for us to step into truly listening and seeking to understand the other person. When we can learn to consciously set aside these human tendencies to preserve and protect ourselves, in areas where we really don’t need protecting, we can step in to truly understand and connect with the other person, relationships change for the better. This podcast teaches you three things you can do to better understand and connect with others around you. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #3 Resolving Conflict #5 Learning to Listen #41 Correcting and Connecting #77 Other People’s Opinions #156 The Benefits of Being Wrong #197 Connecting Through Conflict #242 Circling Back Around #251 Contention is a Choice #258 Communication That Connects #283 How To Be a Better Partner #289 Why Our Relationships Need