Rum Doings

Heaven high. It's episode 133 of Rum Doings, in which we don't discuss whether pensioners should donate their bus passes to charity. Instead we somnambulistically chatter about sleep, poo Braille, and periods. Then Nick begins a sizeable lecture on Bach. No, don't be scared, it's good. We express our lifelong dismay that we never married cello players, John regales his anthropological journey into ITV, and we laugh in horror at UKIP. And then we explain in detail how everything is the fault of the immigrants, especially the one that is Nick.

Heaven high. It's episode 131 of Rum Doings, in which we don't discuss whether teachers should stop teaching their liberal views of history. Instead we talk about the latest news in the Boston bombings, as insensitively as you might expect.

Heaven high. It's episode 131 of Rum Doings, in which we don't discuss what to do with the interest rates. And then despite Nick's insistence before we started recording that he didn't want to, he then insists on talking about John's misogyny/sexism article on RPS for about forty million years. We do also discuss other more important matters, such as The Golden Girls, accidental upgrades, and My Little Pony.

Heaven high, listeners. It's episode 129 of Rum Doings, in which we don't discuss whatever happened to the dinosaurs. Instead we talk about how John is the most hated man in the world, Nick's experiences at a comedy gig, and John is finally brought back down to Earth from his delusional celebrity. We then play "Guess The Newspaper From The Headline", the game that's sweeping the nation, Nick explains why the SNP won't win, and then there are more lessons in healthy eating from our nutritionist guru. Learn how Nick's daughter turned into a guinea pig, the murderous ways of Ricarda Bigjoan, and some slightly more introspective discussion of the nature of bullying of trans* people. And bad laughers.

We're back, back, back. It's episode 129 of Rum Doings, in which we don't discuss how all this snow cuh global warming! Instead we talk about the silliness of condemning bacon, the sugariness of Coca Cola, and then we partake in the Pukka Bath Quiz. As per usual, Nick insists on talking about videogames, and the SimCity nonsense. And then John explains how forgetting a bag literally led to a matter of life or death. We discuss death, and being old, and how our parents are never allowed to die.

It's episode 128 of Rum Doings! This week we don't discuss the illegality of trains and windmills. John speaks from deep inside a cold, while Nick speaks from the bottom of a well, as we discuss John and Laura's freshly launched blog, Pregnant Pause. And thus the machinations of masturbating in a hospital. Nick needs viewing suggestions for his flight, and John did the very impossible and stayed in a good British hotel.

A belated episode is pretty much all about offence. For once not our being offensive, but rather discussing when we're offended. This begins with a grilling of John for his new-found puritanical ways, and a grilling of Nick as to why he's so debauched. There's unanimous celebration of the snow, as Nick revels in his joy about the weather. We walk dangerously close to the topic of gender once more, condemn those who've made their mind up about all manner of complex matters, then Nick describes the birth of a new racial stereotype. And we make it clear that Miranda is not funny.

It's a new year, a brand new start, a fresh... nope, it's the usual Rum Doings. Episode 126 begins with brief chatter about Christmas, destroying showers, and the role of conferences. We explore the learning of languages, and scientifically calculate which is the best language to listen to. We learn what's wrong with Tolkien, Peter Jackson, and digital cinema. And what's right with Paul Thomas Anderson and Sam Raimi. And then John explains what was right with Peter Jackson. And then it ends.

It's the Rum Doings Christmas Special! A double-length episode to see you through into the new year, with John sounding like he's in another room - turns out the new mic isn't multi-directional. We'll return to Mr Droopy in 2013. What do we discuss? I'm not going to tell you! (Although I'll warn there's rather a lot of penis talk.) You're the sort who rattles and sniffs your presents, aren't you? Well you'll have to just unwrap it.

Episode 124 of Rum Doings sees us getting into a Christmas mood with, er, a bottle of Bacardi Breezer. Taking Christmassy questions from Twitter, we begin by discussing favourite Christmas presents (Nick's is of course a videogame), and then divert off onto John's late grandmother and her lying ways. Nostalgia sweeps over both of us, before diverting yet again toward Harry Enfield, and his Question Time sketch. We solve so many of your problems, work out what a secret Santa present should be, and make rulings on whether murder is okay.

In episode 123 of Rum Doings, Nick and John don't discuss the nightmare of nightmare neighbours. But they do concentrate on important discussions such as the rhyming nature of the alphabet, Laura's fleeing John to Germany, and why ladies are only allowed to address Bristol University CU when accompanied by their husband. We discover just how angelic blind people are, according to the Big Bumper Book Of Facts, explore Starbucks' finances, and tell 14th century jokes.

