We Hate Movies

In this week's episode, the gang travels to Outworld to take on Goro and the rest of the freaks in the ass kicking video game adaptation, Mortal Kombat! Why did they cower away from any blood whatsoever? Why does Reptile have to look like the SoBe mascot? And why did they cast a white guy to play Lord Rayden? PLUS: A Mortal Kombat themed vacation resort might be the new Happiest Place on Earth! Mortal Kombat stars Christopher Lambert, Robin Shou, Linden Ashby, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Talisa Soto, Trevor Goddard, Chris Casamassa, François Petit and Keith Cooke; directed by Paul W.S. Anderson. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this WHM Mail Bag, the gang opens up some letters talking about strange Chuck E. Cheese encounters, divorced dads at the movies, favorite Jim Belushi films and academic Abraxas crossword puzzles! PLUS: A letter from an actual American hero.  If you have a silly, fun, sad, outlandish, weird story that you think is WHM-related, write in! Send all eerie tales to weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang kicks off #SBE2014 with the dull film about wannabe superheroes, Mystery Men! Why make a movie about tertiary characters from a comic book no one really cares about? What was with that brutal murder? And is it possible Tim Burton directed this? PLUS: The "Time to Make the Donuts" guy is getting ripped off... from beyond the grave! Mystery Men stars Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria, William H. Macy, Janeane Garofalo, Kel Mitchell, Paul Reubens, Wes Studi, Greg Kinnear, Claire Forlani, Tom Waits, Eddie Izzard, Lena Olin, Artie Lange and Geoffrey Rush; directed by Kinka Usher (or possibly Tim Burton). Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang concludes their Memorial Day Hot Dogs & Hamburgers double feature by taking to task the incredibly offensive college comedy, Hamburger: The Motion Picture! Why is our hero such a dud? How was everyone okay with the treatment of Magneto Jones? And did Dick Butkus' character really need to be a racist? PLUS: Ronald Reagan movie reviews and Jesse Ventura counts "10"s! Hamburger: The Motion Picture stars Leigh McCloskey, Chip McAllister, Jack Blessing, Charles Tyner, Debra Blee, Randi Brooks and Dick Butkus; directed by Mike Marvin. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang hits the slopes with the outrageous, irresponsible, hot dog free, Hot Dog... The Movie! Why are we touring so many motels before we get to the mountain resort? Who thought naming a Japanese character "Kamikaze" was a good/funny idea? And what's with the Duran Duran instrumental mix? PLUS: Nick Nolte, Nazi Hunter. Hot Dog... The Movie stars David Naughton, Patrick Houser, Tracy Smith, James Saito and Shannon Tweed; directed by Peter Markle. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang tackles the ridiculous Jesse "The Body" Ventura masterpiece, Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe! What is the point of those crappy police characters? Why do we need so many people doing voice overs? And is that, no, it can't be...Jim Belushi? PLUS: We think one of those house painters over there just might be Secundas. Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe stars Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Marjorie Bransfield, Francis Mitchell and, yes, James Belushi; directed by Damian Lee. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang gets super extreme and totally has their minds blown while watching The Butterfly Effect! With this trumped up student film, who thought it was a good idea to put up the money? Why does there have to be so many bad things happening to these poor kids? Pick one! And who really thought that Directors' Cut ending was worth even shooting? PLUS: A peek inside the writers' room for this film. The Butterfly Effect stars Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smart, Elden Henson, William Lee Scott, Melora Walters, Ethan Suplee and Eric Stoltz; directed by Eric Bress and J. Mackye Gruber. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang gets in a bar brawl with Clint Eastwood and Clyde the Orangutan in the bare knuckle action flick, Every Which Way But Loose! How is Eastwood getting this ape into all these restaurants? Why does Beverly D'Angelo so easily agree to get in this creep's truck? And who on Earth asked for that much Ruth Gordon? PLUS: Eastwood's blood is boiling. Every Which Way But Loose stars Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis, Beverly D'Angelo, Ruth Gordon and Manis the Orangutan as Clyde the Orangutan; directed by James Fargo. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang tackles the laughless, Anthony Michael Hall passion project, Hail Caesar! How did something like this get the green light? Why did Robert Downey agree to this nothing role? And how dare they drop a secret music video into this film? PLUS: The search for laughs turns up zero results. Hail Caesar stars Anthony Michael Hall, Bobbie Phillips, Leslie Danon, Samuel L. Jackson, Judd Nelson, Robert Downey Jr., Robert Downey Sr., and Frank Gorshin; directed by Anthony Michael Hall... for some reason. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang enters the Under 18 All-Valley tournament with Ralph Macchio and Thomas Ian Griffith in the ridiculous sequel, The Karate Kid Part III! Why did the filmmakers insist on making all the stories play back-to-back? How is John Kreese not in prison for joking out kids in parking lots? And what is with that platonic relationship crap, LaRusso? PLUS: Terry Silver takes over the crown as Greatest WHM Villain! The Karate Kid Part III, stars Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Robyn Lively, Martin Kove, Sean Kanan and Thomas Ian Griffith; directed by John Avildsen. