Happier With Gretchen Rubin

Some people have no trouble meeting expectations for others but struggle to follow through on what they want for themselves. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. We revisit the Four Tendencies to explore the three biggest challenges Obligers face—shame, exploitation, and rebellion—and what actually helps. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Struggling to make progress on a habit? This episode offers a different approach—get a 14-day free trial of Activations (plus a big discount) at activations.com/happier. Determination Day, February 28, is a useful time to take stock of your progress (or lack of it) on any change you’re trying to make. In this bonus episode, we talk with Mimi Bouchard, creator of the Activations app, about a practical, science-backed way to adjust your approach when progress feels harder than expected. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.  Reminder: as an exclusive offer for “Happier” listeners, you can get 2 weeks FREE plus a special discount to the Activations app at activations.com/happier. These guided audios are designed to help you feel

In honor of our “Steel” anniversary, we share some of our favorite suggestions, insights, hacks, and highlights from the previous year. Resources & links related to this episode: Listen to my Audible Original Get It Done Very Special Episode 540 on Whimsy  Design Your Summer Simon Haisell's Footnotes and Tangents newsletter Understanding Obliger-Rebellion How to Question a Questioner Solving Rebel Resistance to Something Desirable Electric throw blanket Accountability Hacks Parenting Hacks Our Father’s Obituary - Little Happier  Secrets of Adulthood Talking to Liz Gilbert about All the Way to the River College drop-off hacks The Since You Asked podcast  Very Special Episode "What secrets your therapist wish they could tell you" Happier in Hollywood Substack  Secrets of Adulthood Substack Elizabeth is reading: The All-Girl Filling Station’s Last Reunion by Fannie Flagg (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: Homecoming by Cynthia Voigt (Amazon,

I learned something surprising in law school: To a great extent, we can’t be forced to follow the law; we must decide to follow the law. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For many people, money is a source of anxiety and guilt. In this Roundtable conversation, we explore why the subject of money is so challenging, and also the small, realistic changes that can make money management feel easier. Resources & links related to this episode: Mrs. Dow Jones Reema Khrais Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk about how we’re using Determination Day (February 28) to reengage with our “26 for ’26” list. We also share listeners’ excellent suggestions for “Move 26 in ’26,” as well as an example of how understanding someone’s Tendency reduces conflict in a marriage. Resources & links related to this episode: Are you a Lark or an Owl?  Strategy of Distinctions Strategy of Pairing Strategy of Accountability 21 Strategies for Habit Change Download the free Determination Day PDF here Lady Gaga singing "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" Give yourself permission to lower the bar.  Elizabeth is reading: Unspeakable Things: Silence, Shame, and the Stories We Choose to Believe by Brooke Nevils (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: The School of Night by Karl Ove Knausgaard (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The H

When I called the emergency vet to ask a question about my dog Barnaby, her answer gave me an important insight into the challenge of decision-making. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As part of the Move 26 in ’26 Challenge, we’re sharing a listen-along episode to pair with your 26 minutes of daily movement. Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson discuss the role movement plays in a happier life and share favorite clips from podcasts like IMO and The Second Opinion with Dr. Sharon that explore how movement, discipline, and mental health shape who we become. Great listening for a walk, a workout, or any way you like to move. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk why it’s valuable to “go for the no” instead of avoiding rejection and failure. Plus we give our suggestions for excellent same-day books and a hack for making email more efficient. Resources & links related to this episode: Get the Winter Bingo card here Subscribe to my "Five Things" newsletters here  The English Understand Wool by Helen DeWitt (Amazon, Bookshop) Foster by Claire Keegan (Amazon, Bookshop) Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark(Amazon, Bookshop) All Systems Red by Martha Wells (Amazon, Bookshop) Heartburn by Nora Ephron (Amazon, Bookshop) Wise Blood by Flannery O’Connor (Amazon, Bookshop) Elizabeth and Her German Garden by Elizabeth von Arnim (Amazon, Bookshop) The Summer Book by Tove Jansson (Amazon, Bookshop) Happy All the Time by Laurie Colwin (Amazon, Bookshop) Strangers by Belle Burden (Amazon, Bookshop) Different Seasons by Stephen King (Amazon, Bookshop) A Month in the Country by J. L. Carr (Amazon, Bookshop) Oh, William by Elizabeth Strout

A famous quip illustrates an important point: Small debts burden the borrower; big debts burden the lender. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk about the power of reframing—specifically, reframing the meaning of a siren. We also talk about a passage from the novel “Little Women” that illuminates our experience of our father’s death. Resources & links related to this episode: Secrets of Adulthood newsletter on Substack Happier in Hollywood newsletter on Substack  Find tips and hacks for No-Spend February here Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In honor of No-Spend February, we talk about why it’s a good time to turn in your coins and to use up your gift cards. We also talk about the juggler vs. aerialist distinction, and how the Four Tendencies framework can illuminate an experience of family estrangement.  Resources & links related to this episode: Coinstar Wall Street Journal article by therapist Rachel Glik Elizabeth is reading: Strangers by Belle Burden (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The traditional Russian practice of “sitting on suitcases” is an excellent ritual for anyone setting off on a trip. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why is it so hard getting yourself to do what you want to do? This overview of the Four Tendencies explains why motivation works differently for different people and how understanding how you respond to expectations can make follow-through easier.   Resources & links related to this episode: Four Tendencies Framework  Take the Four Tendencies quiz here  Order The Four Tendencies here Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We share our plans for our next “No-Spend February”—our rules, our exceptions, and what we hope to learn.   We also share a more elegant term for “squats” and discuss an interesting self-knowledge question related to the makeshift. Resources & links related to this episode: Join us for No-Spend February Shop the sale in The Happiness Project Shop Listen to Episode 466 here  Listen to Episode 475 here  Elizabeth is reading: Half His Age by Jennette McCurdy (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is rereading: Gray Divorce: What We Lose and Gain from Mid-Life Splits by Jocelyn Elise Crowley (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information

A modern fable is an excellent illustration of a very popular loophole used to justify breaking good habits. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk about the impulse to save things, such as stationery or fine china, even when it makes no sense. And we also talk about the puzzling popularity of coffee-table books. Resources & links related to this episode: Check out my new LinkedIn Learning course on the Four Tendencies How to Write Your Own Personal Commandments  Join the "Move 26 in '26" challenge Electric throw blanket Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, we talk about the recent death of our beloved father, Jack Craft—what we’ve experienced, what we’ve learned. We also share many tender, practical suggestions from listeners about how to manage this kind of a profound loss.  Resources & links related to this episode: Raymond Carver’s last book, A New Path to the Waterfall (Amazon, Bookshop) One last reminder to sign up for The Happiness Project Revisited course I Want You to Know: My Portrait of You  Obituary of John Charles Craft Elizabeth is reading: Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is rereading: American Gods by Neil Gaiman (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/

We worked for several days on this obituary for my father. We wanted to capture his extraordinary spirit. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk about a hack from the world of the Real Housewives that makes party-giving easier and more fun. We also discuss the question, “What’s an ordinary food that most people seem to like—but not you?” Plus the pleasure of a better tennis bag. Resources & links related to this episode: Sign up to be a Super-Fan! Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.