In a disgusting ignoring of the most precious rules, Rum Doings Episode 122 begins with our discussing the topic. At length. We understand if you'll no longer be listening. This rather sets the tone for the episode, as we find ourselves mostly discussing Daily Mail stories, which is - in fairness - when our podcast is best. Nick also finally reads the second story from his internet primer book, which I can strongly recommend for those having trouble getting to sleep. More Daily Mail, the lack of ladybishops, fond memories of Mary Whitehouse, and working out Sophie Borland news stories. If you have any suggestions, post them below. We'd really love it if you left a review on iTunes. Yes, iTunes is hideous, but reviews on there are what get podcasts more attention. After 100 free episodes, we'd love you to return the favour by writing a quick review.

We're back! It's episode 121 of Rum Doings. With Nick too lazy to travel to Bath, still, we're back online. But! Not on Skype! Using Mumble, as so many suggested, we have a much more natural conversation (although still not as good as the real thing). This week we don't discuss whether Phillip Schofield should be in charge of solving all crime. Obviously we discuss the recent US election, and the consequences of it all for the Republican party. There's also talk of Page 3, and the place boobies hold in our society. Breast feeding, Nuts and topless bathing are all places where you can see boobs, as we extensively explain. There's a brief discussion of the games journalism row of a couple of weeks back, and Nick inevitably tries to make everything much worse. And then we ponder the new arch bish, and the embarrassing position the Church Of England still takes on same sex couples. And that's your lot.

It's Rum Doings Episode 120! They didn't say it couldn't be done, because they didn't care. To celebrate this monumental milestone, we don't shut up for ages. In a bumper-length episode we talk our usual rubbish for 85 non-stop minutes. Swigging on Japanese rum, with accompanying lame racism, we turn to the esteemed journal, The Practising Midwife. Here we learn how witchcraft is used by midwifes to save babies. We figure out the mistake all previous prime ministers have made when firing their shamed ministers, and then naturally move on to comics. That takes us to why we didn't enjoy Lord Of The Rings, and eventually the feminism of Arnie and Stallone. Which then means we insist you watch The Villain. At the start of the second half we ponder Timmy Mallett, and find ourselves discussing Saturday morning television. Including John's appearance thereon. Then some magic. And then some reminiscing about when we didn't hate DVDs.

Rum Doings in the flesh! At last, at long long last, we're in the same room, for episode 119. Not discussing Skype, we celebrate our corporeal companionship by drinking some actual, proper rum. It's like the good old days. What the hell is John's problem with booth babes? Why does John deserve all the thanks? And then Nick decides to once more wander into the topic of trans matters. Of course we stumble briefly into the story about Jimmy Saville, but then quickly move on to John's holiday to Nazi Austria. This takes us to a comparison of the London and Vienna natural history museums, and naturally onto the most efficient way to buy a Starbucks. Things take a slightly odder tone, and then everything comes to an abrupt end when Nick refuses to carry on with Victoria in the room. And thank goodness, after what Nick said.

Episode 118 of Rum Doings we begin with Nick's revelation that all Austrians are Nazis, then learn the TRUTH about what tooth dreams mean. An extended argument about the efficacy of acupuncture gets a little heated, before we realise it's time for our weekly round-up of Romney's adventures. There's no Rum Doings next week, as John's away on his holidays, so imagine an episode of your own creation.

Episode 117 of Rum Doings wants to tell you a story. And when we're done, we discuss the scandalous underground dog food crime ring taking place in John's street, Laura's spectral science, and the demise of Ubi's DRM. We check in on our weekly "Can We Envisage President Romney?" feature, and wonder why the American Christian-right are accepting a Mormon.

Episode 116 of Rum Doings comes in a week following a week that had a Rum Doings in it! To celebrate our sweet one hundred and sixteen, we don't discuss whether Apple has the right to unsharp corners. Highlights include thoughts on the Paralympics, booing at George Osborne, and the death of cats. Then we learn a great deal about carpet cleaning.

Episode 115 of Rum Doings is a very, very late episode, recorded while the Olympics were still on. Nick then took a week to send his files to John, then John took a week to put them online. We are both rubbish, and we apologise. But fortunately, it’s a top-notch episode, despite being recorded on Skype with the line dropping very near the end. No, really, it’s still good! Highlights include the renaming of John’s wife, the discovery of the Kitchen Fairy, and Nick lying about visiting Bath. We watch sunsets on Mars, John has actually been running, and we express our surprise at just how good the Olympics were.

In a surprise early episode 114 of Rum Doings, Nick and John record an episode while the events of the weekend are fresh in their minds. Nick attended the Olympic opening ceremony, and has quite a bit to say on the Britain it portrayed. While John wrote a blog post (below) that rather a lot of people looked at. We discuss them both, entirely forgetting to have a topic not to talk about.