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang gets nostalgic for '80s arcade culture with the ?classic? raunch comedy, Joysticks! How does this nerd fall for that sorority prank at the beginning? Why isn't Joe Don Baker tossing furniture in this movie? And isn't it beautiful to see the entire high school caste system melt away once these characters enter the glorious video arcade? Plus: Joe Don Baker gets mistakenly cast in Boogie Nights! Joysticks stars the great Joe Don Baker, Leif Green, Jim Greenleaf, Scott McGinnis, Corinne Bohrer & Jon Gries; directed by Greydon Clark. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang goes on the road with Elijah Wood and Bruce Willis in the absolutely horrendous family tragedy, North! Who thought any of the so-called jokes in this movie would actually land? How is it that no one saw just how cruel this film is? And how on Earth did they get away with so much racism? Plus: Some of the most stomach churning child acting you've ever seen! North stars Elijah Wood, Bruce Willis, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jon Lovitz, Alan Arkin, Dan Aykroyd, Reba McEntire, Graham Greene, Kathy Bates, Abe Vigoda, Richard Belzer, John Ritter, Faith Ford, Scarlett Johansson and Robert Costanzo; directed by Rob Reiner. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang tries (and fails) to travel through time with Fisher Stevens and Dennis Hopper in the forgotten sci-fi dud, My Science Project! Why did the script call for all those slurs? How does this time travel movie not feature any time travel? And how do you boil Dennis Hopper down into such a nothing character? Plus: A kid from 1985 travels to a McDonald's...in 1998. My Science Project stars John Stockwell, Danielle von Zerneck, Fisher Stevens and Dennis Hopper; directed by Jonathan R. Betuel. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang heads back to snowy Maine with Thomas Jane and Jason Lee in the fart filled, Stephen King adaptation, Dreamcatcher! Really, what is with all the farting? Was Stephen King just recycling all his old ideas to make one super-sized Stephen King novel? And why does the military have to get involved? Plus: Wilford Brimley accidentally votes Carter in '76. Dreamcatcher stars Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant, Morgan Freeman, Donnie Wahlberg and the Unemployable Tom Sizemore; directed by Lawrence Kasdan. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang travels to Montreal - or do they stay in New York? - to ride alongside Gary Busey in the geographically confused art thriller, Canvas! Have there ever been two less convincing actors playing New York Italians? How are the cops not on to Gary Busey this whole time? And does this film take place in Montreal or New York? PLUS: This movie's bullshit, Indy! Canvas stars Gary Busey, John Rhys-Davies, Vittorio Rossi, Nick Caviola and Jonathan Palis; directed by Alain Zaloum. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang takes a creepy trip south to point and stare at Michael Caine in the incredibly disturbing Blame It On Rio! Why is there a parrot in almost every shot? Has Michael Caine ever been seedier? And why doesn't Demi Moore step in and stop this madness? Plus: Is there anything you can't blame on Rio? Blame It On Rio stars Michael Caine, Michelle Johnson, Joseph Bologna, Demi Moore and Valerie Harper; directed by Hollywood legend, Stanley Donen. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang gets ready to break up some nostalgia with the insanely terrifying, family in peril thriller, Mrs. Doubtfire! Why does this movie need to tack on the anti-smoking message? How does Robin Williams not see that divorce a mile away? And why does he make Harvey Fierstein design all those other disguises if he knows he's going as Mrs. Doubtfire? Plus: We open Alcatraz back up for one very special execution. Mrs. Doubtfire stars Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein, and Robert Prosky; directed by Chris Columbus. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang heads down to the Big Easy with JCVD and Wilford Brimley in the 1993 action pseudo-classic, Hard Target! What is going on with all these accents? Is Lance Henriksen the Devil? And can everyone agree to stop saying "Daddy"? Plus: Wilford insists on doing all of his own stunts. Hard Target stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, Lance Henriksen, Yancy Butler, Arnold Vosloo and Wilford Brimley; directed by John Woo. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang hits the stage at the People's Improv Theater to rag on one of the 1980's hunkiest flubs, Masters of the Universe! Why does it feel like we're starting with a sequel to a different He-Man movie? Who OK'd that Skeletor makeup? And why is there so little He-Man in this movie? Plus: He-Man, arch nemesis of Richard Nixon. Masters of the Universe stars Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Meg Foster, Billy Barty and Courteney Cox; directed by Gary Goddard. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang kicks off another Listener Request Month with 1985's amazing, karate-feuled, revenge film, Pray for Death! Why would you leave behind a lucrative promotion to open a terrible restaurant in another country? What's with Limehouse's love of costumed shenanigans? And where did that chainsaw come from? Plus: Saito's revenge rampage runs awfully close to Batman's origin. Coincidence? Pray for Death stars Sho Kosugi, James Booth, Donna Kei Benz and Michael Constantine; directed by Gordon Hessler. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies